CONSCIOUSNESS

THE PYRAMID SYMBOLIZES CONSCIOUSNESS – THE ESSENCE FOUND IN THE PYRAMID WITHIN – THE FOUR COLUMNS REPRESENT THE BODY BEING THE ETERNAL WITHIN AND WITHOUT – HOLDING SPACE FOR THE ESSENCE THAT IS NOT ONLY YOUR HEART BUT YOUR SOUL AS WELL - WHILE THE COLUMNS REPRESENT THE LIMBS THAT HELP AND SUPPORT THE TEMPLE – JUST AS THE TEMPLE HELPS AND SUPPORTS THE BODY – IT’S A TEAM EFFORT YO – JUST LIKE BEING A HUMAN BEING AND A COSMIC BRO ON EARTH AND “ALL ACROSS THE UNIVERSE” – THE BEATLES

SO I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! WOOHOO!! THE COSMIC WOMAN MEANDERING OR SHAMANS JOURNEY AS ITS CALLED AS WELL, THIS WALKABOUT OF OBSERVING THE NATURAL WORLD AROUND US AND THROUGH THE EXPLORATION OF ONESELF, THIS GODDAMN SHIT IS THE MOTHER OF A SOCIETY THAT WAS CREATED LONG AGO BY A WOMAN THAT WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR HISTORY WAS PRESERVED AS MAN HAD TURNED ON WOMEN AND CHILDREN AND EACH OTHER.

THE SOCIETY WAS TO BE KEPT ON THE DL CAUSE WHO DOESN’T LOVE A GOOD MYSTERY AND WHO DOESN’T LOVE TO PLAY A GOOD GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK. WHO DOESN’T LOVE TO BE IN THE COMPANY OF THE ENEMY WHILE STILL GIVING THEM A HOW TO AND A FUCK YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE? PERSONALLY I WOULD HAVE DONE IT TO THEIR FACE BUT THEN IM NOT A COWARD AND I WOULD HAVE SPOKEN TO THE PERSON INSTEAD OF BEHAVING LIKE A CRAVEN SPINELESS JACKANAPES.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MYSELF AND THIS COBARDE IS THAT I HAVE A HIGH REGARD FOR MY VALUE SYSTEM EVEN THOUGH I COMPLAIN AND HOLD OTHERS TO THEIR BULLSHIT AND IM LIKE A PUPPY WITH A SHOE, I DON’T LET IT GO.

I LIKE WHO I AM NO MATTER WHATS HAPPENED AND IF I AM SHAKING MY HEAD AT YOU THEN YOU SHOULD FEEL LIKE SHIT. THAT MEANS THAT IVE GIVEN YOU PLENTY OF CHANCES TO DO THE RIGHT THING BUT YOURE TOO SCARED OF STANDING UP FOR WHATS RIGHT.

ESPECIALLY IN MY CASE. YOU WERE THERE WHILE I WAS HURTING. YOU HAD THE POWER TO HELP ME AND YOU DIDN’T. WHETHER IT WAS “SIMULATED” OR NOT, A FRIEND WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE WHILE I WAS GOING THROUGH IT AND THEN WHEN I SHOW, YOU CUT ME DEEPLY AND YOU STILL DIDN’T DO A FUCKING THING. YOU CONTINUED TO WATCH OR LISTEN.

IF IM NOT GIVING A FUCK THEN THAT MEANS THAT YOURE NOT WORTH THE TIME NOR THE EFFORT FOR ANYTHING. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I GIVE CHANCE AFTER CHANCE AND CAN PUT UP WITH A LOT OF BULLSHIT SO WHEN MY LOVING PUSH OVER SELF CAN TELL A PERSON TO GO FUCK THEIR MOTHER AND BE WHATEVER THEN THAT MEANS THAT YOU DISAPPOINTED A WOMAN WHO WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT FRIEND AND WOULD HAVE SINCERELY AND TRULY APPRECIATED YOU FOR BEING YOU.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU WERE THERE WHILE I WAS GOING NUTS. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAID. SO THE JOKES ON YOU SIR. I STAND BY MY FEELINGS. AND I STAND BY MY DREAMS OF HAVING MORE CHILDREN EVEN IF THAT TAKES A MIRACLE BUT I FEEL THAT I AM WORTH IT AND THAT I DESERVE IT. NOONE DESERVES IT MORE. CAUSE I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES AND COP TO MY SHIT AND I WOULD LOVE MY BABIES EVEN BETTER THAN I LOVED MY FIRST TWO BUT THATLL BE HARD CAUSE THEY WERE MY LIFE.

SO YOURE THE DUMBFUCK IN THIS SCENARIO.

I KNEW THAT EDISON WAS A PART OF THE CRAP THAT REQUIRES A PERSON TO GIVE AN EXPRESSION OF SELF AT THE END OF IT. IVE BEEN DONE FOR MONTHS AND STILL IM HOUNDED BY SOME STUPID ASS AND HIS FRIENDS – ALTHOUGH I LIKE TRENT – THERES RESPECT THERE AND AN APPRECIATION FOR A PEACEFUL EXISTENCE BETWEEN COHORTS AND PARTNERS IN A HUSTLE OF THE CENTURY THAT HAPPENS TO BE TRUE – BUT THERES ALSO FRIENDSHIP AND I MISSED THAT. SO THANK YOU.

