Hash Charter

Disclaimer: Below is the Hillbilly Hash House Harriers Charter. Some changes were made to it following the change in MM. The changes are highlighted in yellow.

Updated as of: 19 March 2019, slight formatting and edits 18JAN2023

This Association shall be known as the Hillbilly Hash House Harriers. Effective 28 February, 2009.

The Hillbilly Hash House Harriers place of meeting shall be at any club, pub, vacant lot, parking structure or premises in the Prince William, Fauquier, Culpeper, Rappahannock, Clarke, Warren, Fredrick and Shenandoah Counties of Virgin-I-A and beyond where the shiggy takes us (known heretofore after as “Here thar be Monsters!”) at which permission to meet may or may not have been obtained. Its web presence shall be at www.onin.com/Hillbilly.

1. OBJECTIVES:

To promote physical fitness amongst its members.

To get rid of weekend hangovers.

To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer.

To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel.

To prove to younger members that they are not as spry as they think they are.

2. MEMBERSHIP

Membership is open to all persons who are interested in taking part in a weekly hash.

A person wishing to join the Hash merely shows up at a Hash and is thereafter considered to be a member until such time as he notifies his intention to resign or ceases to follow the rules of the Hash.

3. ENTRANCE FEES, SUBSCRIPTIONS AND OTHER DUES:

No entrance fee is payable by Virgin hashers.

All others pay the day's fee as determined by the Hare. Hares should insure that costs don't exceed $5 per Hasher, per Hash.

Hare Fees are free not to exceed 4 Hares. Additional Hares will pay $5 each.

Exceptions for special events.

4. Mis-Management:

The Hash is to be run effectively but cooperatively.

A Mis-Management committee shall be established that will consist of the following members at a minimum:

Founder/Hash Master (not required, as of March 4, 2019), GM, Religious Advisor (RA), Hash Cash/Sign-In, Hare Raiser, Web Meister, On-Sec/Hash Scribe, Haberdasher, Beer Meister.

Committee members will serve at the leisure of the Hash and may be changed at Annual General Meeting Hash, hereafter AGM.

Any member of Mis-Management may call an early General Hash Meeting. Although nobody is likely to show without free beer. At least 1 week should be given for proper notice.

If anyone in Mis-Management wants a closed vote it is to go through the Web Meister for an online survey.

If an unscheduled Mis-Management meeting is called by any member of Mis-Management, a 24-hour lead time is required.

AGM should be held annually in February on or as near the anal-versary of this humble kennel.

Changing of Mis-Management:

Members will be changed at the AGM.

In order to remain eligible as a member of Mis-Management, a Hasher must have no fewer than 18 trails with the Hillbilly H3, have run trails with at least 5 other Hash kennels (this includes events), must show up to Hillbilly trails on a regular basis (2 X per month) have Hared at least 2 Hillbilly trails.

Should a member of Mis-Management be deemed unfit to hold a designated position, that member of Mis-Management may be replaced at any Mis-Management meeting by a majority vote. The first choice of replacement shall be the Alter-person. Should there be no Alter-person, the Mis-Management will vote on a new member of Mis-Management.

Duties of each position for Mis-Management:

Founder / Hash Master

• 1. Be main HbH3 representative at any Hash function

  2. Ensure HbH3 kennel proceeds in direction of original intent

  3. Must maintain a minimum trail attendance of 75%

  4. Invited to Mis-Management meetings to uphold intent of Founders

• GM (Grand Master)

  1. Ensure Mis-Management members are upholding standards of positions

     2. 1. Replace Mis-Management members who are not fulfilling responsibilities

  2. Speak with officials, should any question of Hash activities arise

  3. Fill any role of Mis-Management when needed

  4. Be the first point of contact for general HbH3 Hash business

  5. Be HbH3 representative if at large events (ex. DC RDR, TDH, etc.)

  6. Ensure quarterly Mis-Management meetings are conducted

  7. Defer to HbH3 Founders for direction of Hash business

  8. Maintain a minimum trail attendance of 80%

  9. Must have one to two years experience of other Mis-Management positions before being eligible for GM position

• RA

  1. Opening circle

     2. 1. Recognize visitors and virgins (ask name and who made him/her come)

        2. Lead Joe The Button Pusher

  2. End circle

     2. 1. Ask parents to take children away from circle

        2. Recognize visitors, virgins, birthdays, anniversaries, FRB, FBI, DFL

           1. 1. Visitors are called on to sing a song, tell a joke, show a body part

              2. Virgins are taught down-down by sponsor ("Hasher will put vessel of his/her choice full of beverage of choice 'BEER!' to his/her lips and that which doesn't go in him/her goes on him/her, 'Just like sucking cock!')

