The Singin’ Siren Theater fills the entire wooden hull. Rows of seating all face towards a stage, which is presently hidden behind seaweed curtains. The curtains feature a Jolly Roger version of the drama & comedy masks.

The ship interior has been heavily modified to serve as a theater venue, with several other ship components relocated and modified. The ship’s pulpit is mounted to stage right below a mast, its prow poking out over the audience. Theatrical lighting comes courtesy of Ed, an animatronic anglerfish who hangs in the rafters and shines his lightbulb lure like a spotlight.

Our host appears on the pulpit, lit by Ed. Meet Captain Johnny Bawker, our M.C. - “M.C.” here meaning both “Master of Ceremonies” and “Master & Commander.” Captain Bawker is an animatronic sea turtle regally clad in an admiral’s uniform. With a commanding alto voice, Bawker welcomes guests to his Musical Mutiny. Following a brief lead-in proclaiming the majesty of sea shanties, Bawker bellows “Now, me hearties...on with ye show!”

DRUNKEN SAILOR

Captain Johnny Bawker with The Merry Mariners

(0:00 - 2:38)

Curtains open to reveal a forecastle main stage. This platform is set before the captain’s cabin, where large windows span the width of stern. The windows look out onto a projection screen, which changes throughout the revue; for now it views the Harbortown docks.

“Drunken Sailor,” a boisterous, raucous tune, rings out. As voices first sing “Way hey up she rises,” on cue a band of brigands rises from within the forecastle. Meet The Merry Mariners, an engaging animatronic crew of ne’er-do-well sea creatures, all playing their instruments in perfect animated unison. Let’s meet the mateys…

On concertina accordion is Bos’n Bill, a sting ray. Bill is a happy-go-lucky sort who wears a tricorn hat.

Conrad is a fiddler crab, so naturally he plays the fiddle, drawing a bow across the strings with his claw. Conrad’s eyes are comically magnified by a thick pair of goggles.

Accompanying Conrad on the mandolin is Shanghai Sam, a stoic squid with a wool longshoreman’s cap and a corncob pipe. Sam plays his instrument using Slim Jim, a sawfish.

Rising out of a treasure chest are Port and Starboard, a pair of clams who play the rhythm bones.

One-Eyed Rory plays the tin whistle. Rory, a short-tempered blowfish who wears an eyepatch and a pirate’s bandana, constantly inflates and deflates as he plays.

Lastly, R. R. Jones is a hammerhead shark who plays the bodhran drum by just constantly slamming his head against it. Good ol’ R. R. is an oversized simpleton taken to constantly screaming “Arr! Arr!” at random intervals. He is covered in tribal tattoos and bone piercings like Moby-Dick’s Queequeg.

With instrumental intervals in the tune, Bawker seizes the moment to introduce the mutineers. “Drunken Sailor” plays out in its entirety, as audiences are still finding their sea legs. Songs to come will only feature a verse or two each.

BLOW THE MAN DOWN

Captain Johnny Bawker with The Merry Mariners & The Porthole Trio

(0:00 - 1:05)

As “Blow the Man Down” begins, the ship begins its journey out to open ocean as witnessed through the captain’s windows. This song is a bit of a cool down after the jaunty opener.

While the Merry Mariners continue to play and sing, they are now joined by The Porthole Trio, three tenors who poke in from three portholes on the right wall. Let’s introduce these salty new miscreants.

Their leader is Benchley, a great white shark. Despite his scars and embedded fishhook “jewelry,” Benchley is really a gentle giant.

Next is Murray the moray eel, who somehow manages to sing despite the cutlass held in his mouth.

Finnegan is a narwhal who likes to wave his pointy horn around wildly mid-song. Finnegan sports gold teeth and a single golden hoop earring.

This song concludes, and Captain Bawker introduces the next act...which he will continue to do throughout the revue.

HAUL AWAY JOE

Haul Away Joe & Baritone Bob with The Barnacle Chorus

(0:00 - 1:11)

Storm clouds gather on the seas outside as the dirgelike “Haul Away Joe” begins. The Merry Mariners descend into their stage, and out rolls Haul Away Joe himself onto the forecastle, strapped to a wheeled cannon. Joe is a barracuda, bound in heavy chains & shackles, who sings a mournful shanty about labors & laments.

Ed shines his spotlights on the rear and side walls. He reveals the accompanying Barnacle Chorus - dozens upon dozens of tiny barnacles singing as one. Every once in awhile, a tiny clownfish named Baritone Bob pops out from Joe’s cannon to sing a single very, very deep note - which is rather humorous given Bob’s minuscule size.

Clouds outside grow heavier as the song builds. Rains and waves pelt The Singin’ Siren, as lightning bolts cut across the grey skies. Joe’s cannon sways with the ship’s rocking, until finally rolling away stage left. His song is unceremoniously cut short.

ACROSS THE WESTERN SEA

The Merry Mariners with The Barnacle Chorus & Naughty Nate

(0:00 - 0:57)

The Merry Mariners return to elevate spirits with the upbeat “Across the Western Sea,” as the Barnacle Chorus continues to sing along. An anchor swings like a chandelier over the audience. Naughty Nate clings to the anchor. Nate is a manic nautilus in a sailor cap, who belts out a bug-eyed tune with deranged energy.