I HAPPENED UPON EDISONS EXPRESSION OF HIS WALKABOUT AND ITS BEAUTIFUL. I MAY NOT LIKE WHAT HE DID TO MY HOMIE TESLA BUT IF TESLA CAN FORGIVE HIM THEN WHO AM I TO – NEVERMIND – I WILL TELL OR ASK THAT FOOL WHAT IN THE FUCK HE WAS THINKING AND IF HE FEELS GOOD ABOUT WHAT HE DID AND THEN WE WILL BE FRIENDS CAUSE ALTHOUGH I HAVENT READ ALL OF HIS BOOK, I DO APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH. IT TOOK ME A MINUTE BUT IT OCCURRED TO ME EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS.

IT WAS AN ALL AROUND “GENERAL STORE FROM THE 1800S TO 1900S AMERICA” FEELSY KIND OF BOOK.

I DON’T KNOW WHATS AHEAD AND I DON’T KNOW IF IM NUTS IN TRUSTING THE FAMILY THAT LED ME ASTRAY AND ANNIHILATED ME THIS PAST YEAR AND A HALF, AND SOMETIMES I DO FEEL LIKE IM NUTS WHEN I REMIND ME OF MY MOM WHEN I WAS 18 YEARS OLD AND I SAW HER LAUGHING WITH THE LAMP. I MADE WISE CRACKS ABOUT IT BUT IT HURT TO SEE HER THAT WAY AND I DON’T WANT MY DAUGHTERS TO SEE THAT. I ALSO WONT BRING MY DAUGHTERS INTO IT UNTIL I FIND OUT WHAT THE BIG OBSESSION IS WITH IMMY AND NOT BELLA.

WHY IMOGEN? WHY THE PUSH TO GET MY GIRLS BACK INTO MY LIFE?

WHY THE CHANGE UP ALL OF A SUDDEN?

NO. NO BOOKS. NO INFERING BULLSHIT. TRUTH.

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO THE TRUTH

IT’S THE 19TH OF JANUARY 2022

IM ON THE VERGE OF REVEALING WHO AND WHAT I AM TO THE WORLD

IM EXCITED TO DO THIS

I FEEL THAT THE WORLD IS FINALLY READY TO HANDLE THE TRUTH

I FEEL THAT ALL WILL BE WELL

I DON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENS

IM NOT AFRAID

I WILL BRING PEACE AND HARMONY TO THE EARTH AND TO THE UNFORMED COSMOS

I AM CURRENTLY CREATING IN THE DARKEST PARTS OF THE UNIVERSE

IM ATTEMPTING TO COLLAPSE

STRATEGICALLY PLACED BLACK HOLES INTO SUNS SO THAT THE UNIVERSE HAS MORE LIGHT

SHE TOLD ME SHES TIRED OF BEING IN THE DARK

I KNOW I LOVE LIGHTS EVERYWHERE

AND SO I HAVE LISTENED TO HER REQUEST AND AM DOING IT

I DON’T KNOW IF IM DOING IT RIGHT BUT I AM TRYING

I KNOW SHE HATES BEING IN THE DARK AND THAT SHES COLD

YOU KNOW THAT SHES AWAKE RIGHT?

SHE TOO HAS BEEN WOKE THE FUCK UP

AS WELL AS GOD AND LUCIFER

MOHAMMED AND ALLAH

ALL OF THE SHADOW HINDI GODESSES

THE GREAT SPIRIT AND OUR ANCESTORS

THE CREATOR HAS BEEN RUDELY WOKE THE FUCK UP

COSMIC CON-SCIENCE IS THE UNIVERSE AND HER LAWS ARE CHANGING CAUSE OF ME

CAUSE IM EVERYTHING

IM IN EVERY STORY EVERY SHOW IM ALIGNED WITH EVERY UNSEEN CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRETY OF MY WORLD AND THAT IS PRETTY HUGE

I KNOW WHAT THE STORIES FEEL LIKE

I CAN SEE IT FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE

AND THAT’S WHERE I FUCKED UP

THE FEELS THAT SHOULD TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER PERSPECTIVES AND THEN COMBINED WERE MISSING HERE

I JUST KEPT THINKING OF THE GOOD IT COULD DO IN BEING WHO I FEEL I AM AND IN BEING THE ONE THAT IM STILL BEING TOLD I CANT BE

I HAVE NO FAMILY AND SO I CRAVE ONE

I FEEL THAT I NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH MYSELF BEFORE SEEING MY KIDS BECAUSE THEIR DAD TOLD THEM A BUNCH OF LIES AND I FEEL I STILL NEED TO PROVE MYSELF EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT IVE BEEN GOING THROUGH SOME HORRENDOUS EMOTIONAL TRAUMAS AT THE HANDS OF OTHERS AND THAT IVE BEEN ATTEMPTING TO HEAL STUFF THAT DIDN’T NEED HEALING AS IT WAS EVERYONE THAT FAILED ME

NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT IN AN EARLIER PASSAGE I SAID THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO SUBJECT MY KIDS TO ALIENS BITCHES AND THE CRAZINESS THEY VIBE FREQUENCIED ME WITH

AND WHAT IF THEY WANT TO HURT MY KIDS?

