Carrying a bag of groceries, John walked into the house and collapsed on the sofa next to Sue. He was so tired that hadn’t even put the milk he’d bought into the fridge.
“Are you tired?" she asked.
“Yes, I have been to the store,” he replied, “and it was very very crowded.”
“Since you are tired, let me put those away for you.” She took the bag from him and shuffled toward the kitchen. “Oh,” she said, stopping before she left the room, “you got a phone call.”
NOTE
What do you notice about format and punctuation? (Traditionally, people use a quotation mark to identify direct speech. Most punctuation goes inside the quotation marks. Quotations can be interrupted and a "he said/she said" often helps the reader keep from getting lost.)
When does the dialogue work, and when does it feel awkward or even boring? (Too much explaining is going on here)
RESPOND (add to the rules you developed. Do so for the rest of the sections as well.)
What are some rules you might follow to strengthen this dialogue?