              3. If Virgin is a self-starter, RA is down-down demonstrator

              4. FRB and FBI don’t have to be gender specific (i.e. FRB can be female and FBI can be male)

        3. Conduct violations

        4. Passing of HashShit

        5. Open circle for announcements

        6. End by leading HbH3 song

  3. Anniversary ceremonies

     2. 1. Toe tags for virgins

           1. 1. Present when recognizing virgin

        2. Dog tags for named and worthy Hashers

           1. 1. Lead HbH3 pledge

              2. Old Mc Hasher only for worthy Hashers (newly named Hashers only get this at end of naming ceremony)

        3. Tin cup

           1. 1. Acquire donations to christen cup

              2. Lead long song during this down-down

        4. 50th Trail Toe Tag & 69th Trail Luggage Tag & 100th Trail Dog Tag

           1. 1. Merely present item

  4. Naming of Hashers

     2. 1. Inform kennel when a Hasher is going to be named at next trail attendance

        2. Bring copy of completed naming questionnaire to trail and read as Hasher filled it out

        3. Conduct questioning of to-be-named Hasher

        4. Conduct name suggestions and voting

        5. Do not name to-be-named Hasher if a good name is not devised

        6. Conduct Old McHasher once name is bestowed

        7. Acquire dog tag for newly named Hasher and present at next trail

        8. When tag is presented, have newly named Hasher say pledge

  5. Ensure continuity of HbH3 Hash traditions and general Hash traditions

  6. Have HbH3 tag pledge and HbH3 song memorized

  7. Fill in as RA during other Hash events if requested to do so

  8. Be HbH3 representative at large events (ex. DC RDR, TDH, etc.)

  9. Maintain a minimum trail attendance of 80%

• Hash Cash

  1. Collect weekly trail Hash cash

  2. Collect any additional trail fees and ensure they are distributed to the correct recipients (ex. if Hares provider On-After)

  3. Reimburse Beer Meister

  4. Keep account of all money coming into and being paid out of the Hash

  5. Monthly accounting reports to Mis-Management

• On-Sec/Hash Scribe

  1. Keep minutes at all Mis-Management meetings and distribute to all Mis-Management members

  2. Write a Hash Trash for each trail to be submitted to the Web Meister

• Hare Raiser

  1. Ensure a trail is provided every week

  2. If someone fails to sign-up to Hare, or if the Hare cannot lay trail at the last minute, the Hare Raiser is responsible for laying trail

  3. Show up to trail with additional flour, chalk, toilet paper, Hare bag, etc., in the event the Hare needs those items, or needs a co-Hare

  4. Have Hares/trails scheduled out as far as possible

  5. Provide trails (not responsible for finding the venue) for AGM, Tour Duh Hash and Full Moon

     2. 1. This does not mean the Hare Raiser has to lay the trails

        2. Beverage cost for special event trails (ex. AGM, TDH, etc.) is to be cleared with Hash Cash

  6. Provide trails for additional Hash activities if called upon (ex. Virginia Inter-Hash)

  7. Ensure the Hare Guide is followed, particularly keeping pavement to a minimum and non-alcoholic beverage at each beverage stop

  8. Assist any Hare when requested

  9. Maintain Google Map of trail starts

  10. Proof-read trail information from Hares and submit to Web Meister

      2. 1. Ideally this will be done by the Monday preceding the trail

         2. Must include a contact phone number for trail directions

  11. If a Hare fails to uphold trail standards three times in close succession, the Hare Raiser has the sole right/responsibility to censure that Hare