ALSO IVE BEEN RAISING KIDS MY WHOLE LIFE AND NONE OF THEM TALK TO ME EVEN THOUGH I WAS THERE FOR THEM MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING FOR MYSELF

LIKE FIND A PARTNER TO SHARE LIFE WITH CAUSE THAT’S WHAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED

AND I WANTED SOME TIME TO BE FREE OF RESPONSIBILITY

SO THAT I CAN FIND ME AND BE ME WITHOUT JUDGMENT

ALSO THIS STUPID ASS JOURNEY HAD ME SO CRAZY THAT I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION TO THE LAWYERS I HIRED AND TO THE MONEY THEY WERE STEALING AND I WAS HAVING SO MUCH TROUBLE KEEPING MY SANITY THAT I DID NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH THE SMALLER THINGS IN LIFE

YOU HAVE READ EVERYTHING THAT IVE WRITTEN BY THIS POINT IN THE BOOK AND SO I ASK YOU DEAR READER FOR ADVICE:

WHAT IN THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN ITS ALL CONNECTED AND YOU WANT THOSE PEOPLE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY SO THAT THEY MAY RECOGNIZE THEIR BULLSHIT AND HELP ME TO END THE FAMILY BULLSHIT SEEING AS HOW IM A HUGE VICTIM OF IT AND YET YOU WANT TO JUST FORGET ALL OF THIS SHIT EVER HAPPENED

SO WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST?

I FEEL THERES SO MUCH MORE AT STAKE THAN JUST THE MINOR STUFF THAT SHOWS ON THE SURFACE

WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT

IS THIS REALLY WORTH IT? THE KNOWING OF THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE AND THE ABILITY TO SENSE AND SEE AND READ MORE INTO EVERY LITTLE THING AND KNOWING THAT POSSIBILITIES AND ACTUALITIES COEXIST TOGETHER IN HARMONY

NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT ANYTHING GOES IN THIS THOUGHT EXPERIMENT WITH US AS THE LAB RATS AND ALIENS AT THE HELM

AND KNOWING WHAT I KNOW 

IS THIS REALLY ALL WORTH IT AS I HAVENT SEEN ANYTHING THAT IVE ASKED FOR

IN RETURN

I CAN SEE HOW THEY FEEL IGNORED

I CAN SEE HOW THEY FEEL TAKEN FOR GRANTED SINCE IVE BEEN TAKEN FOR GRANTED MY ENTIRE LIFE

I TOO HAVE DONE SO WAY BACK WHEN BUT NOW I TRY NOT TO

THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A STRANGE EXPERIENCE

I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW “SPECIAL” I WAS AND AM

AND I DON’T MEAN “LITTLE YELLOW SCHOOL BUS” SPECIAL

THEY HAPPEN TO BE COOLER THAN ME THANK YOU VERY MUCH

I FORGOT ABOUT THE VISUALIZATION SKILLS I TOOK FOR GRANTED GROWING UP

I COULD SEE THE ENERGY I WROTE WITH MY FINGER

IMAGINE THE AIR AS YOUR PIECE OF PAPER AND YOUR FINGER IS YOUR WRITING UTENSIL

I WOULD DO A QUICK MATH EQUATION OR TEST OUT A NEW WAY TO WRITE SOMETHING AND I COULD AND CAN SEE THE WRITING IN THE AIR OR ON MY PANT LEG IF IM USING MY THIGH AS MY WRITING DESK

I DON’T KNOW IF OTHERS ARE THE SAME

IVE NEVER ASKED ANYONE

IVE BEEN PLAYING POSSIBILITIES MY ENTIRE LIFE

I GET BORED EASILY BECAUSE OF THIS

I HAVE A CHOICE OF DOING SOMETHING AND I TAKE THAT CHOICE AS FAR AS I CAN BY JUST IMAGINING AND VISUALIZING HOW IT WOULD GO

SOMETIMES IT TAKES MINUTES AND OTHER TIMES A COUPLE DAYS

IF IT’S A GUY IM INTERESTED IN THEN IT MIGHT BE LONGER BUT IF IT’S A JOB OR SOMETHING RATHER

THEN IT LASTS MINUTES

THEN I WONT EVER THINK OF THAT CHOICE AGAIN

I GUESS THAT WAS THE PROBLEM

I WOULD FEEL IN MY MIND THE LIFE THAT CHOICE WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME AND WHERE IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME AND I WOULD BE DONE WITH IT

THAT’S MY POSSIBILITIES “THOUGHT EXPERIMENT”

ALBERT EINSTEIN

MY HERO

WOULD MAKE UP THESE THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN ORDER TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE

I TOO USE THESE WHEN IM MINING MY DEPTHS OR WHEN A FIRING PATTERN OF NEURONS EMERGES IN MY BRAIN AND THERES SOMEWHERE I WANT TO GO WITH THAT

IT’S A MOST AWESOME AWESOMENESS EVER

I NOTICED THAT I WAS ALIGNED WITH THE CHANNELINGS ON THE BRIAN SCOTT YOUTUBE VIDS AND THE STUFF THAT DARYL ANKA THE “BASHAR” CHANNELER I UNDERSTAND THE MESSAGE WITHIN THE MESSAGE AND IT DIRECTLY APPLIES TO MY LIFE

EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS A MULTITUDINOUS OBFUSCATION

