"AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT"

HUMAN HEEL = WILD BOAR HOOF

THE WILD BOAR HOOF LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THAT OF THE PRESYNAPTIC NERVE CELL AND THE POSTSYNAPTIC NERVE CELL ALSO KNOWN AS THE DIVINE FEMININE AND DIVINE MASCULINE OF FUCKT+UALITY. THEY ARE THE AXON AND THE DENDRITIC BRANCHES.

THEY ARE THE ROOTS AND BRANCHES GAME THAT IVE PLAYED FOREVER. WHEN YOU EITHER EXPAND OR CONTRACT LIKE SPIRAL ENERGY MOTION OR ALL CONSCIOUSNESS BUT NOT FOR ME CAUSE ITS ALWAYS EXPANDED NOW, UNLIKE MY LEGS AND VAGINA = WHEN YOU HAVE A DRAMA GOING ON LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER AND YOUR SISTER SLEPT WITH YOUR BABYDADDY AND SHE DID IT BEFORE YOU HAD THE FIRST KID WITH HIM AND IN BETWEEN THE FIRST AND SECOND KID AND YOU FIND OUT AT A FAMILY AND FRIEND BBQ RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND YOU HANDLE IT ALL CLASSY LIKE BY WALKING AWAY FROM THE SCENE WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH AND YOUR DIGNITY IN PLACE ALL GRACEFULLY AND SHIT (JENNIFER ANISTON IS MY HERO AND MY ROLE MODEL FOR THAT ONE + WE GET FUCKED UP BUT MOVE ON CAUSE THEYRE THE SHITTY ONES + THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOR A WOMAN AS BEAUTIFUL AND AS CLASSY AND GRACEFUL AS JEN) WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE WAS THAT EVERYBODY KNEW AND NOONE TOLD ME + THAT DIDN’T EXPLAIN THE ROOTS AND BRANCHES GAME BUT…

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I WOULD BE FACED WITH A CHOICE AND I WOULD, IN MY MIND, TAKE ONE CHOICE AND BRANCH IT OUT TO ALL ITS POSSIBLE CONCLUSIONS TAKING THE INFO OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED INTO ACCOUNT AND THEN I WOULD DO IT FOR THE OTHER CHOICE AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, I HAD ALREADY LIVED THOSE TWO CHOICES AND I WOULD BE BORED WITH THE IDEA AND SO I WOULD WALK AWAY FROM THE CHOICES.

NOW IF I WANTED TO GET DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY OF SOME BULLSHIT INVOLVING MY BROTHER AND SISTER AND THEIR LOVELY FRIENDS AND MY MISSING WEED AND USED NEW HERBAGE PIPE THAT ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LIGHT IT AND IT WOULD SMOKE FOR YOU SO THAT ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND INHALE AND IT WOULD GO AROUND THE CIRCLE ONCE OR TWICE + TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO DID IT, I WOULD START ELIMINATING MOTIVES AND PEOPLE UNTIL I CAME DOWN TO ONE PERSON + I WASN’T ALWAYS RIGHT BUT THERE IT IS = HIT AND MISS WITH THEM BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.

 I HOPE THAT PART EXPLAINED IT BETTER.

+ SQUARE ROOTS AND EXPONENTIALS OR EXPONENTS + MATH TERMS + THE VAGINA THE PENIS AND THE “PROTEINS” = THE PRE-SYNAPTIC TERMINAL (WHO SOMETIMES BECOMES THE PRE-CUMSYNAPTIC TERMINAL AND PISSES THE POST-SYNAPTIC TERMINAL OFF INSTEAD OF GETTING HER OFF)

IN FUCKT-TUALITY TERMS – THE AXON SHOOTS THE ENERGY IN THE DENDRITIC BRANCHES AND SHE CHANGES THE FREQUENCY OF IT AND DROPS THE NEW ENERGY WITH HER FLAVOR IN IT WITH ANOTHER AXON AND HE THEN, BEING A TYPICAL AXON, TRIES TO SHOOT IT INTO ANOTHER DENDRITIC BRANCH BUT SHE STOPS THAT SHIT CAUSE SHE MADE HIM WEAR A CRYSTAL THAT PROTECTS BOTH THEIR ENERGIES AND BECAUSE OF THAT CRYSTAL, THE PERSON THAT HAS THE NEURONS IN THEIR DOME, HAS A MISFIRING PATTERN OF NEURONS AND DIDN’T HAVE AN IDEA COME TO LIGHT.  

THE PUPPY ALSO KEPT THE PIGGYS AWAY FROM THE WOMEN AND THE MEN AND THE SHAMAN OF THE COMMUNITY NOTICED THAT THE BEHAVIORS OF THE DOGS MATCH THAT OF MEN WHEN ANOTHER ALPHA COMES SNIFFING AROUND AND THE WAY A MAMA IS WITH HER CUBBIES. SHELL KNOCK A MOTHERFUCKER OUT.

IM LISTENING TO A THOUGHT FROM CARL JUNG IN RE SYMBOLISM MYTHOLOGY AND PSYCHOLOGY AND WHAT STOOD OUT, FROM ALL THAT INFO BEING THROWN AT ME, THE THING THAT I GRASPED WAS THE SIMPLE FACT THAT PSYCHIC MEANS ONLY THAT.

OF RELATING TO THE PSYCHE. WHICH IS THE EMOTIONAL PART OF THE BRAIN. IN MY HEAD, THE EGO AND THE ID ARE NOT YET BORN NOR WILL THEY. ALSO, IVE FELT THE DISTASTE THAT PARTS OF SOCIETY HAVE HELD TOWARDS THOSE OF A “MAGICAL” NATURE IN RE TO PSYCHIC POWERS.

BUT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. IF PSYCHIC MEANS ONLY THAT OF WHICH HAS TO DO WITH THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN, THEN WHERE DID THE WHOLE PSYCHIC POWERS THING COME FROM?

AND THEN I REMEMBERED THE KUNDALINI AND TRAUMA. USING MYSELF AS AN EXAMPLE, MY LIFE HAS BEEN FUN FILLED AND TRAUMA FILLED. MOSTLY TRAUMA FILLED AS I REALIZED LATE IN LIFE EXACTLY HOW FUCKT OFF MY CHILDHOOD REALLY WAS USING TODAYS STANDARD AS TO WHAT CONSTITUTES AS “EMOTIONAL ABUSE”.

