Robin Hood’s Merry Adventure
Written by @b-wolf95
Oo-De-Lally! You've come to Nottingham at a good time; Prince John is holding an archery tournament for all to come. The prize: a golden arrow and a kiss from Maid Marian herself! Join famed outlaws Robin Hood and Little John as they attempt to join in the festivities in disguise, only to be found out, leading to a fun-filled fight around the fairgrounds that is sure to leave everyone involved with a merry cheer. Well, except for Prince John and his men. They're only leaving with empty pockets.
Exterior
The entrance to the ride is part of a set of buildings that look like they came straight out of Nottingham. The usually run-down houses have received a splash of color due to being adorned with several festive banners announcing the archery tournament. Most notably of these is the large banner that hangs over the doorway of the leftmost building (where the guests enter the ride) - partially because it was very clearly made by one of the townsfolk as opposed to the other banners. Before entering, guests pass by an old tree that has an official announcement of the tournament with the important details nailed onto it… along with many, many wanted posters for Robin Hood.
Queue
Inside, the queue is set within a rather cozy living space. However, guests might notice that the space seems somewhat unfurnished, suggesting that the residents have only enough money for the bare essentials, if that. At the end of the queue, guests approach, in traditional Fantasyland fashion, a beautiful mural depicting the movie’s characters. Much like the opening credits of the movie, each character has their name and species by them (e.g. “Robin Hood, A Fox”). After getting comfortably seated in their wooden vehicles (well, as comfortable as one can be when there’s a literal target on their back), guests are off to tournament through some doors themed to a forest - Sherwood Forest, to be more exact.
RIDE
Our first scene takes us to Sherwood Forest, where we pass by Robin Hood’s hideout just in time to see Friar Tuck inform Robin Hood and Little John about the archery tournament, including the part about Maid Marian kissing the winner. Robin is naturally more than excited at the prospect, though Little John is there to remind him that they need to be cautious about it.
Our attention is turned away from the scene by the sound of blaring trumpets, as we see Prince John’s procession off in the distance. Soon enough, we’re right next to Prince John’s grand carriage… well, it would be grand were it not for the dried mud stains and the (hopefully temporary) cheap wooden hubcaps. Prince John can be heard inside angrily muttering something about “blasted fortune tellers.” We also pass by Maid Marian’s comparatively more modest carriage, where she and Lady Kluck are discussing the possibility of seeing Robin Hood at the tournament.
We’re now at the tournament, where we see that all of Nottingham is gathered to watch. We pass by the participants, of which one spindly leg stork seems to be having a moment with Maid Marian by the royal box, much to the annoyance of the Sheriff of Nottingham behind him. Also in the royal box is Lady Kluck, Prince John, and what appears to be Little John in disguise as a duke. Off to the side, we see Sir Hiss slithering off to the fairground, who we move to follow.
Once at the fairgrounds, we see Friar Tuck eyeing a balloon seller, who is oblivious to the fact that Sir Hiss is hiding among his wares. Turning the corner, we see Sir Hiss has managed to take flight with the balloon and is observing the field, which we see between the tents that the stork from before is up (both are done with screens due to more complex motions needed for this scene). Sir Hiss seems to come to a realization, when suddenly, a stray arrow from the stork pops the balloon, sending Sir Hiss to the ground. The stork then sends off another arrow to course correct the first one, which, after a series of ricochets and a near-miss with us (achieved via hydraulics and air blasters), results in a double bull-eye, netting him the win. As we hear the crowd cheer, we see Friar Tuck stuffing Sir Hiss into a barrel.
We then see the stork standing by the royal box, ready to declared the winner by Prince John, who has an unusual amount of guards on stand-by. Sneaking a sword underneath the stork’s clothes, Prince John declares, “I hereby pronounce you… the loser!” With that, Prince John pulls the sword up, ripping the clothes off to reveal that the stork was Robin Hood in disguise. (This effect is achieved by having the clothes be separate from the Robin Hood figure, with clever blocking being used to disguise this fact as well the mechanisms needed to make the clothes “fall.” In the event of the effect malfunctioning, a scrim is placed in front of the scene so that the scene can be easily switched out with a projection.) At this, Little John leaps into action, taking out a sword to defend his pal. And thus begins a massive brawl across the fairgrounds.
We are now on a mad dash through the fairgrounds as the fight occurs around us. We weave in between tents and in and out of alleys as we witness such sights as Lady Kluck taking out guards twice her height, Robin Hood and Maid Marian throwing pies to hold off solderds, Little John and the Sheriff getting caught on a runaway tent, and a dazed Sir Hiss emerging from the barrel to try to tell a cowering Prince John that the stork is Robin Hood, not realizing that things are well past that point. We even have a close call or two with some of the other ride vehicles!
Eventually, we manage to make it back to Sherwood Forest, but we’re not out of the woods yet. Prince John’s archers are right behind us, as we see their arrows hit the trees around us and even feel when they manage to get a hit on the back of our vehicle! Even when we manage to escape them, we soon see that Prince John and the remainder of his men are in hot pursuit in his royal carriage. Fortunately for us, this is the same carriage with the cheap wooden hubcaps, so strang of the strain of the chase ends making the carriage’s wheels fall off, sending it and everyone in it flying off course and, from what we hear after it goes out of sight, end up in a messy crash.
When we manage to find the crashed carriage, we see that our three main villains are more than a little worse for wear: the Sheriff has managed to get stuck under some roots, Sir Hiss is all tied up around a branch, and Prince John himself is wallowing in the mud, reduced to his undergarments and sucking his thumb. The wreckage itself is just a bit further, with Friar Tuck handing out bags of gold from wreckage to the passing by folks from Nottingham, who are on their way to...
…Robin Hood’s hideout, where a grand party is taking place. Everyone from Nottingham, even Maid Marian and Lady Kluck, is there singing and dancing, with Little John in particular joining the band in performing “Phony King of England.” Some people have even created a puppet show in “honor” of Prince John, using his stolen clothes to make a crude likeness of him. All and all, a rather joyous end to a rather fun-filled adventure.