A Funnel Introductory Paragraph:
The speaker in “The Pool Players. Seven at the Golden Shovel,” by Gwendolyn Brooks, describes a group of boys who have dropped out of school to have fun. Staying out late and following their own rules, these boys seem to be having a wonderful time. Their lives are full of excitement and free from responsibility. At the end of the poem, however, comes the line, “We die soon” and the boys’ joyride comes to a grinding halt. The images may have seemed lively, but the speaker’s praise is false. In reality, she is criticizing the boys for their mindless, destructive ways.
The introduction grabs the reader with a general—but not too general—statement that identifies or suggests the topic. I break the rules of analytical writing a bit by using a metaphor to make a point, but I think it works. The last sentence contains the thesis statement, which articulates the argument the essay will make and how the essay will be organized.
Variation on the Funnel Introduction with Outline (A generalization about “life” that builds to a thesis)
In America many kids choose the excitement of the street over school. Lured by friends and fast money, they turn their backs on the responsibilities of being a student. Once involved this life, however, they might discover that they are stuck. Their friends and their futures literally disappear. In her poem “The Pool Players. Seven at the Golden Shovel,” Gwendolyn Brooks explores this life and how the poor decisions many kids make can lead to a false sense of security and, in too many cases, death.
I. At the start of the poem, the Seven at the Golden Shovel think they’re living an exciting life.
II. Their behavior seems thoughtless and risky, yet they don’t seem to care.
III. The poem’s sarcasm. The speaker mocks the boys and reveals how foolish their lives are.
Notice how this essay would be organized by perspective—the boys’ perspective, then the speaker’s. It would also be organized by idea, moving from the ignorant view of the situation to the wiser view.
To be an effective essay, however, it would still have to establish the poem’s “story” in a clear manner.