  12. If any Hasher is presumed lost/missing, search for that person after circle has ended.

  13. Maintain a minimum trail attendance of 80%

• Haberdasher

  1. Promote sales of Hillbilly H3 items

  2. Keep track of inventory

  3. Report sales and inventory to Hash Cash

  4. Receive approval from a majority of Mis-Management before purchasing items

  5. Maintain a list of suppliers and quality of items from those suppliers

  6. If unable to show up to trails, ensure another member of Mis-Management has items to sell

  7. Maintain a minimum trail attendance of 50%

• Sign-In

  1. Register people who have attended trail each week

     2. 1. This includes names, birthdays (or months if exact dates will not be given), date of first trail

  2. Collect Hash Cash

  3. Transfer Hash Cash for trail to Hash Cash

  4. Make note of visitors, virgins, birthdays and anniversaries and let attending RA know

  5. Maintain accurate records of trail attendance by week and by Hash year

  6. Ensure proper trail counts are given to Web Meister

  7. If Sign-In cannot go to trail, arrangements must be made with another member of Mis-Management to do this duty

  8. Keep MM apprised of anniversaries for the next three trails

  9. Maintain a minimum trail attendance of 70%

  10. Sign-In updates attendance on web site

• Web Meister

  1. Maintain www.onin.com/hillbilly

     2. 1. At the minimum keep general kennel information, weekly trail information, future trail information and trail counts up-to-date and make information easy to find

        2. Ideally include local events (Hash and non-Hash related) in an easily accessible area, local kennels, who attended which trail, who Hared which trail

  2. Keep information for past trails in an archive to allow HbH3 history to be as complete as possible (a significant portion was deleted from the previous site)

  3. Monitor the Gmail account and forward e-mail as appropriate to HbH3 Mis-Management

  4. Ensure information is current on www.half-mind.com, www.gotothehash.net, Hashwiki, Hashspace group

     2. 1. This information is to be reviewed yearly

  5. Publicize HbH3 events on Yahoo and Google groups of Virginia kennels

  6. Does not need a minimum trail attendance

• Beer Meister

  1. Provide cold beverages (beer and water minimum) for end circle each week

     2. 1. Ideally include soda and alcoholic beer alternatives

  2. Provide food, usually in the form of chips, cookies, etc.

  3. Provide trash receptacles and cups

  4. Clean coolers each week

  5. Stay within a $50 weekly budget and submit receipts to Hash Cash for reimbursement

     2. 1. Beer Meister will not be reimbursed without receipts

        2. Additional cost may be incurred for larger events (ex. Tour Duh Hash) and these expenses must be approved by Hash Cash before purchases are made

  6. Coordinate with Hares if trail is A to B

  7. If Beer Meister cannot go to the end of trail, arrangements must be made with another member of Mis-Management to do this duty

  8. Maintain a minimum trail attendance of 80%

  9. Beer needs to be kept cold during the week between trails / no dramatic temperature change

  10. No alcohol will be provided to anyone under 21 years of age

• 5. BYLAWS:

  2. 1. Hash day is Sunday. Hash Time is 1069 (11:09 am) with Hares away NLT 1200 Noon.

        1. We went virtual during the pandemic and then went to even-numbered Sundays due to low turnout. Hares away has been 1300 due to lazy misman.

     2. An unnamed Hasher is eligible to be named when they have hashed 10 times, has co-Hared once and has Hared their own trail once. The RA is responsible for determining if the hasher has proven themselves worthy of a name. Bribing the RA is acceptable.

     3. All Hashers must Hare a Hash at least twice a year.

        1. This has never been enforced.

     4. All Hashes shall be set with the established marks of the Hash. Foreign marks must be declared at Chalk Talk by the Hares.

     5. Hares and Co-Hares are responsible for providing the necessary beverages for the beer check. A good quantify of water and perhaps other options should be provided.

     6. Hares are to follow the HbH3 Hare Guide, under penalty of death.

     7. Being that the existence of Hash Kennels across the nation and world is an integral part of the fun and camaraderie of the sport; visitors should be warmly welcomed and treated as local regulars.

