Hash Trash - Trail 527

On April 21^st, while some were observing Passover and others were gathering their kids for Easter festivities, 10 hashers gathered in the southern reaches of Prince William County at Locust Shade Park. The half-minds haphazardly showed up one by one, to subject themselves to the sadism the hares, Can’t Talk with my Mouth Full and Taint my Juicy Pie had in store. The wankers in attendance at opening circle included Marathon Meth Man, SWWAT, Drillbert, French Toasted, Laserpuss, and Fuck Her Punch, along with visitor, Sexy Shit. At circle, the hares gave some various trail notes, to include a special Easter Egg Hunt on trail, with a special goodie in each egg, totaling 6 overall. As hares were sent away, Fuck Her Punch pointed out the Tit and Dick Check marks left on the ground at Chalk Talk, which was near a park ranger’s truck. With that, one of the hashers became creative and turned the marks into a drawing of what looked like an Easter bunny. While the pack was giving the hares a head start, Queerly I’m Straight and Wack n Spurt meandered in, with latecomer Dr. Strangelove catching up to the packing minutes after they hit the trail.

Wack n Spurt found it odd that they kept getting true trail marks at every intersection, assuming the hares were just too lazy to mark a check. On the way to beer check, three lucky wankers found three of the eggs, with either a shot of Tequila or Moonshine in each one. Soon, the trail opened up to an open field with powerlines cutting through. The trail sharply veered off the highlighted park path, leading to the other side of the clearing, to the left and around a hill to the beer check. Drillbert scoffed at the markings on the beer check bag indicating the beer check was also a back check!

Upon getting their fill of beverages, the pack worked through the back check and Wack and spurt learned that the earlier true trail marks pushed the pack past the junctions so as to not cut onto later parts of trail. Sometimes the hares DO know what they are doing, but it is usually safe to assume otherwise, so no harm no foul Wack. The pack eventually veered off the path again to a bridge containing a tit and dick check, but French Toasted was above all of that and stayed on the main path, making him FRB for the moment. Meth man, being slightly behind French Toasted got fooled by the initial true trail and after taking a familiar turn off the main path, had déjà vu. He soon learned that he was going in a circle and headed back.

Some wankers were temporarily confused when they returned back to start, but then remembered the hares pointing out trail would run by start, but to keep going. After all, who pays attention at circle anyways?? Throughout the path, some half-minds found some exercise obstacles scattered along the trail. This convinced some, such as Fuck Her Punch and Sexy Shit, to be distracted and play on the some of the obstacles. French Toasted found another egg, and another of the pack found the 5^th egg, before arriving to the shot check, with one egg left undiscovered. The group eventually gathered at shot stop next to an amphitheater to find a partially buried Easter basket containing a bottle of mimosa for them to enjoy.

The last section of trail led back to end with hashers wondering where the unaccounted for egg laid. This question was answered when Dr. Strangelove appeared with the last egg. As circle was about to start, a car drove up, decked out with floral decorations on the roof, and an enthusiastic Hispanic emerged. He talked of Jesus and how we needed to be saved from our wicked ways then got back in his car and drove away. Even Just Maggie stood there, wondering what just happened. Circle commenced recognizing Sexy Shit as visitor, who was formerly from Mountainbeers H3, but now apparently travels across the country from state to state or at least had recently, so who knows where she is currently from. The RA, Laserpuss decided to do the majority of circle sitting down, because who needs to stand when you don’t have to, right? The circle soon ended and SWWAT commandeering the hasher’s on-after announcement and convinced the pack to go to MOD instead.

With that, the pack left, to return in 3 weeks on May 12, Mother’s Day, for a trail hared by none other than our fearless RA, Laserpuss!