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I’m not happy in my marriage anymore - What should I do if I’m not happy in my marriage.
Gone are the days when we celebrate 25, 30 and 50 year anniversaries. Divorce actually take a seat at the service and stalks the newly weds from day one. We all know the familiar statistic that one in two marriages fail and end in divorce. What I want to know is why that other one (in the two) is in desperate need of curing an unhappy marriage. Marriage seems to be this complicated union that is wonderful on the outside and yet miserable on the inside.
Let's run a scenario. You meet this wonderful person, fall in love, and have an amazing courtship. You get engaged and have a wedding. Life is amazing. You get the house and start planning the family. Baby comes along and you need a bigger place and a safer car. Life becomes more cluttered and busy. Whilst this is very stereotypical you get my point. In no time you will be strangers. Conversations will die and drifting apart is easy. Curing an unhappy marriage is not easy. It requires you to confront what went wrong ( without blaming anyone ) and then fixing it.
I would like to offer some advice to help your marriage. This advice may not read well to you but trust me. I have been married over 10 years. The first year was great. The next 7 were not. So allow one who is still traveling the road to say to you this is the way I took, try it. First realize that the will to begin curing an unhappy marriage is admirable. It speaks of hope. I am not talking into situations of physical and emotional abuse. Those situations should be avoided and professional help sought immediately.
First step is to avoid arguing at all costs. This is very difficult. You are conditioned to bickering and fighting so now to stop I know is hard. I also mean learn to communicate with each other 'properly'.
Second step is to spend time together. This doesn't have to be extravagant dinners and holidays. Just take baby steps and say to your spouse this next 10 minutes belongs to you. I am all yours. Don't carry expectations into these tips as you will set them up to fail. Curing an unhappy marriage takes time, so give it the time it needs.
If you can learn to communicate effectively and to spend time together you will go along way turning an unhappy marriage around. As long as both of you are walking in the general direction I believe change can happen.
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If you try to figure out how to save marriage from divorce, there is help for you. Divorce statistics have shown that half of the couples who married as teens or for the first time will end up divorced. For those who married for the second time, 60 per cent of them ended in divorce. For those who married more than twice, more than 70 per cent ended in divorce.
So what do those statistics tell you?
They told you that those couples do not really understand and agree with each other even if they said they do. Addiction like gambling, incompatibility, inability to accommodate each other's lifestyles, extramarital affairs, finances are some of the root causes.
Having said that, here are 5 ways to help you save your marriage from divorce.
1. Identify The Causes Of Your Marriage Problems
Identifying the causes of your marriage problems will not be easy if you are someone who refuses to accept criticism or admit your mistakes. If that describes you, you are not alone. I was like that too.
Still that does not excuse you and your spouse from going through this process of identifying and resolving the causes. Failure to do so will cause your marriage to deteriorate and wind up in divorce. For that to begin, you need to make the first step to communicate and discuss with your spouse.
2. Stop Blaming Each Other For The Problem
Doing so will result in more arguments, fights and even tragedies as the worse case scenario. Since you are married, you should learn to share and compromise with each other. That is not just what your family and friends want you both to do but what God wants you to as well if you are Christians. You may win the argument but still ended up losing your wife if she decides to divorce and be with someone else. If you have children, you may also be involved in custody as well. So in order to make this a win-win situation for you and your spouse, learn to stop blaming each other for the problem.
3. Spend More Time With Your Spouse
Most of our time is spent on work which is understandable. But if our work requires us to be away from home for days, weeks or even months, that could deteriorate our marriage. Do make a point to spend more time with your spouse. Not just on weekends but weekdays. After dinner time is the best time. Do not just watch TV together but make it a point to go out shopping for groceries or even a stroll in the park. Simple things like those can do wonders to your relationship.
4. Learn To Listen Attentively
Most women tend to talk more. That is their nature and will always be. Their reason for doing so is not sharing their concerns, experiences and problems with the men they love but also seeking assurances and solutions. So if you are a husband, you need to learn to listen attentively. By helping her, you are also helping yourself in return as she will return the favour.
5. Rediscover Romance In Your Marriage
With married life, love can be demonstrated in many ways However, research has shown that couples behave differently in real life from what most people envision or seen in romantic movies One great way is to rediscover romance in your marriage by doing the things that you both enjoy in your dating days.
Make every birthday, Valentine and wedding anniversary a special occasion for each other. Go for a quiet dinner, participate in social activities for couples or even a vacation together can do wonders to your mindsets.
You will feel a lot more positive and organized in your thoughts that way.
50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage. There are powerful techniques that will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here
Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
Being married could be challenging. Visit our blog, we can help you have a blissful marriage! Go to: RomanceDictionary.com
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Further Reading:
I Don’t Love My Wife Anymore but She Loves Me
How To Make My Wife Happy When Angry
How Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation
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