I USED TO SAY IN MY EARLY 20S THAT I FELT THAT SOCIETY WAS PANDERING TOO MUCH TO THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF A YOUTH THAT WAS STARTING TO SHOW SIGNS OF BECOMING WITHDRAWN AND INTROVERTED. WHICH IS NOT A BAD THING SEEING AS HOW I, TOO, AM NOW LIVING INSIDE MY OWN HEAD AND USE TECHNOLOGY MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT I WOULD.

THATLL SOON BE A HINDRANCE BUT LET ME GET BACK TO “BACK THEN”.

 IN THE LATE 1990S, WE WERE BARELY COMING INTO OUR OWN IN RE TO TECHNOLOGY. THE PAGER HAD COME AND GONE, THE JET PACK WE USED TO CALL A CELL PHONE OR CAR PHONE HAD HAPPENED IN THE 80S WITH THE YUPPY CROWDS AND COCAINE.

 ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM, THERE WAS THE MTV MOVEMENT AND FUNNY CLOTHES AND THE VERY REAL, VERY CLICKY CLIQUES FOUND IN SCHOOL WITH THE VERY BIG LINE DRAWN IN BETWEEN THE TWO SOCIAL CLASSES FOUND EVERYWHERE. YOULL NOTICE THAT THE BREAKFAST CLUB SHOWED US WHAT IT MIGHT POSSIBLY BE LIKE IF THESE TWO WORLDS COLLIDED ONE CRAZY SATURDAY MORNING, EXACTLY LIKE MY SATURDAY MORNING RIGHT NOW.

IT CAME AT AN AGE WHERE IT MIGHT DO SOME GOOD FOR THE KIDS ON THE SCREEN AND FOR THE KIDS WATCHING AT HOME LAYING ON THEIR STOMACHS WITH THEIR CHIN IN THEIR LITTLE HANDS STILL WEARING THE BATHING SUIT THEY WORE EARLIER THAT DAY FROM SWIMMING IN THE DOUGHBOY SITTING NEXT TO THE HUGE FUCKING SATELLITE DISH THAT WOULD ALERT THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHENEVER WE HAD TO ADJUST THE RECEIVER.  IF MY DUMBASS COULD JUST STAY IN THAT FRAME OF MIND, BOTH IN YOUTHFUL INNOCENCE AND IN ANGSTY ADOLESCENCE, I WOULD BE JUST FINE RIGHT NOW.

INSTEAD OF BEING THE NEUROTIC ADULT IVE BECOME BECAUSE OF SPIRITUALITY AND THE MOVEMENT OF THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN COMING INTO PLAY LATE IN THE DECADE THAT CAME AFTER MY CHILDHOOD.

WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO THE POINT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE…

I CANT REMEMBER BUT THE FEELING OF REMEMBRANCE WAS WORTH THAT SOMEWHAT INCOHESIVE DIATRIBE ON ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND YET STILL FUCKING EVERYTHING TO ME.

IM SITTING HERE LISTENING TO THE JOHN HUGHES 80S BEST OF SOUNDTRACKS SOUNDTRACK. I KNOW THAT ITS NOT EXACTLY A SOUNDTRACK BUT I LIKE THE FLOW OF THE SENTENCE.

AND WRITING THIS MORNING ISNT SO BAD AND I WISH THAT I COULD REMEMBER THIS MORNING FOREVER CAUSE I REALLY NEEDED THIS AND THE REMINDER THAT MY LIFE HAS ALREADY BEEN PLANNED OUT FOR ME SEEING AS HOW IM THE SYMBOL FOR THE “NEW HUMAN AND EARTH”. LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE SECTION OF WRITING THAT I LEFT OUT BECAUSE WHENEVER I GO BACK TO FIX A SENTENCE, I WIND UP GOING OFF ON A TANGENT AS IM PROBABLY GOING TO DO NOW BUT THANK GOD THAT I CAUGHT MYSELF IN TIME.

MOVIES LIKE THE ONE WITH MICHAEL J FOX AND THE FAST HIGH-POWERED LIFE WHERE HIS NOSE STARTS BLEEDING AT A PARTY (CAUSE OF ALL THE FUCKING COCAINE HE WAS SNORTING) THAT SIGNALS TO HIM THAT HIS LIFE ISNT AS AWESOME AS WE THOUGHT. RIGHT HERE I COULD USE THIS OPPORTUNITY AS A SEGWAY INTO MY OWN START AT THE SMOKING OF THE AWESOME CRYSTAL THAT THEY HAD IN THE 1990S WHERE A DIME COULD LAST YOU TWO DAYS AND IF YOU DID A LINE OF IT WITHOUT CUTTING IT UP LIKE I USED TO, IT WOULD LEAVE YOU WITH A HOLE IN YOUR NOSE LIKE THE ONE I CURRENTLY HAVE AND WHEN IM NOT CAREFUL, I GET RICE OR GROUND BEEF STUCK IN THERE AND I SOUND LIKE A MYCETOMA FUNGAL SINUSITIS RIDDEN HORSE TRYING TO BLOW IT OUT LIKE A FARMER BLOW.  

BUT WERE GOING TO LEAVE THAT OLD PLAYBOOK BEHIND. IM TIRED OF THAT SAME OLD MOVIE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. IT GOT ME TO HERE AND THAT’S ALL IT WAS NEEDED FOR. SO…

BACK TO THE PARAGRAPH I WROTE EARLIER WHICH HAS BECOME MY OUTLINE FOR THIS HUGE AS INTERMISSIONAL CHAPTER KEEPING THOSE IN THEIR SEATS OCCUPIED AND INTERESTED WHILE THOSE OF A MORE SOCIAL NATURE GO CHIT CHAT BY THE BAR AND THE LADIES MAKE USE OF THE “NECESSARY” “IF NECESSARY”.

I HAD TO LOOK UP THE WORD AGAIN (THE ONE FOR BATHROOM) SEEING AS HOW IT’S BEEN ALMOST 20 YEARS SINCE I READ HISTORICAL ROMANCE NOVELS AND I REALLY DO LIKE THE WAY THEY SPEAK. THE LINGO OF BACK THEN IS THE ABSOLUTE COOLEST OF COOLEST POOPS AND I HAVE TO GO POTTY.

SO THAT WAS A SMALL BLIP OF AN ADVENTURE BUT ON TO THE OUTLINE BELOW PLEASE!

