Mexican Vacation

My wife Barbara Browne planned the vacation for twelve of us. My son Barry flew from Chicago along with his friend Dan Saleh who was his classmate at Loyola Medical school in Maywood, Illinois. Julie, Danny, and Jenny completed the four of our kids that attended. They were all going to colleges in California where we lived. My brother Ron and his wife Joyce brought their two eighteen-year-old twin daughters and his 21 year old son Mike who brought along his surf board. So there were twelve of us and we were all excited to be going to the Mexican Riviera. Normally we travel light and carry only small suitcases. Lots of people lose luggage carried under the plane. I argued with Barbara because she planned to bring cookies, candy, a big box full of many cracker jacks and a large frozen turkey. We boarded the plane at the Tijuana airport. I was worried the Mexican inspectors would catch me carrying the frozen turkey on my shoulder and put me in jail for breaking some law they might have had. I thought they might lock me up in one of their dirty jail cells or at least they would take my prize frozen turkey from me. The turkey was hidden in a large brown paper bag. I could smell the raw meat and was afraid one of the passengers might turn me in before we landed at Puerta Vallarta. Luckily, nobody bothered me. We crowded into two large van-type cabs and were deposited at Playa Gemelas, a twelve story condominium located fifteen miles south of Puerta Vallarta.

Barbara had rented a room at a six story condo paying for six people to sleep in the beach front shelter. We were led to the three-bedroom, two-and-a-half baths and a small kitchen. My two boys slept on two couches. My daughters Julie and Jenny and my brother Ron's two fifteen-year-old girls all slept on two twin beds. Ron, Joyce and Barbara and I shared a bedroom. The twin beds were used with only sheets and a bedspread because of the heat. Ron's son Mike and Barry's friend Dan must have slept on the floor. The kitchen had a fridge, a gas range, and a bottle of drinking water. I remember Mike had brought a sleeping bag. Our second-story apartment had a balcony. We looked through coconut palms to the reef and blue waters south of Puerto Vallarta.

A two-foot-long green and yellow iguana lizard sat on our window because there were no screens on the open window of our room. A pale chameleon (gartijas) blended with the white wall of our bar area. Both shy animals hid themselves when molested by my petting, frightened fingers.

The Mexican staff jokingly delivered four sets of towels and sheets to room 203 booked for six occupants. Barbara had paid $175 a day for one week. Barbara called the office located at the gate out front by the road. She demanded more towels, sheets, and pillow cases and a fresh bottle of drinking water. The night manager accompanied the maid and again asked in Spanish. "How many people?" I answered, "Ses." meaning six in Spanish. The manager smiled graciously and he left the room.

The gentle maid was pretty, polite, and she expertly made up the four beds. She turned on the stove gas and lighted the burners. She gave us extra towels. Our frozen turkey was starting to melt in the eighty-degree night air. All the unscreened windows were open and only a few moths and mosquitoes braved the indoors with us.

At eight P.M. the gate guard was kind enough to use a red lantern to flag down two large taxi vans. We agreed to pay $3.00 and six of us crowded into the first taxi. The driver of the second taxi claimed overloading his cab with six people was breaking the law. So, we gave him an extra sixty cents making it about 800 pesos.

The cabs took us driving very fast to Carlos O'Brion's which was already crowded with Christmas Eve tourists. We all walked two blocks along the beach to the Vallarta Grill, a very nice restaurant. I ordered a coke and the rest drank pina coladas. Some of us sat on chairs, and the rest sat on the open adobe window frames.

After we ate Mexican food, we walked to the cathedral and stood on the crowded steps to see and hear part of the mass. Of course none of us could understand the Latin priest. Ron donated money to a petite, young beautiful Indian mother holding a colorfully dressed baby. The child stared passively at nothing as the fourteen year old mother sat on a step. The mother looked angelic but not meeting our eyes as she held out her begging hand.

The four boys decided to walk south trying to catch a cab for a ride to the condo. The four girls walked north yelling "Taxi" as the crowded cabs and doorless vans rushed past them. Several cars, jeeps, and trucks tried to pick up the girls but they were looking for safe transportation. Meanwhile we four parents asked for directions to a grocery market. We went on several goose chases finding closed signs since it was midnight Christmas Eve. Then we walked north away from our condo trying to hail down a cab. We watched the girls holler for a cab, but all four hundred taxies in town were too busy to stop. We parents caught up with the girls, and all eight of us stood in the road at midnight yelling, "Taxi!" at all the cars that passed. It was too dark to recognize taxi-cabs.

Everyone was tired and short fused. After an hour of hailing, a taxi stopped and picked up the four girls. Later another taxi stopped and gave us a nice slow drive back to the condo. Everyone got home at about the same time. It was hot and we slept without covers. Mosquitoes bothered all of us that night. Anti-itch medications were taken by those who could find any.

