My husband and I have become roommates - Married but living like friends.
When you still love your spouse, seeing that things are going from bad to worse can be incredibly painful. If you are able to acknowledge this fact and say, "My husband and I are drifting apart," to yourself (instead of just ignoring the problem or thinking it could go away by itself); you have already taken a big step in saving your marriage. Now it's just a matter of getting the right advice. Since I personally saved my marriage when my husband and I had grown apart and things looked hopeless, I want to help you.
When you and your husband are drifting apart, it is usually because, mentally and emotionally, you are not satisfied with the relationship. The biggest constituent in this is continuous fighting. Usually what happens when a couple is arguing all the time is that they start communicating less - because they fear that every conversation can turn into a fight. This is when you start thinking, "my husband and I are drifting apart." Like commonly known, good communication is the single biggest thing that keeps a marriage healthy. So, if you and your husband are growing apart, there are steps to be taken before the marriage breaks down. I want to give examples from my own marriage at this point.
I had seen that my husband and I were drifting apart and I decided to do something. I wanted to talk to him openly about the troubles in our marriage. However, after a couple of painful experiences I ended up frustrated. A guide I found later told my why this was the case: Men aren't like us when they talk about they feelings. They can't be as open as we are, and they usually deal with their feelings in their own minds. When I read that, my experiences in trying to talk my mind about our marriage to my husband flashed through my mind and I found out that that was exactly the case.
Getting closer to your husband can be done by actions rather than words. The blazing speed of everyday life contributes to why you are thinking "my husband and I are drifting apart". What I did was to set aside some time to be with my husband. If you don't make an effort to allocate some time for that, everyday life doesn't much allow for spending alone with your spouse. When you are alone with your husband in a nice, warm environment, you will see that it is a great way to grow close again.
Never forget the fact that you two have been married for a reason - and know that those circumstances can be created again. It just requires some effort to do that, because love requires nurturing.
To learn how to save your marriage even if alone at first, then check out this plan of action that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you could be doing. If they saved their marriages then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done...
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Does your daily routine consist of waking up in the early hours of the morning, to get ready for work, and then to get your children ready for school? And then after work you come home, cook for your partner and childrens dinner, then watch some TV before you pop off to bed. Well it doesn't have to be like this day in, day out.
Is the life you want to lead?
I'm guessing you don't want to live your life like this, put the romance back into your marriage today! First of all you need to communicate with your partner, for god sake how is your partner suppose to know how your feeling if you don't communicate with them. And I don't mean to talk to your partner if he is watching a football game, or if she is watching her soap operas. I mean proper communication time, sit down alone with no distractions. Talk about how your feeling, talk about your ambitions, your dreams every single day! When listening to your partner, don't just nod and reply with one word answers, you have to be interested in what they got to say.
I love you, those three words mean a hell of a lot. You do not need to say it every hour of every day. What you do is say it just before you go to bed, of whenever you "feel" it. "I love you and appreciate everything you do for me and our children", wow, saying that goes a long way. How special is that, you can even spice it up every now and then, leave a little note by the side of your partners bed before you leave for work, or a simple email during the day etc.
And finally; surprise your partner every now and then. Buy a single red rose, which are really cheap or a bunch of flowers, these little gifts go along way. Or simply surprise your partner by saying "you look beautiful / handsome today" just out of now where.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
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What is the real meaning of marriage and how can you use that information to help improve your marriage or save it. The find the true meaning of marriage is to understand the love. If you want a marriage to flourish and grow stronger as the years go by then believe it or not most of the changes have to begin with you. In this age we are inundated with Hollywood romance and 2 day marriages. The true meaning of marriage is virtually dead in the selfish world we dwell in today.
You ever heard the phrase 'they don't make em like they used to'. There is something to said about old fashioned values and their place in society. I am not advocating a stereotypical picture that people had no fun in those days but really when you look at what the world is coming to you can't deny that the true meaning of marriage is lost. With that is lost family, with that is lost community, with that is lost society. We lost the true meaning of marriage and we wonder why the world is broken.
The true meaning of marriage is love. By love I mean not what we feel but what we do. Love as a feeling is very flimsy. An up and down roller coaster. Love is an action! In order for it to become the ultimate force and for us to rediscover the true meaning of marriage, love has to be unconditional. When you love someone you do, not feel. When you do it, it is unconditional. You are not looking for acceptance or validation. You are giving of yourself to another not because of them but because of your values. This is the true meaning of marriage. A death to ones self so that another may live and benefit from your sacrifice.
This is not an easy road to walk. It is the most rewarding road however. An old Buddhist saying goes like this, 'I want peace'. If you take your ego (I) and your desires (want) out of the equation i.e. the self, you will have only peace left. The true meaning of marriage is expressing love unconditionally to another. It is an unstoppable force that can endure anything. How do you find it? Within yourself. You have to draw strength from you. Neither seeking validation nor acceptance. Just seeking the opportunity to show love.
I realize this sounds very airy fairy however I went through a patch with my wife through no fault of my own where she wanted to leave me. I could have been upset and angry. I could have demanded reasons and excuses and explanations. However all I did was love her. In spite of all she did I matched each instance of hurt with unconditional love. I looked not for my own desires but for hers alone. I could care less if she stayed or not, I just loved her. That was 10 years ago and we are still happily married.
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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
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Further Reading:
How To Be Happy Alone In A Marriage
How To Make My Husband Want To Sleep With Me
My Husband Threw Me Out Of The House
How To Make My Husband Love Me More In Bed