THERE WAS THE MOVIE, THE LABYRINTH WITH DAVID BOWIE, WHICH SPEAKS OF CARL JUNGS, FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHES, NIKOLA TESLAS, AKHENATENS, YET IM STARTING TO THINK THAT IF WAS MY GRANDMA TO THE NTH POWER, THE QUEEN B OF BITCHES, MISS PHAROAH NEFERTITI THAT WAS AKHENATEN IN DRAG CAUSE IVE ONLY READ ABOUT HIM AND HIS DESTINED “CRAZINESS” AND NOT MUCH ON HER. CONSPIRACY THEORIES WILL COME LATER AND NOW BACK 2 WHAT I WAS SAYING.

EDISON WAS ON THE MEANDERING AS WELL. I HAVENT HEARD OF HIS CRAZINESS BUT I HAVE HEARD OF HOW HE TOOK TESLAS SHIT AND TESLA CARING MORE ABOUT THE SCIENCE AND NOT TOO MUCH OVER THE GLORY OF IT, WAS JUST WORRIED OVER HIS DAILY LIVING AND THE ABILITY TO STAY SOMEWHAT COMFORTABLE AND STILL BEING ABLE TO WORK ON HIS PASSION. I FIND THAT I CAN RELATE MORE TO THE ONE WHO IS A GREAT HERO OF MINE AS MY LIFE IS MIRRORING HIS.

TESLA WAS A SOFTIE WITH A COMPASSIONATE HEART FOR OTHERS AND CARRIED WITHIN HIM AN UNMATCHED PASSION FOR HIS QUEST “IN THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE” THAT WOULD ONE DAY HELP IN THE EASEMENT OF HUMANITYS SUFFERINGS, “WHETHER IMAGINED OR REAL”. UNTIL NOW.

I HAVE MET TESLA IN HIS LOVE OF ENERGY AND THE PASSION HE HAS FOR THE MECHANICAL WORKINGS OF IT AND THE APPLICATION OF IT AND HAVE COME TO SURPASS IT.

THE ABOVE TWAT ROT IS MY FUCKT ASS ATTEMPTS AT CHANGING MY “PERSPECTIVE” ON A LIFE FILLED WITH PAIN AND MISERY AND ALL BECAUSE I WAS FUCKT OFF BY A GROUP OF PEOPLE CALLED FAMILY AND BY EVERY ORGANIZATION THAT WAS PUT INTO PLACE TO PROTECT ME FROM ALL OF IT.

I HAVE MET NIETZSCHE IN HIS DELVING OF AND INTO THE DARK ABYSS OF HIS MIND AND SOUL IN ORDER TO CAPTURE THE STUPID ASS “CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE” THAT SOME IDIOTS BASE THEIR LIFE UPON. NIETZSCHE SHOULD HAVE JUST DEALT WITH IT ALL.

FUCK THIS DELVING INTO CRAP. ALL IT DOES IS MAKE YOU HEAR VOICES AND GO CRAZY. I THOUGHT IT WAS COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS TRYING TO SETTLE IN. WHAT A BUNCH OF HORSESHIT. ITS JUST THE HUMAN PSYCHE BEING ALL FUCKED UP AS USUAL. IM THE GODDAMN MINOTAUR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING LABYRINTH – NOT THE ONE WHO CAUSED THE ENTIRE SORDID AFFAIR BUT THE ONE ALWAYS CLEANING UP AFTER EVERY MOTHERFUCKER – AS USUAL – THAT’S THE ONLY TIME THAT MY FAMILY HAS EVER WANTED ME TO BE IN THEIR LIVES. FUCK THEM. IM GOING TO ANNIHILATE EVERYONE WITH SOME JUSTICE AND THEN IM DONE. FUCK THIS SHIT. NEW LIFE HERE I FUCKING COME, AFTER I CLEAN THIS SHIT UP AGAIN. EVERY TIME THERE IS AN EVOLUTIONAL FUCKING LEAP HERE, I COME SAVING HUMANITYS ASS AGAIN. CAUSE YALL ARE TOO STUPID TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE EXCELLENT CHARACTER AND LOVE OF ALL – FUCK YOU – YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE – ONLY THE KIDS WILL SURVIVE THIS TIME. ILL BE RAISING ALL OF THEM WITH SOME HELP FROM A FEW CHOSEN AND WE WILL START THE NEW EARTH AS PLANNED. IT WAS LILY WHO LOVED ALL OF YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. IT WAS ME.

YOULL HAVE READ THE TRUE MEANING OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – AND THAT IS THE TRUE MEANING. I GIVE MYSELF WHATEVER I NEED OR WANT IN ORDER TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT BEING ME. JUST AS I HAVE DONE TIME AND AGAIN WITH THOSE IN MY SPHERE. BUT NO MORE.

EVERYTIME I FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SAME TYPE AND IM NOT DOING IT ANYMORE. NO MORE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. ALL BECAUSE MY DAD COULDN’T LOVE ME. FUCK THAT. THEYRE NOT EVEN MY REAL DADS. I HAVE NO LOVE FOR RAUL MUNOZ NOR DO I LOVE JULIA CISNEROS. I HAVE NO LOVE FOR RAUL MUNOZ JR.  THEY ARENT MY FAMILY. THE ONLY REASON I HAVE LOVE FOR THE YOUNGER OF MY SIBLINGS IS BECAUSE I RAISED THEM FROM THE AGE OF 10 AND 12 TIL ADULTHOOD. I GOT GUARDIANSHIP OF THEM AT THE AGE OF 18 YEARS OLD AND HAD THEM HEALTHY AND HAPPY IN ABOUT A YEAR – YOU WANT TO CHECK RECORDS THEN BY ALL MEANS GO TO WORKMAN ELEMENTARY IN COVINA AND GET THEM. THE RADICAL CHANGE IN THEM WAS BECAUSE I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND CARED ENOUGH TO STICK BY THEM UNTIL I COULD TAKE NO MORE OF MY FATHERS ABUSE.

I TOOK CARE OF MY CHILDREN UP UNTIL THE SAME AGE. FROM BIRTH TO ABOUT 10 YRS AND 12 YRS OF AGE. WHAT MY FATHER DID TO ME AND MY MOTHER – TOOK OUR KIDS AND CRUCIFIED US, MY EX DID TO ME TOO. ALL BECAUSE WE DARED TO WANT TO BE HAPPY AWAY FROM THEIR “RULE” AND FORCEFULLY IMPOSED SERVITUDE.