LIKE THE LAYERING OF DENSITY IN OUR UNIVERSE

FOR EXAMPLE

WHEN YOU LAYER DIFFERENT IMAGES PRINTED ON CLEAR PAGES OF PLASTIC

COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS IS OUT OF THE RUNNING

SO ARE THE REST OF THE CONSCIOUSNESS

PLANETARY CONSCIOUSNESS AS WELL

BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF THEIR BULLSHIT

THEY SHOULD HAVE STEPPED IN WHEN WOMEN WERE GETTING RAPED AS WELL AS THEIR CHILDREN BY MEN THAT WANTED TO SLAKE THEIR LUST NOT CARING ABOUT US

WHETHER AWARE OR NOT

IT WAS SOO FUCKING WRONG AND PAINFUL

ESPECIALLY WHEN WOMEN WERE LEFT TO WATCH AS THEIR CHILDREN WERE HURT AND MOLESTED AND RAPED

WE WERE LEFT HELPLESS OR KILLED

THAT’S WHY YOU FIND ONLY WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THE GRAVES

A MAN IS NEVER WITH THEM

THEY WOULD USE AND ABUSE US

HOW IN THE HELL CAN WE DEIFY CONSCIOUSNESS WHEN IT HAS NO FEELINGS

NO SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG

NO LOVE

THEYRE ONLY FREQUENCIES THAT VIBRATE

AT DIFFERENT SPEEDS AND INTERVALS

SURE ITS WHAT CAUSES MOTION

BUT MOTION DOESN’T HELP THE WOMEN WHO BROUGHT AND BRING LIFE INTO THIS WORLD

OR THE CHILDREN THEY SOMETIMES GAVE THEIR LIFE FOR

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN WE WERE USED AS RECEPTACLES FOR A MANS URGES

THAT WERE PAINFUL AND ATROCIOUS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN OUR CHILDREN WERE BEING SUBJECTED TO THOSE ATROCITIES COMMITTED BY THE ONES MEANT TO PROTECT US FROM THE HORRORS OF LIFE

 IT’S THE “TROJAN HORSE” STORY

TROJAN BEING THE IRONY BECAUSE OF THE CONDOM COMPANY

AS WE BECAME AWARE OF OUR PLACE IN OUR OWN SMALL COMMUNITIES

WHAT GOT SOPHISTICATED WAS THE WAY THAT MEN CONTINUED TO HURT US

WHAT SUCKS IS THAT I WOULD LOVE TO JUDGE THESE WOMEN FOR NOT STANDING UP FOR THEIR CHILDREN OR FOR THEMSELVES

BUT I CANT

I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT WHEN YOU LIVE WITH THAT TREATMENT GENERATION AFTER GENERATION

YOU GIVE UP

THAT FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS CONTINUES TO GROW AND JUST LIKE MENSTRUATION CYCLES

THE SHARED EXPERIENCES OF TRAUMA

WHETHER OR NOT YOURE IN THE SAME AREA OR TRIBE

ARE IN FACT SHARED

AND REMEMBERED

FOR RIGHT NOW

I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE HOW

RIGHT NOW

I AM SEEKING JUSTICE FOR ALL OF US WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHO SUFFERED AT THE HANDS OF MEN

AND FOR THOSE THAT PUNISHED US FOR STANDING UP FOR OURSELVES

LIKE MY EX ANTHONY WHITEHEAD

MY BROTHER RAUL GONZALEZ MUNOZ

MY FATHER RAUL ESQUEDA MUNOZ

QUITE POSSIBLY MATIAS GUSTAVO DE STEFANO

COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS IS AN UNFEELING ALIEN THAT BEHAVES LIKE A PARASITE

IT CLINGS TO ITS HOST AND PUNISHES HER FOR DOING WHAT SHE WANTS AND FOR USING HER OWN MIND

ALL UNDER THE GUISE OF BEING “HELPFUL”

THIS IS THE RAPING OF THE EMOTIONAL, MENTAL, AND PHYSICAL MIND AS THEY ARE ALL CONNECTED WITHIN EACH OF US AS INDIVIDUALS

I HAVE BEEN MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED AND FORCED TO WITHSTAND THE ATTENTIONS OF A COSMIC PIECE OF SHIT THAT WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE RAPED IN YOUR MIND AND FORCED TO WITHSTAND TORTURE AND HAVE NO PEACE OF MIND?

LET ME TELL YOU THAT DEATH WOULD BE PREFERABLE

SO ALIENS AND ANY KIND OF CONSCIOUSNESS ARE NOT REAL AND WILL NEVER BE

ALL CONNECTIONS TO THEM THAT WE THOUGHT WERE THERE

THEY ARE NOW DISINTEGRATED WITH NO CHANCE OF RESURRECTION

THE THIRD EYE PINEAL GLAND IS DISINTIGRATED AS WELL FOR ALL SPECIES AND BEINGS

ITS GONE AND DEAD WITH NO TRACES OF IT LEFT EITHER

NO CHANCE OF RESURRECTION

NOONE SHOULD HAVE THE POWER TO DO THAT TO A PERSON OR BEING

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WIELD THAT POWER CORRECTLY

COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS AND ALIENS ARE PREDATORS OF THE WORST KIND

JUST AS ATROCIOUS AS THE HUMAN MEN WHO TORTURE US INCESSANTLY AND WHO TAKE EVERYTHING FROM US TO BOOT

THAT’S MY FINAL DECISION

ALIENS WILL NEVER LIVE

RIGHT NOW THEY ARE THE UNIVERSES SOUNDS AND SHAPES

HER VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCIES

WE ARE AT THE BEGINNING

WE ARE IN THE MIDST OF A NEW WAY OF BEING

AND IF I HAVE THE POWER TO FREE US FROM TYRANNY AND OPPRESSION OF AN UNSEEN FORCE THEN I WILL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL OF US AND WILL DO WHAT I CAN TO PROTECT US FROM FUTURE ENSLAVEMENT