     8. MM reserves right to update/edit bylaws to be voted on and passed during MM tenure

        1. Some edits just executed at will my GMs...

     9. Bylaw 5(g) may be excused if the visitor is an asshole or a perv.

        1. There is a Banned H3 Facebook group that GMs should use to vet outsiders and report any troublemakers.

• 6. Commemoratives:

  1. 10 Trails (10 trails attended & 2 Hared) = blue bone dog tag

     2. 1. If a Hasher is already named, he/she shall receive a blue bone dog tag with Hash Name and Hillbilly H3engraved

        2. If a Hasher is not named, a naming ceremony will occur and a blue bone dog tag will with Hash Name and Hillbilly H3 engraved will be given at the next trail

  2. 25 Trails = tin cup

  3. 50 Trails = 50 trail toe tag

  4. 69 Trails = 69 trail luggage tag (orange webbing with 69 HbH3 Trails embroidered in black)

  5. 75 Trails = bar blade with 75 HbH3 Trails engraved in Burnstown Dam font

  6. 100 Trails = stainless steel bone shaped dog tag with Hash Name and 100 HbH3 Trails engraved

  7. 200 Trails = personalized hash mug

• 7. Hash Rules:

  2. 1. 1. No whining.

     2. 2. There is no rule #2.

     3. 3. See rule 1.

     4. 4. No stealing (see hereunder - definition of stealing):

        1. Stealing - the covert removal of another Hasher's property with the intention of depriving said hasher of such property for an indefinite period of time.

     5. 5. No stealing, but borrowing is okay (see hereunder - definition of borrowing):

        1. Borrowing - the act of covert temporary removal of another Hasher's property (property in this instance is confined to items of a portable nature and directly related to hashing such as mugs, bugles and run books). Substantial items such as kegs whilst being directly related to hashing should never be borrowed. At all times the property borrowed is held for a relatively short period of time and always returned in good order. Often such property is enhanced by suitable engraving to record for posterity the guile of the borrower. Borrowing is a complex issue and where any doubt exists the Grand Master should be consulted.

     6. 6. Rain is not permitted during Hash runs. The Religious Advisor is personally responsible for ensuring that fine conditions prevail for a period of not less than one hour each Sunday from 1:13 PM to 2:13 PM EST.

     7. 7. No tax collectors.

     8. 8. No discrimination. Unemployed, dogs, women, criminals, disabled, nymphomaniacs, hashers from Winooski, and even lawyers are all encouraged to run Hash. Alcoholics are particularly welcome. Athletes are tolerated (barely). Athletes, dogs and children, whilst permitted to run, can never aspire to become Grand Master.

     9. 9. Down-downs may not be declined, but alternate beverages or showing skin may be allowed at the discretion of the Religious Advisor or their designate.

     10. 10. No competitiveness.

     11. 11. No training. Persons caught training will be deemed to have breached rule 11 and will be liable to a charge. A range of activities may be interpreted as training, and for guidance the following non-exhaustive list is provided:

         1. (a) Running other than official Hash runs, unless a Hash event;

         2. (b) Cycling (fornication on a push bike is exempt);

         3. (c) Visiting a gymnasium for any other purpose than perving on the aerobics class;

         4. (d) Using the stairs while escalators are available; and

         5. (f) Wearing of competitive clothing at the hash.

         6. (g) New shoes will not be tolerated. Really.

     12. 12. All Hashers must commit to memory rules 1, 2, 3, 9, 10 and 18 and be able to recite them at any hour of the day or night regardless of their state of inebriation.

     13. 13. No fighting at Hash. This rule is absolute and the entire culture of Hash relies on strict adherence to this rule. If a fellow Hasher causes you immense displeasure by stealing your car or impregnating your daughter (wives are exempt) then belt shit out of him at some other place than Hash and on some other day than Sunday which is a day of reverence and tranquility – and the day of the Hash.

     14. 14. No bikes. Dykes OK.

     15. 15. Other rules may be enacted by the committee as they see fit.

     16. 16. Amendments to Rules 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, and 18 are illegal.

     17. 17. When the HashShit is awarded, the awardees’ shall bring the HashShit to all trails following the award, treat the HashShit with respect, add one item per week that the HashShit is in their possession until passed on to the next awardees’ at the behest of the Hash. HashShit retires at AGM and new HashShit is started.

     18. 18. There are no rules.

     19. Note: Bestiality is not covered in these Rules due to the proliferation of New Zealand Hashers. As this item is not incorporated in Hash rules, all behavior covered by the above note is subject to determination by the Grand Master or his designate.

• Disrespectfully submitted by Soft Serve Custer, Hillbilly H3 (this entire document was plagiarized from an infinite number of sources...)