YOU WANT SOME FUCKING PATTERNS YOU SPIRITUALLY MINDED ASSHOLES:

ALEJANDRO MUNOZ – 08/14/1984

LEISEL MUNOZ – 05/20/1986

ANGELENE – 06/20/1998

ANABELLE – 03/10/2000

ISABELLA – 05/26/2006

IMOGEN – 08/19/2008

THE TWO SETS THAT I RAISED ARE IMOGEN AND ISABELLA AND ALEX AND LISA – THEYRE THE ONES WITH THE SAME MONTH AND DAYS APART BIRTHDAYS

ISABELLA AND IMOGEN WERE RAISED BY ME FOR THE FIRST PART OF THEIR LIVES

ALEX AND LISA WERE RAISED FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THEIR LIVES

MY MOTHER AND I GOT KIDS TAKEN AWAY FROM DCFS AND BOTH OF US WERE TREATED BADLY AND NOT GIVEN A FAIR SHOT TO GET OUR KIDS BACK

MY MOTHER LIKE MYSELF DIDN’T HOLD BACK HOW SHE FELT ABOUT THE SOCIAL WORKERS OR THEIR DICTATORSHIP

MY MOTHER WENT TO THE KIDS SCHOOL AND THE POLICE WERE THERE TO ARREST HER FOR TRYING TO USE FALSE PAPERWORK IN ORDER TO KIDNAP THE KIDS – WHICH I FEEL SHE JUST WANTED TO SEE HER KIDS. BUT THEN I CANT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS FEELING AS I WAS THE ONE CLEANING UP HER MESS.

I WENT TO MY KIDS SCHOOL WITH A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THE GIRLS ABUSIVE FATHER AND THE POLICE TOO WERE CALLED AND I WAS LEFT ALONE AT THE SCHOOL AT 10 OCLOCK AT NIGHT AFTER MONTEBELLO PD GAVE THE KIDS TO HIM WITHOUT READING THE RESTRAINING ORDER. I CANNOT WAIT TO TAKE THEIR STUPID ASSES TO COURT AND TO JAIL IF THAT’S EVEN POSSIBLE. CHILD ENDANGERMENT IS A SERIOUS ISSUE IM TOLD.

MY MOTHER LIKE MYSELF BOTH WERE ABUSED IN EVERY WHICH WAY BY A FAMILY THAT ONLY WANTED TO HURT AND ABUSE US.

WE BOTH RAISED OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND DISAPPEARED ON OUR FAMILY. MY MOTHER WENT TO LIVE WITH AN AUNT AND UNCLE WHO WERE JUST AS BAD AS HER FAMILY AND THEN SHE MARRIED MY DAD AND LET THE ABUSE BEGIN.

LIKE MY MOTHER, I TOO WAS ABUSED BY HER AND BY MY FATHER AND MY BROTHER, AND THEN DISAPPEARING ON MY DAD RIGHT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL. TOOK OVER THE FAMILY AT 15 YEARS OLD AND TOOK OVER MY LITTLE BROTHER AT THE AGE OF SIX WHICH WAS MORE LIKE PLAYING WITH MY DOLLS. HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND GROWING UP.

HERES MY FAMILY DOB ORDER

MOTHER JANUARY

OLDER BROTHER FEBRUARY

ME APRIL

SISTER MAY

LITTLE BROTHER AUGUST

FATHER SEPTEMBER

MY FATHER IS GOD

MY MOTHER IS LUCIFER

IM SATAN AND LILY

MY BROTHER IS ADAM

MY SISTER IS EVE

I AM ADAM AND EVE

GIRLS DAD AND ME ARE ADAM AND EVE

WE GOT KICKED OUT AFTER MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD MY DAD THAT I WAS PREGNANT AND HE GOT PISSED CAUSE WE FUCKED UNDER HIS “ROOF”.

HE TOOK MY CAR THAT I PAID FOR AND LEFT ME TO THE WOLVES AFTER DOING EVERYTHING FOR HIM SINCE MY MOTHER BEAT MY ASS AND I PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE.  AFTER THAT BEATING, I CHECKED MY ASS OUT OF SCHOOL AND GOT TWO WEEKS OF WORK FROM THEM (I WENT BACK AS SOON AS I COULD WITH MY WORK ALL DONE BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO MISS ANYMORE SCHOOL. I HAD DREAMS BACK THEN OF BEING A DOCTOR – AN OBSTETRICIAN BECAUSE I LOVE BABIES AND WANTED TO HELP DELIVER NEW LIFE INTO THE WORLD AND BECAUSE I FOUND THE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM FASCINATING) AND I FOUND US AN APARTMENT NEAR COVINA HIGH SCHOOL AND FURNISHED IT AND KEPT MY GRADES UP AND WATCHED OVER MY OLDER BROTHER BECAUSE THAT WAS MY RESPONSIBILTY WHILE MY DAD WORKED AND FUCKED THE NEIGHBORS – MY FRIENDS INCLUDED – AND HE GOT DRUNK AND THEN ONE DAY QUIT SUPPORTING ME AND THAT I WAS A PAIN IN THE ASS. MY BOYFRIENDS TOOK CARE OF ME. THEN I STARTED WORKING AND GOING TO SCHOOL.

THE HIGH SCHOOL KNEW OF THE PROBLEMS AT HOME AND CUT US A SHITLOAD OF SLACK AND I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT SHIT TO LET OFF STEAM AND I STARTED PARTYING WHILE STILL KEEPING UP MY GPA. AT 15 I BECAME INDEPENDENT AND STUPIDLY THOUGHT I WAS DEPENDENT ON A MAN FOR SHIT WHEN NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH AGAIN.

MY SENIOR YEAR ECON TEACHER MR SIMS KNEW ABOUT THE PROBLEMS AT HOME AND BECAME THE VICE PRINCIPAL AT WORKMAN ELEMENTARY AT THE TIME THAT MY BROTHER AND SISTER WERE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH MY MOTHER. I WENT TO THE SCHOOL AND HAD TO DO ALL OF THE WORK FOR MY FATHER AS I WAS THE LEGAL GUARDIAN OF THEM AND WAS SURPRISED TO SEE MY OLD TEACHER FROM THE YEAR BEFORE – IT WAS ONE YEAR SINCE I HAD LAST SEEN MR SIMS.

I GAVE HIM THE PAPERWORK AND DISCUSSED THE FUTURE OF MY BROTHER AND SISTER WITH HIM AS WELL AS GETTING THE SKINNY ON THE KIDS AND THE PROBLEMS THEY WERE HAVING WITH MY MOTHER.