There were no soft beds, couches or chairs because none of them had springs. We tossed and turned listening to the ocean surf,the buzz of mosquitoes, and slept almost sweating under our sheets. In the morning we all drank cervesa Corona, a beer.

Mike, age 21, tall, lithe and tan with short black hair was an avid surfer. He left early on Christmas in search of big waves. He learned that the best beach was a one-and-a-half-hour drive to a point with a shallow coral bottom. The waves broke out in the sea about 300 yards from shore. He learned that only one bus a day went to the turn off ten miles from the point. He had no way to get to the point and no way to drive back home. So, he gave up going that day and carried his board and sleeping bag back from town, disappointed. He hoped his dad would rent a jeep for him to drive, but Ron refused.

Mike spent part of the afternoon skin diving in front of the condo. He enjoyed snorkeling and later described seeing blow fish, skinny long trumpet fish and many more colorful fish that swam in the clear tropical water. He stayed up late drinking beer after enjoying the delicious turkey dinner Barbara prepared. The next day a bus carried Mike and his surf board to the point. Shortly after starting his hike to the waves, an American family of surfers picked him up and adopted him until the following Wednesday afternoon when he came home to us.

Mike described his adventure saying, "I also met some Mexican surfers. They were pretty good at it. The waves were medium height, soft, and they started building and breaking a quarter of a mile out from the sandy point. I caught a good one and rode it to the point where it veered off and took me around the side of the point for an additional city block. My legs were so tired I could hardly stand on my board. I looked back out where the other guys were waiting for a wave, and they seemed like they were a mile away. I ate with the American family, but slept alone under a palm tree wrapped up in my towel. It was the best surfing I have ever done!"

Mike's new friends drove him back to town. A taxi van saw him carrying his board and gave him a free lift to the condo and the driver refused to accept a fee. So, the two-day surfing trip cost him almost nothing. A young man trudging through town in a bathing suit, sunburned, and carrying a surf board looks poor, even to the Mexicans.

My youngest girl Jenny and Ron's young-lady twins were sunbathing on the beach. Ron and I dragged ourselves out of the water tired from snorkeling. Jenny had asked me to take her skin diving, so I gave her one fin, a face-plate, and a snorkel. I said, "Just wade in and swim in the shallow water. There are lots of fish close to the shore, and the waves are too small to bother you."

She put on the gear and waded in to her knees, bent over and peered into the water. "No, Dad, You come with me. There are too many sharp rocks."

I took her hand and we slowly kicked our way through the sunny clear water. It was stuffed with fish of all colors and sizes. We went out fifty yards, and after we came ashore she said, "Gee, that was easy, and I loved seeing the blowfish and all the others. I should have done this before."

The doctors, Dan and Barry, had come from their school in Chicago. Both third-year medical students at Loyola, tired from their recent eighteen hours a day surgery clerkships. Their speech was cluttered with medical terminology, and they were experts in many subjects. Danny used special prescription-lensed face plate for skin diving. Barry carried a guitar which he picked and strummed as he sang Bob Dillon songs. Danny picked up Barry's guitar and strummed chords at Barry's instructions. They respected each other and stayed friends for many years after that. They had come to Mexico to rest, but both were too energetic to waste time. They went to cantinas, drank beer, and flirted. My younger son, Danny, helped them celebrate. Sometimes he acted crazy. But he was lovable enough to stay out of fights. They were three nice young men not spoiled by sophistication.

No one would have guessed that my sweet, little, daughter Julie could have been teaching college math for a living. She was small in size but wore sexy dresses. She demanded respect telling us that she was a mature twenty-six year old working woman. She loved to dance. She acted as chaperone to the three younger girls while they went disco dancing until five A.M. They had caught a ride to the disco from downtown. They rode in the back of someone's truck and when we saw them, Ron showed a little anger because he felt they were taking chances on their lives. Ron's wife Joyce said, "Let them go. They will be safe staying together."

Julie

When Julie ordered food at a restaurant she asked the waiter what foods and ingredients were in each dish. In Mexico she orders and hopes for the best. She says, "No hot peppers, onions or mayonnaise please."

I took Julie in the water to teach her to skin dive. We held hands, pointed at the fish and had a wonderful time for more than an hour. After skin diving Julie vowed to get her own gear when she got home. "I never realized how beautiful and easy it is."

Shelagh

On December 30th, Barry, Dan and Danny Browne met Shelagh and her fifteen and sixteen-year-old daughters in Puerto Vallarta. They were at Gloria's, a large water-front hotel on the northerly part of town. Gloria's had giant thatched huts on the beach. Shelagh was given a suite with a stocked bar. Talk about the luck of the Irish! Shelagh had been divorced several years back partly because her doctor husband showed her no respect. Now she was making good investments, in business for herself, and doing very well financially.

