Hash Trash - Trail 362

Hash Trash Trail 362 27 Sept 2015

“The Hillbilly Mis-Management abandons the Hash to attend VA Inter-Hash Trial”

Hare’s perspective – because that is the only one that matters!

….it was a blustery September morning when the Hare’s arrived to set chalk talk in preparation of a kennel of hashers coming out to Opal VA to gather at the old Pete’s Park and Eat….and they waited and waited and waited…..no one from HBH3 Mis-management had the courage to show up….because the rumors were true…..they were back….Soft Serve Cuter and Fire in the Corn Hole had come out of semi-retirement to hare this here tray-ail…..and HBH3 Mis-management was too scared to attend the “There is soooooo much shiggy in Opal Trail”…..The sound of gunfire at Clark Brothers, the loud antics of Lot Lizards at Quarls Truck Stop couldn’t cover the excited sound of the baying of the arrival of the hashers……Gummi! And some virgin he absconded with from Bealton, VA - Just Julie…..There was almost not enough parking spaces for these wankers!

Chalk talk commenced since Just Julie had no clue what hashing was….Gummi! made a calculated decision (?????? I know…..how did that happen????) to keep her completely in the dark on what hashing was….not only that, he did duct tape her mouth shut and had to pull her out of the trunk of his car in order to get her to start…..a True Trail arrow was laid and….they were off…..Fire took off like he was launched off a rocket pad and Custer limped after him….flinging flour on anything that was within a 30 foot radius…including the dirty hippy selling tie dyes t-shirts by the side of the road…..and that was the last the “pack” saw of Fire and Custer….until the beer check….

Trail led past an abandoned house (more on that later) and then entered the Heroes of the South Civil War Cemetrary….no one would ever know it was there…until the Hares found it and made it a point to honor our fallen Southern brethren….long live the South! The trail then entered some of the thickets, shiggiest woods this side of Lindon….until eventually the pack found themselves on PAVEMENT! What the Hell? Pavement on a Hillbilly Trail????? It was like a trail set by….no one in Hillbilly….EVER!!!! Unless of course trail winds up in the Eastern Region of S#IT territory like it has in recent months! And the there is nothing BUT pavement! Anyways…pavement lasted about 20 yards and then it was full on Shiggy….the next time the hashers entered areas where they could stand and see past 10 feet they were greeted by the Hares at the first of many beverage checks! And lo and behold…..the pack had GROWN….by one…Wacks and Spurts had ventured out to the hinterlands and joined the huge pack! And that is the last the Hares saw the pack….the hares took off like bats out of hell and it wasn’t for HOURS that the pack emerged at finish, groaning and asking for medication for all the gunshot wounds and cuts they had acquired….and the STD’s from the Lot Lizards….they marveled at the trail that included abandoned cars, water crossings, and re-crossings, ticks, spiders, woods…it was like a Grimm Fairy Tale they said…..and the BBQ began!

Fire in the Corn Hole laid out a spread (by that same abandoned house I mentioned earlier) like only he can: Brats! Chicken, Grilled Shrimp on the Barby, Venison steaks, Beef Heart, Salad’s, Fruits and Cheezes….it was amazing….Beer? Let me tell you, the beer was international…Never has so much beer been available on a Hillbilly trail…not to mention the Fire Ball shots and the Cream sickle shots….Just Julie could not stop going on and on about how much she loved hashing….right up until all the Cream sickle shots caught up with her….she went down like she had been clubbed….while Gummi! was successful in stopping him from clubbing her, Wacks did try to have his way with the vixen that is “Just Julie”….the alcohol consumption is what did her in….ever the gentleman…Gummi! did drive her home and turned her over to her loving family….oh, wait….just like Mis-Management abandoned the Hash, Just Julie’s family had abandoned her….no one was home to take her off his hands….so Gummi! did the responsible thing and pushed her into her living room and closed the door….with him on the outside….he did call later and checked on her and she was all right…..and promised to come out to another hash….someday!

Until Mis-management returns and try’s to prove me wrong….this is my story and I am sticking to it…….

SSC