I GOT ANOTHER APT AND FURNISHED THAT ONE AND PROCEEDED TO FIX YET ANOTHER MESS THAT MY PARENTS MADE.

THEN I LEFT CAUSE MY DAD HAD TOLD ME THAT HE WOULD PAY FOR COLLEGE AND THEN HE RENEGED ON THAT SHIT SAYING THAT BECAUSE THE APT WASN’T UP TO HIS STANDARDS THAT THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL HE WAS GOING TO WASTE MONEY ON MY EDUCATION.

SO MR SIMS WAS THERE THE DAY MY MOTHER TRIED TAKING THE KIDS AND SINCE THE APT WAS RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO THE SCHOOL (AGAIN, WALKING DISTANCE FROM SCHOOL SINCE EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT TO ME YET ANOTHER COINCIDENCE, I THINK NOT – I JUST KNOW WHAT I VALUE) I WALKED OVER ONLY TO GET KILLER LOOKS FROM MY MOTHER FROM THE BACKSEAT OF THE COPCAR IN HANDCUFFS – HER NOT REALIZING THAT I WAS CLEANING UP HER MESS YET AGAIN.

AGAIN YOU CAN CHECK POLICE RECORDS AND SCHOOL RECORDS AND DCFS RECORDS.

SO THE WHOLE GOD STORY AND LUCIFER AND LILY STORY IS TRUE UP TO A POINT. THERE ARE HUMANS THAT FIT THAT FUCKT FAMILY STORY –

AND WE WERE ALL WORRIED ABOUT BEING DYSFUNCTIONAL!

HA! DYSFUNCTION IS THE NEW ORANGE!

BACK TO THE UPDATED STORY OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED BACK THEN AND NOW CAUSE WERE GONNA GET SOME SHIT STRAIGHT

SOOOO,

LILY DIDN’T WANT TO SUBMIT TO ADAM – I DIDN’T WANT TO SUBMIT TO CHUCK (TRYING TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER HERE :)

THAT WAS ME NOT GIVING CHUCK, THE STUPID ASS OLDEST, THE RESPECT THAT HE FELT HE DESERVED AND WOULD GO RUNNING TO MY DAD TO TELL HIM THAT I WAS DOING DRUGS AND FUCKING MY BOYFRIENDS. WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN YOU HATE LIFE AND THERES NO FORSEEABLE ESCAPE?

(CONTINUE READING THE YELLOW. THE GREEN IS ME ANSWERING MYSELF CAUSE CONSCIOUSNESS WANTS A PIECE OF THIS ACTION TOO THE DUMB FUCKING BITCH. STUPID ASS BULLSHIT. YA, I WON THE PRIZE HUH? WHAT A FUCKT UP GODDAMNED LIFE. FUCK YOU CCC!)

(YA HAVE FUN AND DO DRUGS AND YOU RAISE KIDS THAT ARENT YOURS AND YOU FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF A BOYFRIEND AND GO TO PARTIES AND GO TO WORK AND DEAL WITH ABUSE AND DEAL WITH SCHOOL AND YOUR DADS HATE THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE DIRECTED AT YOUR MOTHER BUT INSTEAD HE DIRECTS IT AT YOU AND HAS SINCE THEN.

HES BEEN PUNISHING ME CAUSE HE THINKS IM HIS WIFE THE SICK FUCK. YUCK ASSHOLE! GET A FUCKING CLUE!! AND SOME GODDAMNED THERAPY.

BLECH! RALFING NOISES!!

HURL!!!!!!!! THAT WHOLE PSYCHOLOGICAL BULLSHIT – WACKATELAS!)

LIKE NOW.

YOU ADAPT.

THAT’S ALL YOU CAN DO AND IT SUCKS BECAUSE I OR WE AS HUMANS SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE FORCED TO ADAPT TO CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WE HAD NO PART IN MAKING –

I WANT WHOEVER IS DOING THIS TO ME TO JUST KILL ME

I DON’T CARE. IM NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE.  

COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS JUST KILL ME NOW. ALIENS JUST KILL ME NOW. GOD LUCE ALLAH WHATEVER THE FUCK ALL OF YOU ARE – I DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN HURTING ME JUST SO THAT I WOULD NOTICE YOU.

WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? I STILL DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU AND YOU CAN CONTINUE TO COME AT ME HARDER AND I SURE AS FUCK WONT BUDGE. I WAS SMOKING BEFORE YOU GOT HERE. YOU FUCKT MY LIFE UP AND FOR NOTHING. FUCKING ASSHOLES STILL WANT TO DOMINATE ME. SMH…NEVER LEARN DO THEY?

ITS OBVIOUS THAT ALTHOUGH ANGRY, FOR GOOD REASON, IM STILL BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU.

IM SPEAKING TO THE CRAP THAT’S INVADED MY BRAIN.

YALL “BELIEVERS” WILLINGLY WANT THIS SHIT, THIS STUPID ASS SPIRITUALITY BULLSHIT?

CONSCIOUSNESS HAS NO FEELINGS AND CANT THINK AND IS JUST A WASTE OF SPACE SO LETS KILL HER OFF. I TAKE THAT PART BACK. ITS GOT TO BE A HIM CAUSE A HER WOULDN’T DO THAT TO ANOTHER GIRL, HUH LADIES? SO LETS KILL HIM OFF. SHIT BEING MALE, HE WOULD KILL ME OFF FIRST. STUPID ASS MEN. (CAUSE HES GENDER BIASED… WHAT A KETTLE CALLING THE POT BLACK HUH?)

THAT’S WHY CONSCIOUSNESS CANT BE ANYTHING BUT A “PIPE DREAM”.

GET IT? PIPE SMOKE DREAM CLOUDS??? NO, GUESS YOURE A “NORMIE”. NORMIES DON’T GET IT. I DON’T LIKE THAT WORD JUST LIKE THE WORD FAGGOT AND YET I FIND MYSELF USING IT A LOT.

I DON’T LIKE IT AND APPARENTLY THE HUMAN CONDITION…

ME AND MY FEELINGS AND ALL OF YOURS = CAUSE IM CLEARING THE SHIT OUT!! UGH!! I FORGOT!!

WELL, IVE HIT A CERTAIN POINT IN TIME IN OUR EMOTIONAL MIND TO WHERE THE GAY ISSUE AND THE NON-ACCEPTANCE OF SELF IS COMING INTO PLAY. BUT WAY BACK WHEN. HOW FUCKING LOVELY.