Venessa and Lisa were both beauties, so, naturally, the three boy-flirters rented a catamaran and took them sailing. Barry had served on a racing schooner, so he knew the ropes. That night everyone except Mike met at the cathedral. Barbara had read that the Casa Maria served good reasonably-(cheap)-priced food, but we had no address. We asked and were sent on many goose chases. A greeter pointed out the Casa Maria where the fourteen of us ordered the Especial." The adults drank beer and the minors had cokes, and the food was excellent. We were noisy and the only other patrons were Mexicans that night. After we paid, the bartender sent some free drinks with salt and lime to we elders. The drinks were a clear cactus alcohol something like extapius. You just sip it as it is a very strong drink.

Ron had to force Mike to go with us all on a one and a half hour boat ride to an island. We ordered beer and food on the beach. Shelagh insisted on paying when a young man brought us a check figured at $120.00 and she knew that was too much. Shelagh, Barbara and Barry, "helped" him add the food up, and Shelagh paid the man $60.00 including the tip.

We all experienced sore butts riding two hours back on the boat to Puerto Vallarta. We saw some neat sea gulls and porpoises. We saw Lalo, the Mexican skin diver in a small outboard motor boat. He is tall and handsome like Mike, and very confident with women. He had taken Barbara and me skin diving the previous year.

Mister Turkey

I said, "No, don't ask me to carry a 23-pound-frozen, dead turkey on the plane." Barbara pushed her request and I gave in. We put it in two paper sacks. Then we put it in an old zippered overnight bag and stuffed that into a blue toter called Le Bag. Julie loaned me her two-wheeled-tote cart, and we got the bird through customs twice without any arguments. Mr. Turkey just fit in the overhead plane compartment above my seat.

Barbara brought most of the stuffing stuff in her suitcase, bought eggs and butter at la tienda (the store) located within the condo. With no oven thermometer, cooking a turkey is pure guesswork. The oven door was opened frequently to prevent burned meat. Later Barbara turned off the gas oven asking us to keep the oven door shut while we went shopping down town. Someone named Julie opened the oven door to look in before we left. Barbara lighted the oven when we returned from town. Later, she opened the oven and brought out a perfectly-cooked turkey. The best juicy, succulent white and dark meat we had ever tasted.

Cracker Jacks

Barbara had bought 144 boxes of Cracker Jacks and expected me to carry them on the plane to Mexico. I said, "No way. You are crazy. Why should we carry a bulky big box like that when we can buy anything we want or need when we get there?"

Barbara sneaked 24 boxes of Cracker Jacks in her suitcase. Before the turkey dinner, she dug them out, passed them around,and everyone enjoyed chewing on them. Christmas presents were being opened. Some of the Cracker Jack prizes were lick-on tattoos and the girls pasted them on their pretty bodies. Everyone laughed and enjoyed their prizes.

While Mike was surfing with the nice American family, he learned that they craved American food. Mike reached in his lunch bag and brought out a box of Cracker Jacks, and shared it with them to their delight. Cracker Jacks!

Julie squealed on her brother Danny who had swiped a box earlier before Dinner. Needless to say, Barbara had won the battle of the Cracker Jacks.

Ron Browne

Ron Browne perceives more acutely than most of us. His zest for life, his obvious appreciation of what he sees and hears is wonderful. Sitting on the balcony on a rainy, turbulent day he said, "Isn't this great! Sitting here enjoying this inclement weather?"

Watching the performance of four young Indian men singing and playing old ancient music, Ron said, "Those guys don't realize how great what they are doing is. They are playing jazz. Listen to those complicated rhythms."

Looking in a coconut tree using binoculars he said, "Look at that squirrel. He holds his tail up over his body like an umbrella to keep dry in the rain."

No wonder he is so popular as a high school teacher in music and history. He brings enthusiasm and curiosity to the classroom. He has a sense of humor but is not a funny man, he's just fun. He started a beard on the vacation. In Anaheim he played and sang a lot for weddings, funerals, and he performed in two barbershop quartets entertaining thousands of people every month. He stopped fighting with his fists when he was twenty-five, and learned to love.

Joyce Browne

Joyce accepts her beauty as a matter of fact. She is tall, blond, with good teeth, and wide open smiling-azure eyes. She talks fast, is a good dancer, and she avoids gossip with a free spirited attitude. She is a good polite listener, but sometimes, she is thinking of something more important to her mind. She doesn't have time to be introverted, but she likes to read and shares her husband Ron's quality of noticing the good things in life.

