DIRECTIONS: Read the passages below--they add up to a brief scene--and think of ways to improve the dialogue. Answer the questions below each passage on a separate piece of paper so that you will finish this activity with a list of ways to improve dialogue.
1.
Carrying a bag of groceries, John walked into the house and collapsed on the sofa next to Sue. He was so tired that hadn’t even put the milk he’d bought into the fridge.
“Are you tired?" she asked.
“Yes, I have been to the store,” he replied, “and it was very very crowded.”
“Since you are tired, let me put those away for you.” She took the bag from him and shuffled toward the kitchen. “Oh,” she said, stopping before she left the room, “you got a phone call.”
NOTE
What do you notice about format and punctuation?
When does the dialogue work, and when does it feel awkward or even boring?
RESPOND
What are some rules you might follow to strengthen this dialogue? (click here for my answer)
_________________
2.
-Who called?
-Your dad.
-I don’t believe it, he replied, sitting up on the sofa and scratching his chin.
-Said it was urgent you call back.
-Well, I’m not.
-Why?
-You know the reasons.
-No, I don’t.
-Well, I won’t because he never calls me.
-But he just did.
-This is different.
-How so? she asked.
-It just is.
-How so?
-He’s only calling because he thinks I’m dying.
-Why would he think that.
-Mom told him.
-Why would she lie?
NOTE
What works and doesn't work in this exchange?
What do you think about the format?
RESPOND
What are some rules you might follow to strengthen this dialogue? (click here for my answer)
___________________
3.
“Well, my mom wanted him to call me,” he said, “so she made up an outrageous lie. He fell for her trick, and because he would feel guilty if I was really ill and he hadn’t spoken to me for two years, he called.”
“Don’t you think that this is a good excuse and a good time to bury the hatchet?”
RESPOND
What are some rules you might follow to strengthen this dialogue? (click here for my answer)
___________________
4.
“Last time we talked,” he said, rubbing his chin and looking out the window, “he blamed me for Steve, said he wouldn’t have run his car off the bridge if it hadn’t of been for me.”
“He wasn’t thinking straight. You know that.”
“I know what he said.”
“Don't listen. You know he can't help himself. He calls it shooting from the hip, and he’s proud of it, but usually he misfires and hurts his friends. In this instance, after three shots of whiskey, he took aim at his son.”
He thought about all of these things. Then he stood up and took back the bag of groceries she was still holding.
“Did he leave a number?”
RESPOND
What are some rules you might follow to strengthen this dialogue? (click here for my answer)