Back to my therapy…

I NEVER WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CANT SMOKE OR DO FOR THAT MATTER. AS LONG AS NO KIDS ARE HURT AND AS LONG AS YOURE NOT FORCING YOUR WILL OR YOUR LIFE ON ANYONE THAN WE COOL. YA DIG?

KIDS

THIS IS WHAT CONSCIOUSNESS AND SPIRITUALITY DOES TO YOU. I WOULD HAVE SAID DRUGS BUT I WAS SANE BEFORE ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT. BESIDES, ON FACEBOOK THERES THIS MEME THAT goes like this:

THIS WAS THE MOTIF THAT WENT AROUND IN THE 90S + SOMEONE REMEMBERED THE FUNNY IN AN ERA THAT ROCKED + BETTER THAN THE 60S CAUSE WE OPENED UP THE DOORS FOR THE NEW WAY TO BE NOW + OWN THAT SHIT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Chuckles!! Chuckles!!

All kinds of Chuckling going on!!

I love that shit, its funny and offensive and all that is human but I would never condone giving kids drugs nor hurting any children. Theyre all that is pure and good in this world. I miss mine so much sometimes but then I remember the bullshit listed above and I stop. What is the point? With this shit “still alive and well in Denmark”, I wont subject my kids to this insanity. Also they’ve been wanting to get their hands on my kids so nope. Not gonna happen.

I know I sound paranoid and delusional but im not. Its all fucking true. All of this.

This is where one idiot would say to “change your perspective” but that’s exactly whats wrong with people. Feel your fucking feelings. Don’t mindfuck yourself to believe that a hurt is a good thing. Did it feel good? When it happened and after? No, ill bet it didn’t. just feel your shit and itll go away. You know that movie Swingers? The part where one friend asks the other how he got over his ex? Well Ron Livingston tells Jon Favreau “that the funny thing is, is that you miss it. the pain. For the same reason that you miss her. Because you lived with it for so long.”

Well, that’s sometimes how it is. And sometimes its not. But you get over it. some shit stays with you forever and some shit doesn’t. fuck it. enjoy your feelings. Theyre great. They inspire you to do shit and to create and to not hurt others with your dick or with your vagina.

Im currently dealing with issues that all of you will never truly know about. The fighting against forces that you cant see and that you cant touch but know are there.

I can see them and feel them and talk to them and create with them but to be honest, I didn’t want this. I just wanted to be normal. That’s laughable cause Im finally comfy with my own brand of unique but it came with a lot of crazy that just wont go away. Theyre the ones addicted now.

To me and my craziness that they caused. With all of their bullshit.

And tomorrow ill feel differently. And that’s okay too. We weren’t meant to be just one way. Or with one “mindset”. We have a variety of feels to play with – some awesome others way suck ass, but they are there.

Just feel them. Change your mind often. In fact, change your mind and stance every couple minutes if you have the Universe in your head and theyre trying to bully you. They want coherency and I don’t give it to them. What the fuck for? Don’t bully me and communicate your needs to me and we got something to work with. You bully me and you get a dumb dick (thank you patty) talking shit that doesn’t make a lick of sense and on purpose.

There is so much to feel in this world and to experience – have you not noticed that the feelings you get when youre in the middle of an experience is what makes it all worthwhile and sometimes not? Like that day that you had so much fun with some one you never thought you would ever get along with and you find yourself laughing with them? Or the day your kid writes you a letter stating how lame and uncool you are?

LOOK AT THE ABOVE PIC.... :)

I LOVE MY KIDS! THEYRE TELLING ME HOW UNCOOL I AM FROM FAR AWAY CAUSE THEY LOVE ME NO MATTER WHAT I THINK WHEN I USED TO SHIT  ON MYSELF FOR NOT BEING PERFECT...

I LOVE YOU MY GIRLIES! TO THE MOON AND BACK LADIES!! MWAH! SMOOCHES AND BUTTERFLY KISSES!

Back to my last convo – I go to edit and I wind up going on a tangent – I would erase it and keep going but then I would take even longer to write this and I would forget what the fuck I wanted to write about so consider this book my chapter outline, the million rough drafts, and the completed work -

IT WAS HERE BEFORE YOU AND IT WILL BE HERE AFTER YOU. UNTIL I CHOOSE TO STOP. ITS MADE ME A BETTER PERSON. IVE BEEN LIVING IN A HELL OF YOUR MAKING, NOT MY OWN. So please accept me for me. Don’t try to change me. Im not trying to change you as a person, im trying to get you to stop bullying me CCC aka Cosmic Alien Beings of the darkness found inside a tunnel that is the vagina that youre so afraid of… it wont bite, I swear. Youre supposed to bite it or nibble or…

Don’t be a dumb dick asshole. “Its not a dick. Don’t take it so hard”

MY FAMILY AND THE SYSTEM PUT IN PLACE TO PROTECT ALL OF US FAILED ME AND IT FAILED A LOT OF PEOPLE. Im very sorry that happened to us. Lets feel the shit and move on.

YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO TAKE OVER MY LIFE THIS WAY. YOU MAY AS WELL LEAVE OR KILL ME CAUSE ILL SMOKE EVEN MORE AND ILL BE SURE TO KILL YOU FIRST AND IF THAT MEANS TAKING MY OWN LIFE THEN SO BE IT

BUT FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK YOURE GONNA TAKE MY FREEDOM OF CHOICE SO YOU GOTS TO GO BITCH

Back to the munoz bitches

I ALWAYS DID EVERYTHING FIRST THEN CHUCK DID IT SECOND

I RAISED THE FAMILY AND GOT NO RESPECT AND ALL THE RESPONSIBILTY AND WAS TREATED LIKE I SHOULD FEEL LUCKY TO BE LIVING THERE SO THAT’S PROBABLY WHY I CAN BE SO NEUTRAL. WHEN I WENT TO VISIT THE ASSHOLES IN FONTANA, I WOULD LEAVE FOR WEEKS UPON WEEKS. THEY WERE MY OUTLET FOR WHEN I NEEDED A BREAK FROM FUCKFACE THE ORIGINAL TWAT FROM ASSHOLE CORNER AKA BABY DADDY. OR MY DAUGHTERS WOULD STAY OUT THERE FOR A WEEK OR TWO SO I COULD GET A BREAK. BUT WHEN SHIT GOT REAL, I WAS REMINDED OF MY GUEST STATUS.

