My husband shuts down when we fight - When your husband shuts you out emotionally.
Are you having a conflict with your partner? Is your relation at stake just because your views on a particular issue do not match with him or her? Do you always compromise with the situation by ignoring the argument just to save your relationship? If yes, then bear in mind that avoiding disagreements is not good for the future of your romantic life with your partner.
Although burying issues without resolving them puts an end to the quarrel for some time, it makes situations even worse in future. Whenever you have an argument again in future, these 'buried', old issues would be raised again. If continued in this manner, a time will come when all these unresolved conflicts would pile up, taking your relationship to a painful end. Therefore, it is necessary to resolve all your differences, big or small, as and when they arise.
Following are a few guidelines that will help you resolve your differences and clashes at hand in just six steps:
1) Whenever there is a disagreement, do argue with your partner, but in a constructive manner. Speak your heart out, express yourself, and let your partner know how and why you feel a certain way. Encourage your partner to do the same. However, while arguing, make sure you do not hurt each other emotionally and personally. A healthy bond of love should be built on trust and respect.
2) Just to prove your point right, if you adopt the 'fight-fight' approach and try to give your partner a 'tit-for-a-tat' in everything he/she says, you would never be able to put an end to your conflict. In order to resolve the issue, it is necessary for both of you to keep your ego aside, take one step forward, and accept the opinion of the other. It should be a 'win-win' situation in which both of you feel contented.
3) When you are upset, try to figure out the reason behind it. Quarrels usually arise either when you react harshly to some present situation or when you start reliving a painful event from the past.
4) A relation of love is driven only by emotions and feelings. Bear in mind that both you and your partner love each other and wish to feel good with each other. Therefore, it is essential for each of you to identify your needs and expectations and express the same clearly. Do not keep anything buried in your heart.
5) If you can reach a mutually satisfactory solution by backing up some of your requests, be flexible in your desires and accept the solution with all your heart.
6) At last, if the mutually satisfactory solution does not work, do not fight again by blaming each other for suggesting an inappropriate solution. Make a joint effort to identify the flaw and arrive at a new solution.
Thus, with a little effort and patience, you can resolve all conflicts and make your relationship flourish all life long.
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Broken marriage, to save or not to save? That is often the question most people ask nowadays whose marriage is on the rocks. Should you really try to save or not save your marriage? It really depends on one's situation. A broken marriage is not something that one wishes for but sometimes it is better that way for the good of everybody.
Every marriage has its flaws, no marriage is perfect but those imperfections are not reason enough to split unless of course the main factor that holds a marriage together is gone. What are those factors that keep the marriage intact? Love, respect, honor, and responsibility: once these factors are gone in a marriage then indeed it is better to be free of each other than stay together.
There are a lot of couples who stay together for the wrong reasons which makes them so miserable. Their number one reason of staying together is because of the children, another is because of their parents, what others might say and what their church friends would say, it is certainly the wrong reason to stay together. You will end up more miserable and frustrated. How can you possibly live with someone whom you don't love anymore but despise and hate? What others think doesn't matter, it is your life and you better live it the way you think is right.
However, if both of you are sincere with your marriage but is just undergoing difficulty then make your marriage to work. It is indeed worth to save it all for the right reasons. Remember that you have committed yourself to one another and has promised to be faithful to the marriage vow that you have. It is just normal for a marriage to undergo problems and it is up to you how you handle such problem.
So can a broken marriage be saved? If the couple want to then the obvious answer is "yes". Nothing can be achieved if it is only one who wants to patch things up. You are definitely wasting your time if it is only you who want to save your marriage.
Both parties must be opened to talk honestly to one another. Both parties must want the marriage to work the second time around for the right reasons and that is because you still love, respect, honor and have the sense of responsibility for each other.
Trust is something that you have to work out and be restored because without it marriage can never survive. Ability to listen to one another and try to be positive in everything you do. That way it will ease the air of negativity around you and your spouse would take the lead. This in a way will release some of the tensions and will help both of you to think right and get calm over your situation.
The point here is that, a marriage can only work for two people who are really committed to make their marriage work no matter what happens. Couples who experienced so many challenges throughout their marriage life and were able to overcome those challenges, had their marriage much stronger than it ever was. If both of you really feel like you were meant to be together, then the question "broken marriage, to save or not to save?" wouldn't apply to you.
So take a hold of yourself, are you one of those couples who got married and stay married for the wrong reasons? If not then you don't have to worry and don't have to be afraid for you'll never have to face situations and answering questions like broken marriage, to save or not to save? For sure you will both be able to resolve things before you even come to a conclusion of splitting up.
50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage. There are powerful techniques that will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here
Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
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Further Reading:
How To Fix A Marriage After A Huge Fight
How To Resolve Conflict In Marriage
How To Get Your Spouse To Give Your Marriage A Second Chance
Words Of Wisdom For Newly Married Couple