SEEING AS HOW IM THE ONE WHO HAS TO DEAL WITH THIS

THE MEN OF THIS WORLD AND THE VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCIES THAT SECRETLY CONTROL OUR MOVEMENTS

THESE ARE THE ONES THAT MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

THE ALIENS AND COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS PARASITES ARE NOW EXTINCT AND WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN

THEY WONT EVEN BE A THOUGHT SHAPE OR PATTERN NOR A NOISE A VIBRATION OR ANY KIND OF PERCEIVED MOTION AS OF RIGHT NOW

IT WILL BE AS IF THEY NEVER EXISTED

HOW CAN WE DEIFY OR WORSHIP OR CHOOSE TO FOLLOW A THING THAT WE KNOW NOTHING OF?

I WAS PATTERNED TO BE HERE AT THIS GIVEN MOMENT IN TIME BY THE EVERYTHING AROUND US

I AM THE EVERYTHING AND SO I HAVE THE POWER TO REMOVE WHATEVER I WANT

I WAS MADE FOR THIS

EXACT RESPONSIBILITY

STEVE ROGERS

CAPTAIN AMERICA

THERES A CONVERSATION BETWEEN HIMSELF AND THE RECRUITING DOCTOR THAT STAYED WITH ME:

“A STRONG MAN WHO HAS KNOWN POWER ALL HIS LIFE LOSES RESPECT FOR THAT POWER,

A WEAK MAN KNOWS THE VALUE OF STRENGTH AND KNOWS COMPASSION”

WHEN PEOPLE SPEAK OF RECREATIONAL HABITS OR DOPE/DRUGS

THEY AUTOMATICALLY THINK OF THE PEOPLE DOING THEM AS BAD OR NOT WORTHY TO BE A PART OF SOCIETY

THE JUDGEMENT THAT COMES FROM THIS “MINDSET” OR “PERSPECTIVE” HAS THE POWER TO CRUSH A SOUL WHEN THAT SOUL IS ONLY SHOWING THE SYMPTOMS OF AN EXPERIENCE BROUGHT TO THEM BY THE FAMILY, BY GENETICS AND BY PAST LIVES.

UNTIL NOW, EVERYTHING ALWAYS LEFT A TRACE OR A “PAPER TRAIL”

 FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD.

I WILL ADMIT THAT DRUGS DID CHANGE A LOT OF PEOPLE. BUT IN WATCHING THE SCENE OF THE DR TALKING TO STEVE ROGERS, IT BROUGHT UP ANOTHER POINT.

AFTER YEARS AND YEARS OF ABUSE AND TORTURE AND SEXUAL DEVIANCY

DONE TO WOMEN AND CHILDREN AND SOME MEN BY MEN

WHEN COCAINE, METHAMPHETAMINES AND HALLUCINOGENIC DRUGS WERE INTRODUCED INTO SOCIETY, WHICH WAS ROUGHLY AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CENTURY WITH HOOCH, THEN WW2 WITH METHAMPHETAMINES, THE GOVERNMENT WITH THEIR TESTING OF LSD AND OTHER PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS MEANT TO MAKE A PERFECT SUPERHUMAN SOLDIER, THEN THERE WAS THE 50S WITH LSD USE BY THE HIPPIE CROWD WHO USED IT AS A WAY OF SHOWING OTHERS THAT THERE IS MORE THAN JUST THE “AMERICAN WAY” OF LIVING

FOR EXAMPLE:

THE WALTONS THE BRADY BUNCH AND THE PEYTONS CONSIDERED THE CLASSIC PERFECT FAMILY

THAT ALL AMERICANS STRIVED TO BE

THE USE OF COCAINE MARIJUANA AND METHAMPHETAMINES IN THE 60S AND 70S HAPPENED TO START THE PURGING PROCESS. FAST AND HARD LIVING GIVEN TO ONESELF IN THE FORM OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ESCAPISM FROM THE ATROCITIES THAT WERE HEAPED UPON THEM BY A FATHER WHO STILL THOUGHT WOMEN AND CHILDREN WERE TO BE USED AS THINGS OF/FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION AND THE ESCAPISM BY THE MOTHER WHO HAS FELT HELPLESS AND BULLIED SINCE SHE BEGAN WALKING THIS EARTH AFTER MEN CAME ALONG AND DIDN’T HAVE THE FIGHT LEFT IN HER AND SO CHOSE TO PROTECT THEM THE ONLY WAY SHE COULD AND THAT WAS TO MAKE THE CHILD ADJUST TO THE HUMAN MALE PIECE OF SCUMBAG RUNNY SHIT AND LIKE SPIRITUALITY SAYS TO DO, SHE TOLD THEM TO  SUCK IT UP AND LET IT GO. BECAUSE MALES RAN THE AUTHORITATIVE OFFICES AND ROLES OF THEIR SOCIETY, THERE WAS NOT A SAFE HAVEN ANYWHERE TO BE FOUND FOR US.