Visible in the windows, the ship dives underwater! This is a surprising moment for the audience, though the bellowing brigands barely behold it. Leaks spring in the wooden planks, and continue leaking for the show’s remainder (harmlessly emptying into unseen drains).

YO HO (A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME)

Kevin the Kraken with Bos’n Bill & The Porthole Trio

(0:00 - 1:03)

As a brief, jokey interlude, The Porthole Trio sings this Pirates of the Caribbean favorite while Bos’n Bill plays his accordion. Kevin the Kraken swims past in the cabin, then suddenly, physically bursts through the left side walls! Blue lighting envelops the theater, as the audience is seemingly plunged underwater, not that they mind at all. Cold air vents and bubble machines complete the unconvincing-yet-playful underwater effect.

Kevin’s massive beak joins along in song, booming out a deep baritone. Captain Bawker loudly objects, but he is muffled as the mast sail lowers in front of his pulpit. Lantern-lit projections on the mast feature period sketches of pirate life.

THE COASTS OF HIGH BARBARY

Grumpy Roger & Gus

(0:00 - 1:00)

As the song abruptly ends, Kevin swims off, once again passing the window. Ed redirects his spotlight high up to the crow’s nest above the unfurled mast. Here, Grumpy Roger performs “The Coasts of High Barbary,” with Spanish guitar accompaniment by his sidekick Gus the starfish.

Both Roger and Gus seemingly float in the theater’s watery currents, held aloft by unseen robot arms. Despite his adorable seahorse appearance, Roger is a very grumpy sort, constantly waving around a flintlock pistol. Visuals outside the cabin window show The Singin’ Siren drifting through a shipwreck graveyard. More projections on the mast depict vintage sketches of coastal Barbary.

FIFTEEN MEN ON A DEAD MAN’S CHEST

Melville with The Porthole Trio

(0:00 - 0:47)

The mast rises up, and Captain Bawker tries to reassume command...when out of the dark waters outside comes Melville, a gigantic sperm whale dotted with harpoons. Melville is not an animatronic, but entirely screen-based.

With a great, booming voice, Melville bellows his rather creepy shanty. The Porthole Trio accompanies. The deep seas outside get increasingly black as the song plays out.

SPANISH LADIES

Saltwater Sally with The Merry Mariners

(0:00 - 0:53)

Next up, Saltwater Sally’s lilting, elegant “Spanish Ladies” provides a sharp counterpoint to Melville’s dirge. Sally is an animatronic dolphin riding in a lifeboat which swings above the forecastle from cargo netting. The theater gets darker and darker, until the only lights are from dozens of deep sea jellyfish, seen both outside in the window and indoors drifting up and down from the ceiling, their otherworldly pink bioluminescent hues granting Sally’s song a beautiful poetic backdrop.

SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME

Tipsy McGee with The Barnacle Chorus

(0:00 - 0:47)

Suddenly all lights go out, instantly replaced by Ed’s spotlight highlighting a fearsome Gothic pipe organ on stage left. But despite its scary appearances, the instrument sounds like a honkytonk piano, one played by Tipsy McGee the severely intoxicated octopus. Tipsy hammers out “Show Me the Way to Go Home,” which famously featured in Jaws, while the Barnacle Chorus drunkenly joins in.

Tipsy constantly plays to the audience, peeking out from under a slop bucket he wears for a hat. Three of Tipsy’s arms tickle the ivories, while the other arms feature a pegleg, a hook hand, and several bottles of rum. Throughout Tipsy’s sloshed serenade, The Singin’ Siren rises up and reaches the ocean’s surface. The in-theater water effects drain away, and the leaks stop.

THE DUBLIN PUB CRAWL

Full Cast

(0:00 - 1:50)

Sunlight bathes the entire hull theater, revealing the entire cast all at once! Everyone, audience included, joins in together to croon “The Dublin Pub Crawl,” a wonderfully joyous ditty, a delightfully deranged drinking song which serves as our finale. Outside in the cabin window, The Singin’ Siren returns to the Harbortown docks.

Ed’s spotlights shut off on cast members one-by-one, as their voices cut off as well. The rest continue to sing and play as the song lyrics compound in their drunken complexity. Ultimately, 1:30 into the song, the seaweed curtain draws across the rambunctious Merry Mariners, muffling them as the unending song slowly fades away. Captain Johnny Bawker upon his pulpit thanks the audience for setting sail with his crew of unruly misfits, and bids them all a fond shore leave.

Including brief intervals in between songs, the show runs roughly 14 minutes. The performance is now officially over, with exit doors opening to the left, even though a few performers remain...

LEAVE HER JOHNNY

Captain Johnny Bawker with The Porthole Trio

(0:00 - 2:12)

Performed entirely acapella as guests depart, “Leave Her Johnny” is a fitting farewell tune full of melancholy and regret. Captain Johnny Bawker leads, with backing by the Porthole Trio.

Guests head out through a wooden side passage. Perched atop the ultimate exit door frame is the final animatronic, Sir Reginald Fitzgerald Raferty Joyce Sporkbottom III (or so states a name placard), a mindless parrot which simply shrieks out “Awk! Fare thee well!” on repeat. Guests emerge back into Harbortown.