When Joyce married Ron after his first wife died, she became a mother to the three children. However she continued to hold a good job as a personal secretary. Only her mother could have guessed she could succeed so well. An impossible task, she had done it, and we were all proud of her.

I wondered how Joyce remained so calm when our taxi sped past four trucks on a blind curve, and he skimmed through the narrow cobble-stoned, crowded downtown streets of Puerto Vallarta.

Danny Browne

When a father loves his children, he sometimes overprotects them. Danny came home with Barry at midnight. He asked for a private talk with me and Barbara. He told us he had used his Master-Card to pay $2,000.00 down on a rotating condo-sharing plan. We listened to Danny and Barry as they explained what a great investment Danny had made, and how lucky Danny was to get in on this thing before the New Year. They had been told that the prices would soon skyrocket. I stopped listening in anger and went to bed with everyone mad at me. I couldn't sleep and got up to play cards by myself.

The next morning Danny acted sad but when I hugged him, told him that I loved him, he cheered up. Then Ron, Barry, and Barbara took turns warning Danny about making hasty money deals. They had all changed their tunes from the night before. Then Danny said to me,"You were right, Dad."

But Danny hadn't made up his mind yet. He had only forgiven me. Who knew what he would do?

Barbara and Barry went back to the place where Danny had made the deal. After much arguing, they got the company to negate the deal and take the $2,000 off Danny's credit card.

The Twins

Sleek, streamlined 18 year old daughters of my brother Ron. They were exuberant maidens with striking blond features wearing sexy bathing suits that do not hide their tans. Identical, they perceived themselves to be opposites. "Stacie looks good wearing her hair that way, but I would look awful," said Stephanie.

Excellent athletes, they enjoyed activity, music and dancing. They had noticed the eyes of young men, especially the Latins; for Latin men seldom hide their pleasure when they look at good looking women.

Anyone could see the twins were not yet women, and sometimes they complained about how young they were treated by their dad and Joyce who kept their eyes open looking for danger. The twins said, "Why do we have to go back home? We love it here. Can't we stay at least another week?"

The Luggage

Six of us stood outside the condo. The young doctors had left to catch their Chicago flight. The four young girls were para-sailing being pulled high over the ocean in parachutes behind a motorboat.

The rest of us stood by our ten suitcases, ten smaller bags, and Mike's sleeping bag and his surf board. It made a big pile of luggage. The first taxi driver took a look and tried to leave without us, but we made him open up his trunk. We jammed some small bags in it. Then three of us got in the car seats while the others piled stuff to the ceiling. The second taxi took the other three of us, all the rest of our bags and the surf board. One taxi had brake troubles all the way but we made it to the airport. We tipped the drivers very well, but they were glad to get rid of us. Usually they worked 16 hours a day, but they rested in the hot season.

Ron's Cadillac

After landing in Tijuana, Ron and I went to get our cars in the parking lot. Ron ran down his battery trying to start it. I asked a Mexican car-watcher (Hey senor, you want me wash you car?) and he kindly drove his own car over to cable jump start Ron's Cadillac. Ron had trouble releasing his brake so Danny took my car to get the luggage. The four girls had hailed their own taxi. The six women walked out to us in the cold dark 7 P.M. air. The brake finally released, we pushed the car onto the road and hooked up the starting cables. The Mexicans' battery worked fine for a while but the cad wouldn't run. Everyone started getting cold and nervous. We were blocking a guy's car. He wanted to leave with his girlfriend to attend a New Years Eve party in Anaheim. It turned out he and our brother, Vic, were Anaheim firemen.

We couldn't smell gas in Ron's carburetor, so the fireman disconnected a hose on my motor. Danny sucked out some gas and spit it into a coffee cup. He poured the gas into the carburetor as Joyce tried to start the car using the Mexican car-watcher's battery. It wouldn't run so we tried using the fireman's battery and the Cadillac still wouldn't start. Ron decided to leave his car at the Tijuana Airport. The four young ladies piled into the fireman's car with the man and his date. They took off for Oceanside, California where Julie's boyfriend would meet them. Much of the luggage was locked into the Cad. The rest of us crowded into my Volvo, and Barbara drove us home. At the Tijuana border a black officer wished us Happy New Year and we sang patriotic songs driving home.

We got to my house in Vista about 9 P.M. People were already arriving for Julie's New Years Eve party. Barbara and I had tickets to go to a square dance. She took a bath and went to bed for a short rest. I didn't feel like square dancing and I hoped Barbara would stay in bed and forget to wake up. I relaxed with a beer, but at 10 P.M., Barb Danced into the living room wearing her square dance outfit. I talked her into going to a dinner party in San Marcos where I fell asleep as she told everybody about our vacation. Soon it was Happy New Year, 1985.