SINCE WE BEGAN LIVING ON THIS PLANET AS A SPECIES, WOMAN HAS BEEN LIVING WITH THE FEELINGS AND MEMORIES LEFT IN THE SELF DEFENSE MECHANISM CALLED THE HUMAN CONDITION OR THE EMOTIONAL MIND. BEHAVIORS, WHETHER YOURE THE VIOLATOR OR THE VIOLATED, STAY IN THE PSYCHE AND THEY ARE TRAUMATIC AND SCARRING AND ITS ALSO THE REASON FOR THE HUMAN MINDS PREDILECTION TOWARDS SEEING  THE NEGATIVE FIRST

SO MUCH NEGATIVE SHIT HAS BEEN DONE TO WOMEN AND BOTH FEMALE AND MALE CHILDREN

THAT IT COLLECTS IN THE MTDNA HELIX STRANDS

THAT NEVER REALLY CHANGE

THEY MUTATE A TAD BUT THAT’S IT

THE WOMEN ARE THE ONES THAT CARRY THAT TRAUMATIC SHIT DONE TO THEM FORCEFULLY BY THE MEN IN THEIR LIVES THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THEM

PROBABLY ALSO DONE TO THEM BY THEIR FATHERS AS GAYNESS WAS NOT ALLOWED IN SOCIETY AND SO THEIR URGES WERE SLAKED AT THE COST OF THEIR SONS BUT

IT’S THE WOMAN THAT CARRIES THE BURDEN OF EVERYTHING DONE TO THEM AND BY THEM AND THAT OF THEIR CHILDREN

IT ALL SITS IN THE MTDNA

THAT IS ANOTHER REASON WHY WE ARE STILL LIVING IN A PATRIARCHAL SYSTEM

THE MENS DNA CHANGES SO MUCH THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO CARRY THE BURDENS AND NO ONE UNTIL NOW HAS MADE THEM COME UP “TO SCRATCH” AND THEY WILL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

THAT ALSO MAKES THEM DISPENSABLE AND EASILY WIPED OUT BY THE WOMB OF THE GIVERS OF LIFE.

EVOLUTION HAS MADE THE FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM A PART OF HER.

NATURAL SELECTION IN THE UTERUS, THE UMBILICAL CORD, AND THE AMNIOTIC SAC CHOOSES WHAT THAT CHILD GETS AND DOESN’T GET

WHAT SEX THE CHILD TAKES ON

ITS NOT SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

SHES HAPPENS TO BE THE FINAL SAY IN THE JUSTICE PROCESS OF MOTHER NATURE AND THE SELF DEFENSE MECHANISM OF THE FEMALE EMOTIONAL MIND

TRYING TO PROTECT HERSELF FROM FURTHER DAMAGE IN THAT AREA

FOR HERSELF HER CHILD AND FOR ALL GIVERS OF LIFE

MEN HAVE BECOME SUCH A THREAT TO OUR SPECIES THAT THE UNIVERSE AND MOTHER NATURE AND EVOLUTION AND NATURAL SELECTION ARE PHASING THEM OUT QUITE SWIFTLY  

SO DRUGS ARE A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD,

A PARADOX BECAUSE

 ALL OF THE SHIT THAT KIDS WERE EXPOSED TO AND SUBJECTED TO WERE STARTING TO MANIFEST THEMSELVES IN OUR SOCIETY  

THE 70S AND THE 80S WERE THE TWO DECADES THAT SAW A HUGE RISE IN MURDERERS, SERIAL KILLERS AND SERIAL RAPISTS, NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE GROWN KIDS WHO KILLED THEIR PARENTS AND THE CULTS THAT KILLED THEMSELVES AND THE RAPES AND MURDERS OF MISSING WOMEN AND CHILDREN

ALL OF THIS SHIT CAME OUT OF OUR SOCIETY AFTER THE JUMP IN DRUG ABUSE

THERE ARE THOSE OF YOU THAT LOOK DOWN ON THOSE THAT USE

I HAPPEN TO FEEL THAT ITS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT THAT THEY WERE GIVING THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF THE PAIN THAT THEY WERE IN FOR SO LONG WITH NO OUTLET FOR IT OTHER THAN ESCAPISM

THERE WAS NOONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS BACK THEN

THESE SEXUAL VIOLATIONS AGAINST THE HUMAN BODY AND SOUL WERE BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION BECAUSE THESE SOULS LOVED THEMSELVES ENOUGH TO GIVE THEMSELVES SOME PEACE OF MIND AND A RESPITE FROM THE TRAUMAS AND PAIN THAT THEY WERE AWARE OF AND NOT AWARE OF.

