The elderly married couple seemed devoted to each other. Howard was underweight while Nancy was a little overweight, and she had a very bad back. Through their maladies each did his best to care for the other's needs, and as they grew old, there were frequent and painful back problems that kept Nancy in bed much of the time. Howard spent much of his time tending his garden and small grove of avocados. Nancy owned an ancient rose bush that grew green roses. The green rose is not pretty, but it won Nancy blue ribbons at flower shows.
One day Nancy spoke to me about her youth. "I was a tom-boy. I liked to be with my father, and he liked me because I acted like the son he always wanted. My father owned a grove of walnut trees in the area of Los Angeles where Hollywood later became a city. As a teenager I got farm workers to help me pick the walnuts. We dried them in the sun and carried them to market in a truck where I sold them. I made money even as a teenager, and I hired my two older sisters to help me. But my sisters were prim and proper like my mother. They thought they were too good to get their hands dirty. Not me. I had the courage and the brains to do something and to have something in my old age. But my sisters never accomplished what I did.
“My sisters made fun of me and Howard when we lived at Palos Verdes near the cliffs by the ocean. Nobody wanted to live there in those days. And we bought cheap land in Torrance. It was right at Hawthorne and Pacific Coast Highway. When it rained the land all flooded. But my sisters didn't laugh when I sold it and got my price. The airport and high rise buildings are there now. And my sisters thought we were dumb when Howard and I bought a long narrow strip of land at Palos Verde. It was too narrow to build on. But I waited, and I got my price. I got plenty for it. This house we live in now has lots of rocks I carried here myself. I made this huge fireplace and the chimney. I brought Palos Verde Stone from where we used to live. You can see the fish and shell fossils. I'll show you some. And I bought that big new car out there in my garage for Howard. And you know what? Howard is getting too old to look out for himself if I die. I've got it fixed so some other woman can't take it all away from him if I go first. Our money will be in a trust, and he will just get so much a month. It's a good thing I look out for Howard. I'm the one with all the brains."
Howard had apparently heard Nancy say these things to all her friends that came to visit her. He didn't bother to protest. But when I got in my car he gave me home grown fruit from his garden. Then he stood by my car door and talked to me for a while. He was soft spoken and a real gentleman. He didn't seem to mind his wife taking all the credit for their mutual success in business and their beautiful home. Nancy told him to buy me a tree so I would remember her, and he went out and bought one and gave it to me. Each time I visited the couple, Nancy commanded the conversation and wouldn’t allow Howard to talk. Howard had to wait for me to go outside the house where he spoke about his trees. He did not brag like Nancy did, and his conversation was not very interesting. But I listened to him for a few minutes each time before I drove away.
Nancy and Howard were lovely people, and I enjoyed each visit I made to their home in Fallbrook. One day I heard the bad news. Howard came out of his room carrying a hand gun and stood in front of his wife. He aimed the pistol at his own temple and blew his brains out right in front of her. He had finally become the center of her attention.
A week passed before I visited Nancy. She seemed to take Howard's death like a trooper. A few months later Nancy was moved from her beautiful home to a hospital where she died after a few days.
When I go to the San Diego Wild Animal Park I see metal plaques that give Nancy and Howard Dinwittie credit for donations. One plaque is prominent in the butterfly exhibit. I think of them and the lessons I learned from their lives.