By Hava Friedland

This week's torah portion is Parashat Miketz. Remember that bro Joseph? His older brothers sold him into slavery and then lied to his dad and said he was dead. Older siblings suck, amirite. #backstabigail

In this chapter of the holy bible, Joseph's talented for interpreting dreams is discovered by the Pharaoh. Joseph predicts that the land of Egypt will have 7 years of plenty, followed by 7 years of famine. Pharaoh gives Joseph a high court position, and puts him in charge of collecting grain for the famine ahead.

When the famine begins, Jacob sends his sons (Joseph's brothers) to the city to buy food from Joseph. When they arrive, Joseph recognizes them and weeps. Then he decides to play a trick on them. First he calls the men spies, and takes Simeon as a prisoner until they agree to bring back their youngest brother as well. The brothers go home and return with Benjamin, and then during their second visit Joseph hides a silver goblet in Benjamin's things. When the goblet is discovered, Joseph declares that he will take Benjamin as a slave as punishment. His brothers are beside themselves. And that's the end of the parashah.

When I got to the end of this bible story a few days ago on my computer, I was like, wait wut. This is a pretty intense prank to play on someone; slavery is not a joke. And spoiler alert, Joseph is going to forgive his brothers eventually. So then why would he play such a terrible trick on them?

While anything can be forgiven, this does not mean anything can be, or should be, forgotten. When I hear about human rights violations around the world, about bombings and other violence, I think about the people who are behind these awful acts. I want to believe in shivyon erech haadam, and that even these people who commit the worst sins have some humanity within them. I want to forgive them, without ever letting them off

the hook for what they have done. When I think about the conflict in Israel, I remind myself of this duality often.

Joseph can forgive his brothers, but what they did to him can't be forgotten. They sold him into slavery, for crying out loud--many people would call that unforgivable. Joseph must feel extremely upset, and clearly is not ready when he first encounters his brothers again to forgive them. He wants to, in some small way, punish or strike back at them for the hurt they caused him. While I don't know if I agree with the method he chooses, I don't think the details of his trick matter so much. The point of it is to make a statement about the wrongs they committed against him. Once he has done that, eventually he can forgive. His prank is not kind, and it doesn't make anything more "fair," but he is only able to forgive if he demands that what has happened not be forgotten.

This shabbat, I'd like to encourage us all to think about the differences between forgiving and forgetting-- how to open our hearts to forgiveness while honoring those who have been wronged, oppressed, marginalized, or otherwise hurt by other human beings.