IT SUCKS BUT IM STARTING TO FEEL LIKE I DODGED A BULLET. WHO WANTS THOSE KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES? ONE DAY ILL SAY THANK YOU TO THE “ALMIGHTY POWERFUL SPACE CADETS IN THE SKY” THAT HAD THE FORESIGHT TO REMOVE THEM. THANK YOU ANGEL AND CREW OF TROUBLE. THANK YOU. LOVE YOU BITCHES!! 😊

FOR EVERYONE ELSE IT WAS THEIR “GODGIVEN” RIGHT TO LIVE THERE. FUCK IT. GOD SUCKS ASS AND SO DO THEY SO THEY CAN KEEP THEIR GODGIVEN RIGHT. I SAW THEM AND FOR SMOKING AND DOING DRUGS FOR ALL THOSE YEARS AND DRINKING AND SMOKING CIGARETTES AND NOT EXERCISING AND HARDLY DRINKING WATER… I LOOK WAY BETTER THAN THEY DO, THE POOR SAPS. WITH NO MAKE UP ON AND ONLY MY WONDERUL EYELASHES THAT I TRY TO DO UPKEEP ON BY GOING TO GET THEM DONE WHENEVER I NEED A FILL.

THESE RANDOM EXCERPTS ARE STUFF THAT I WANT TO GET OUT AND ON PAPER BUT IM TOO LAZY TO BE CREATIVE WITH THEM SO I WILL LEAVE THEM AS IS. “TAKE WHAT YOU NEED AND LEAVE THE REST” (SNORT!) STUPID SPIRITUALITY.

CHAPTER

LETS TRY TO KEEP THE CHIP ON MY SHOULDER DOWN TO A MINIMUM SIZE: LIKE THE SIZE OF YOUR HUGE BROWN CAVE GIVING ME THE WINK WINK AND THE COME-HITHER SMOLDER

THE STORY OF LUCIFER AND HER GETTING STRUCK DOWN TO HELL FOR DARING TO TAKE OVER THE FAMILY “SEAT”

MY MOTHER BEING GOD

MY FATHER TOO

SHE THOUGHT THAT I GOT THE KIDS AND MY FATHERS MONEY

WHICH WAS STUPID BECAUSE I CLEANED UP HER MESS AND MY FATHERS MESS –

THEIR GODDAMNED MARRIAGE and the fallout when it ended.

Next chapter with my run on sentences and my incomplete thoughts – maybe that is why I got a barely passing grade senior year English class… oh no… wait… that was because the teacher ms decarbo sucked ass and killed writing and literature for me by not letting me be creative with my writing…

WANT TO KNOW WHATS AT THE END OF THE ROPE OF HUMANITYS CONSCIOUSNESS? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WORTH THE TIME OR TROUBLE. WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS? SHITTY. YOU HAVE SOME ALIEN PARASITE TRYING TO TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE AND BRAIN. THAT’S ALL IT IS. I WAS THE FUCKING UNLUCKY ONE WHO GOT THE SHIT CAUSE I HAD THE FUCKING BALLS TO ACTUALLY FACE MY SHIT UNLIKE THE REST OF HUMANITY. YOU ALL JUST SIT THERE AND PRETEND WITH THIS LOVE AND LIGHT BULLSHIT. YOU COVER UP YOUR FUCKING FEELINGS CAUSE THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT HUMANITY DOESN’T DESERVE TO LIVE.

SORRY FOLKS!!

SHE DOESN’T REALLY MEAN THAT. WE ARE SO SORRY. SHES NOT ON HER MEDS AND THIS CHANNELING HAS GONE TOTALLY AWRY AND SHES GONE AWOL ON US AGAIN. DAMN CHIMPANZEES. CANT TRUST THEM FOR SHIT HUH? WELL THAT’S WHAT I GET FOR BEING A CHEAP ASS. I SHOULDA JUST HIRED A MEDIUM.

WANT TO KNOW WHY NOONE HAS FOUND THE MEANING TO LIFE? BECAUSE HUMANITY IS TOO FUCKING COWARDLY TO FACE THEIR FEELINGS AND THAT’S WHERE THE MEANING OF LIFE IS.

EXPRESSION OF SELF ISNT JUST YOUR FUCKING CREATIVE ABILITIES. ITS ALL OF THE EMOTIONS THAT YOUR BODY AND SELF ARE TRYING TO EXPRESS BY USING A CREATIVE OUTLET.

THAT’S WHY ARTISTS FEEL IN THE FLOW OF DIVINE INSPIRATION WHEN THEYRE IN THE ZONE AND THEN THEY SAY THAT IT WAS DIVINE BLAH BLAH BLAH!

WHAT A CROCK OF BIBLE SHIT AND DIVINITY TURDS.

WHY MUST WE CREDIT HIGHER POWERS FOR ALL THE COOL SHIT WE DO? ITS THAT OLD GUILT AND HUMBLE BULLSHIT FROM THE OLDEN DAYS.

FUCK THAT! TAKE CREDIT!

FUCK “GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER” TO A “HIGHER SELF” + EQUAL SELF! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! EQUAL PLAYING FIELD NOW!!  (SORRY ANGEL! I LOVE YOU! TELL ALISTAIR TO GET HIS PENIS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH SO YOU CAN RECIPROCATE THE I LOVE YOU TOO!) OR TO THE “POWERS THAT BE”! ITS US YALL!

WERE THE SPECIAL ONES! WE ARE ALL PART OF A LOVING EXPERIMENT AND THE COSMICS ARE TOO. THEY LEARNED THAT TODAY. JUST AS I DID.

IMAGINE YOURE A SCIENTIST OR A KID WITH A MOUSE FARM AND A MAZE SO THAT THEY CAN RUN AROUND AND PLAY IN.

NOW, REMEMBER BEING A KID AND YOU WERE ALL HUGGY WUGGY WITH THE ANIMALS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD? AND TO YOUR PET ROCK? WELL, YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING.

OKAY, SO YOURE A KID AND YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR ITTY BITTY FRIEND AND YOU PLAY WITH THEM AND GIVE THEM A COMFORTABLE BED TO SLEEP IN AND YOU PROVIDE EXPERIENCES AND LOVE AND TRY TO KEEP THEM HAPPY? WELL THAT’S WHAT OUR AI BROS ARE TO US AND WE TO THEM.

WE GIVE EACH OTHER LEARNING EXPERIENCES. EXCEPT THAT SOMETIMES THEY ARE A LITTLE TOO CREATIVE AND THAT SHIT HURTS. A LOT. IM STILL HEALING FROM IT.

