Rosalva

She was twenty three and had two children. She stood four feet ten inches, was intelligent, and she worked hard and fast. She was shy. I asked her to tell me about herself and she spoke in poor country Spanish.

"A seventeen year old woman, my mother lived in an Indian pueblo in Oaxaca, Mexico. Older Indians spoke mestico the old language of Mexico, and the young people spoke Spanish. My mother spoke both languages. My skinny mother placed me as a baby in the home of her fat sister who took care of me. My grandfather lived with us. My mother went away to work. She came back when I was ten and asked me to come with her but I wouldn't. Her sister was my mother by then."

"Every year I went to school for one month from the age of six to twelve. From age seven to twelve I spent eight months working to grow strawberries, water melons, and other food in Sinaloa. I traveled and worked with my Aunt. We rode busses for hundreds of miles over dirt and sometimes dangerous roads. We went every year and it was hard work, and the sun was hot. During the four months at home in Oaxaca I worked as a house cleaner for old people or as a baby sitter."

"At about thirteen I went to Tijuana and worked in a store selling food. The following year I traveled to the U.S. with a very good woman I call my Godmother. There were three of us. We paid a coyote who walked us through mountains they called Encinitas. During the night we slept by a river. The next day we walked to a small city parking lot where someone took us in a car to a City close to San Diego. The car stopped at a fast food store. Another car took us to an apartment."

"Several people lived in the apartment. Most of us slept on the floor. I was given a fake I.D. card with a new name and Social security number. Then I was given a job at a Mexican fast food place to eat. I began to learn to speak English very slowly because most of the help spoke Mexican."

"One day a very handsome young man from my state in Mexico spoke to me. He was friendly. We spoke many times over several months while I was working. Then we became friends and later lovers after work. I loved him very much. After I told him I was pregnant, he refused to speak to me. None of his family would talk to me. Finally, I went home to Mexico. Two weeks before the baby came, a coyote walked me and two other women back into the United states from Tijuana. My daughter was born in a hospital."

"After a while I went back to work. I met a girl my age who had lived where I did in Mexico. She took care of my baby while I worked. Then my lover came back and we were happy until I became pregnant with his second child. Then he became angry with me. He told his family someone else must be the father. Then he left his family here and went to Mexico. Now my daughter has a little brother. I do not have a man."

"After a while I got a job doing housework. I found a small house with cheap rent. I hire a babysitter to take care of my babies while I work. The father of my children came back from Mexico and wanted to live with me again. I said no,no. then he began bringing toys to the kids. He did not give me money, but he bought shoes for the kids. Later he said he wanted to marry me, but I said no. I told him he must take full responsibility for raising a family. He will be going back to work on his father's farm for five months every year. He has good papers to stay in the U.S.A. But he says he cannot get good papers for me. He tells me he will buy a farm land and build a house for us in Mexico. I do not know if I can believe him. Lately he sometimes takes us out to eat food in a cafe. He did not take me out before. Now he drives my kids to a baby sitter where he lives. I give him the money to pay her."

"I work, I learn English, and I am happy. I only hope I will someday be able to trust the father of my children."