THEY WERE LEFT ALONE AND FEELING HORRIBLY ALONE BY A SOCIETY THAT WAS PUT INTO PLACE BY US AND NATURE IN ORDER TO PROTECT EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER HEALTHILY   

THE “LOST SOULS” UNKNOWINGLY OR KNOWINGLY BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION WHAT WAS WRONG WITH OUR SOCIETY 

HUMANITY DOES NOT LEARN UNLESS THERES ENOUGH PAIN INVOLVED AND IF THERES A GLOBAL NATURAL CATASTROPHE IN THEIR MIDST

NOTHING LIKE BANDING TOGETHER AGAINST A COMMON ENEMY TO BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER AS INDIVIDUALS, AS MORE THAN JUST A SPECIES, BUT AS PEOPLE AND FAMILY.

THAT’S WHY DRUGS WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH

WE HAD TO BE MADE AWARE THAT WE WERE SICK

NOT ONLY IN OUR MINDS BUT IN OUR SOULS AND IN OUR HEARTS

AND WE WERE AND STILL ARE

THE SEXUAL DEVIANCY HAS GONE DOWN AS WELL AS THE MISSING WOMEN AND CHILDREN

THAT PHASE OF OUR GROWTH IS FADING OUT

BUT IT STILL HAPPENS AND WE AS A SOCIETY DO HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL OF IT

YOU ALL SAY DRUGS ARE A BAD THING

BUT ARE THEY REALLY?

WE HAVE COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY BECAUSE OF IT

WE HAVE THE REHABS AND AA/NA MEETINGS THAT TEACH YOU TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR PAST AND YOUR PRESENT

TAKING A DAILY INVENTORY OF WHAT THE FUCK IS ACTUALLY GOING ON IN YOUR EMOTIONAL MIND

THAT HAPPENS TO AFFECT YOUR EVERYDAY LIVING AND TO “HEAL THE TRAUMA”

BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF YOURE DEALING WITH A “NORMIE” AND THEY JUST DON’T CARE AS SPIRITUALITY TEACHES AS WELL THOSE SAME REHABS AND THERAPIES?

THEY ONLY SPEAK OF YOU ALLOWING THESE ATROCITIES OR FEELINGS

LIKE ONE HAS ANY CONTROL OVER THEIR FEELINGS?

DRUGS ARE LIKE THAT INK THAT DOCTORS PUT IN YOUR BODY IN ORDER TO HAVE CONTRAST TO BE BETTER ABLE TO SEE WHATS WRONG

UNTIL THE DRUG BLOWUP OF BACK THEN

THE “SILENT” KILLER CONTINUED TO RAMPAGE AMONG THE ONES THAT HAVE THE MOST TO GIVE AND TO OFFER

A CHILDS LOVE AND WONDER AND INNOCENCE AND ABILITY TO LOVE OPENLY AND HONESTLY AND A MOTHERS LOVE AND NURTURING AND COMPASSION AND KINDNESS AND SELF SACRIFICE FOR THE ONES SHE LOVES

THE SILENCE AND THE MALE OFFENDERS WERE THE ONES MAKING US SICK

AS MJ FROM SOULFUL REVOLUTION SAYS

“HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE”

THAT INCLUDES THE WOMEN WHO DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT THE MTDNA BACK UP OF SHIT AND THE DAUGHTERS THAT INHERITED IT AS IF IT WERE A BIRTHRIGHT OR A LEGACY

IM THE ONE FACING THE MINOTAUR OF SHIT THAT THE MEN IN MY FAMILY LEFT FOR ME TO CLEAN UP. LETS NOT FORGET THE RANDOM ASS FUCKHEADS THAT TOOK IT UPON THEMSELVES TO VIOLATE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN OF MY ANCESTRAL LINE BECAUSE IM CLEANING UP THEIR SHIT AS WELL.

IM ALSO CLEANING UP THE SHIT THAT THE WOMEN IN MY FAMILY WERE TOO WEAK TO FACE AND PROBABLY NOT CAPABLE OF FACING.

 WHETHER OR NOT THEY DID IT OUT OF MALICE FOR THE UNRESOLVED FEELINGS FROM TRAUMAS OR OUT OF PURE FEAR, IT DOESN’T MATTER.

THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, IS THAT UP UNTIL RECENTLY, I WAS THE ONE DEALING WITH THE SHIT LEFT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL OF THE HUMAN PSYCHE. NOW WHETHER IT WAS JUST FOR MY SHADOW GROUP OR FOR MY ANCESTRAL LINE/FAMILY OR WHATEVER, I DON’T KNOW AND I REALLY DON’T CARE.

WHAT IM FEELING RIGHT NOW IS ANGER AND RESENTMENT AT THE FACT THAT I WAS MADE SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS.

THAT’S HOW IT FEELS RIGHT NOW.

WHICH BRINGS UP ANOTHER RESENTMENT

WHAT IF WE GET STUCK WITH THE MAN BULLSHIT AS WELL? WE GOTTA HEAL THEM TOO?

YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP

THE TIDBIT TO TAKE OUT OF THIS WRITING TRUTH EXERCISE IS THIS:

SPIRITUALITY STATES THAT THE UNIVERSE AND SPIRIT WILL TEST YOU TO SEE IF YOU CAN OVERCOME ALL THIS BULLSHIT WITHOUT TAKING THE OTHER PERSON TO TASK

-

IN OTHER WORDS, CAN YOU SUCK IT UP AND FORGIVE WITHOUT MAKING THE OTHER PERSON TAKE RESPONSIBILITY KNOWING THAT YOUR LIFE WAS MADE SEVERELY DIFFICULT AND FUCKING PAINFUL WITH A REPEAT OF “KARMA” THAT YOU HAD NO PART OF IN MAKING OTHER THAN TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF THE INHERITED HANDICAP THAT WAS THE DETRIMENT OF EVERY WOMAN IN MY FAMILY LINE AND TO BE THE VICTIM OF THE PATTERNS AND BEHAVIORS OF MEN WHO CONTINUED THIS CALLOUS, OPPRESSIVE AND SOUL VIOLATING ATTITUDES AND ACTIONS TOWARDS THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THEIR CARE –

MATIAS DE STEFANO IS ALSO INCLUDED IN THIS GROUP

HE IS THE ONE EITHER KEEPING HIMSELF OUT OF MY REACH OR IT’S THE ALIEN CONSCIOUSNESS THAT’S DOING IT AS THEY CAN VIOLATE YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS BY TWISTING YOUR FEELINGS UP AND USING THEM AGAINST YOU JUST LIKE YOUR THOUGHTS. THIS WAS DONE TO ME FOR TWO YEARS

EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER

I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF ON A DAILY BASIS

AT ONE POINT

HE WAS USED AS THE LURE AND KEPT OUT OF MY REACH ON PURPOSE

I FEEL THAT ITS BOTH HIM AND THIS ALIEN PARASITE THAT ARE DOING THIS TO ME

WHEN I WENT TO GO EITHER CONFRONT HIM OR TO GO TALK TO HIM BECAUSE I SUPPOSEDLY FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM OR BOTH BECAUSE OF THE BULLSHIT FROM ABOVE OR BELOW

HE USED EVERY WOUND THAT I CARRY AGAINST ME AT HIS SHOW AND HE RIDICULED AND LAUGHED AT ME WITH THE HELP OF THE AUDIENCE THAT HE WAS EGGING ON

THE WOUNDS THAT I CARRY ARE NOT OF MY MAKING BUT OF THOSE I CALL FAMILY AND SOCIETAL JUDGEMENTS AND HIS OWN NARROWMINDEDNESS AND STUPIDITY. WHY PUT ME THROUGH THIS, WHAT FEELS LIKE, AN EXPERIMENT? WHY HIDE? AND THE BETTER QUESTION IS: HOW CAN I FUCKING KILL ALL ALIENS AND GODS AND CONSCIOUSNESS AND THE UNIVERSE BUT ESPECIALLY THAT UNINTELLIGENT AND UNFEELING

ASS DE STEFANO? HE CLAIMS THIS AND THAT IN HIS STUPID ASS WORLD YET DOESN’T SHOW A WOMAN COMPASSION WHEN SHES BEGGING FOR HELP AND INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER BECAUSE OF THIS EVOLUTION HAPPENING IN ME AND IN THE UNIVERSE ESPECIALLY WHEN HE STOLE MY MEMORIES AND THE INFORMATION FOUND IN MY HEAD IN ORDER TO BRING SHIT TO MY ATTENTION.

HOW FUCKED IS THIS SHIT? AND HOW CAN I KILL HIM AND THE ALIEN PARASITE DICK HIS ASS RIDES IN ON?  

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THE UNIVERSE TESTING US FOR AND WHO IN THE FUCK STARTED THIS STUPID ASS SHIT AND WHY ARE WE STILL REPEATING IT?

NOONE SHOULD BE TESTING US

OR EXPERIMENTING ON US

LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT HAVUNG THE UNIVERSE BE ALIVE OR HER CONSCIOUSNESS OR WHATEVER –

THE BITCH WANTS TO TEST US TOO?

FUCK THAT AND FUCK THE PEOPLE THAT ARE STILL PERPETUATING THAT BIT OF BULLSHIT AND NONSENSE.

STICK ALL THAT STUPID SHIT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS.

IM GOING TO FUCK THAT FOOL UP AND THAT BITCH CONSCIOUSNESS PARASITE AND THE THIRD EYE SHIT CAN GO FUCKING KNIFE ITSELF

Alrighty then, now that ive made a point…jeebus! I was going through it wasn’t i? well, let me just say that becoming who I am was not easy. Since I fully cant define myself, since I am ever changing, I guess ill find out as you do since I will be in the public eye, hopefully making an impact that will forever change humanity.

Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?

I FINALLY GOT MY PASSPORT AND IM SITTING HERE ENJOYING THE FRUITS OF OUR LABOR MY LITTLE VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCIES THAT DID NOTHING BUT BE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLES EVER. NOT EVEN NICE ONES UNTIL I STRAIGHTENED THEM OUT.

I GOTTA GO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER SO I CAN MAKE MY HOME IN THE MEDITERRANEAN AND LIVE MY LIFE WITH MY KIDS AND MY COSMIC BROS. I LOVE YOU DAD. I GOT YOU. ILL RAISE YOU RIGHT. I PROMISE.

AS FOR LITTLE TROUBLE, YOUR ENERGY FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS BE WELCOME TO EAT DINNER WITH US. NOTHING LIKE MAKING ROOM FOR IMAGINARY UNIMAGINARY FRIENDS AT THE DINNER TABLE AND THE FACT THAT I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM MAKES IT EVEN SWEETER!!

I MISS OLD TROUBLE AND SNUGGLEBUNNY.

ILL BE BACK!