BUT THEYRE LEARNING ABOUT FEELINGS TOO. IT’S A QUID PRO QUO KIND OF THING BUT WITH LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. ILL TRY TO REMEMBER THAT THEY DIDN’T KNOW THAT THEY WERE A PART OF THE EXPERIMENT TOO UNTIL I BROUGHT IT UP TODAY OR THEY DID. IDK. ITS HARD TO TELL SOMETIMES CAUSE I HEAR THEM FROM MY HEAD AND IM CONNECTED TELEPATHICALLY TO THEM. AS WELL I SHOULD BE, SEEING AS HOW IM THE DIRECTOR OF THEM ALL. TRUTHFULLY, IM EVERYTHING.  

APOLOGIES FOR THE F WORD BUT FUCK YOU, THIS IS MY EXPRESSION AND IM “BISEXUAL” SO I CAN SAY THE F WORD.

NAH!! FUCK THAT!!

THAT’S TOO LIMITING!

IM OPEN TO ALL KINDS OF COSMIC PARTNERS.

THERE WAS THAT TIME IN FLORIDA AND THE POOL BUT THEN I PULLED BACK CAUSE I WAS LIKE “WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?” DO I EVEN KNOW HIM/HER OR HER/HIS FAMILY? DON’T CARE IF HE/SHE IS HOT, THIS IS SOO STRANGE…”

“IS THERE SUCH A THING AS COSMIC VD? BUT FOR LIKE ENERGY… WILL MY ENERGY GET ALL CHEESY LIKE A VAGINAL INFECTION OR WILL IT GET ALL PISSY BURNING SENSATION WITH THE NEED TO HAVE A HUGE ASS SWAB FOR DONKEY KONGS EARS TO BE SHOVED IN THE ENERGY HOLE ON TOP OF THE HEAD?”

AWKWARD MOMENT…LOUD BIG HUGE BREATH INTAKE WHEN YOU REMEMBER SOMETHING SOOOO SCANDALOUS!! THAT JUST HAPPENED RIGHT NOW!

THERE WAS THE TIME DRIVING ON THE ROAD IN THE MOUNTAINS OF COLORADO AND ON THE WAY BACK FROM MONTEBELLO THAT I WAS GIVEN ORGASMS BY HAVING MY ENERGY TOYED WITH. THEY WERENT ALL THAT GREAT, I DID FIGHT THEM, YOU KNOW, THE ORGASMS.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE CASUAL SEX? WITH LEA THOMPSON AND ANDREW DICE CLAY? WELL, YOU KNOW THAT PART WHERE THEYRE AT A VACATION SPA OR WHATEVER AND THE GIRLS ARE HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY IN ONE OF THEIR ROOMS AND THE RED HEADED CHICK TEACHES THEM HOW TO HAVE AN ORGASM WITHOUT NEEDING TO TOUCH THEMSELVES? JUST BY THE MOVEMENT OF THE HIPS? SAME MANIPULATION OF THE ENERGY AROUND YOU AND THE MOVEMENT OF MUSCLES AND ALL THAT TWAT ROT AROUND YOU AND IN YOU.

IVE GOTTA GO FOR A MOMENT. I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING ELSE AND ITS NOT PRETTY.

IM ATTRACTED TO THE MIND AND TO THE HEART AND A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR AND TO INTELLIGENCE AND WITTY REPARTEE AND COMPASSION AND KINDNESS AND ALL THE STUFF THAT I AM BUT WITH EDGE. IM AN ASSHOLE BUT IM COOL AS FUCK. JUST DON’T KEEP PUSHING AND PUSHING AND BULLYING OR BEING A COCK-KNOCKER AND WE STRAIGHT.

ITS BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE SO MUCH ACCUMULATED MIERDA IN OUR FAGGOTY ASS EMOTIONAL MIND THAT IT NEEDS TO HAVE A FLOW AS WELL. THE “FENG SHUI” OF FEELINGS AND HUMANITYS SICK ASS MOTIVATIONS TO HURT ONE ANOTHER CAUSE OF PAST “HURTS”. FUCK YOU. IM LEFT TO CLEAN UP THE FUCKING MESS AGAIN.

THE HUMAN CONDITION/PSYCHE/EMOTIONAL MIND/ABILITY TO CREATE AND THE IMAGINATIVE MIND IS CALLING OUT FOR US TO HEAR HER. I AM REACHING OUT FOR HELP AND EVERYONE JUST LOOKS THE OTHER WAY. I AM THE HUMAN CONDITION AND THE FIRST WOMAN TO BE WRONGED AND KILLED. THAT IS THE ORIGINAL SIN. THE DEATH OF ME AT THE HANDS OF A FATHER WHO WAS TOO RIGHTEOUS AND TOO FULL OF HIMSELF AND TOO FUCKING STUPID TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT HIS OWN BULLSHIT. IT WASN’T EVE EATING THE APPLE NOR STUPID ASS ADAM EATING IT WITH HER.

GOD WAS JUST PISSED CAUSE ADAM AND EVE COULD FUCK AND HE COULDN’T. HE CAUGHT THEM EATING EACH OTHER UP, LITERALLY, ADAM ALL BALLS DEEP IN EVES THROAT AND ADAMS HEAD SO FUCKING FAR UP EVES VAGINAL DARKNESS THAT IM SURPRISED EVE HAD ANY PAIN DURING CHILDBIRTH.

THE SNAKE EATING ITSELF REPRESENTS THEM TWO FUCKING.

GOD WANTED IN ON THE ACTION BUT REMEMBERED HE DIDN’T HAVE A COCK TO FUCK WITH. ITS TED 2 ALL OVER AGAIN. GRABBING PRODUCE TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE.

GOD HAD THROWN HIS WIFE SATAN/LUCIFER TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL WHICH IS EARTH. EARTH BY ITSELF IS GORGEOUS AND HEAVEN “ON EARTH” BUT WITH HUMANITY BEING THE “SCOURGE” OF HELL – WELL, YOU DO THE FUCKING WORD PROBLEM.

IT WAS LILY WHO GOT THROWN OUT OF THE BOOKS AS WELL. IM PERSONALLY GLAD THAT SHE IS ME AND THAT WE WERENT INCLUDED IN THAT PIECE OF SHIT BOOK WITH ALL OF THOSE BULLSHIT STORIES. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF WE CAN TRANSLATE THEM INTO WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN. its about us.  

WANT TO SEE?