By Basha Harris

This week’s parsha, Chayei Sarah (the Lives of Sarah), is titled in a way which makes us assume that we are about to read a story honoring the long life ofSarah. "FINALLY, a story centered around a woman," we think, but we soon find that it speaks very little of her story. The general gist of this portion is thatSarah dies at 127 years old and is buried in Hebron. Directly following her death, Abraham (Sarah’s widow) begins searching for a bride – soon to be Rebecca - for their son Isaac. You can find a cool interpretation in the form of a poem here.

On one hand, I feel uncomfortable with the lack of attention paid to Sarah’s story in this parsha, and feel that the attention is immediately taken away from the woman to the men of the family, as the majority of ‘Chayei Sarah’ is focused on Abraham and Isaac and their satisfaction. This adds to a long list of how the Torah displays and encourages specific problematic gender roles, which never ceases to make my blood boil.

However, I am less bothered by the lack of Sarah’s narrative in this specific parsha because it is focused on moving forward from death rather than passively mourning (which is still importance and valid!) or dedicating everything to G-d. A few interpretations of the portion talk about Abraham and Isaac’s search for a bride as finding a presence in their life similar to Sarah’s. This is the aspect of the portion which I connect to most, and which I believe to be the most important for all of us to ponder: searching for a part of our identities that can often be lost when someone or something important becomes absent in our lives.

This idea is incredibly relevant to my life in all ways – thinking about Israel and its physical, mental, and emotional distance from me, ‘losing’ youthfulness through stresses that come with more responsibility, and desperately looking for even the smallest glimpses of beauty and importance in everything in order to stay motivated to keep going, whatever that may mean.

I hope this interpretation has felt at least mildly relevant to you, and that you too are actively searching for ways to move forward in whatever you do. It’s amazing and often baffling to me that we can all be connected by this network of Habonim Dror [North America], but so many of us utilize the skills learned through Habonim to educate others how to feel empowered and to act. You all amaze me!