By Maxine Gross

This week's parshah is one that is well known among us Jews, but probably because it is the highlight of every Passover story. At the beginning of this text, the Israelites find themselves trapped between the Sea of Reeds and Pharaoh, who recently changed his mind about allowing them to leave Egypt. At this point, the Jews begin to lose faith. Many cry out that they would rather be slaves then die. Still, Moses has faith and when G-d commands him to lift his staff over the water of the sea, it splits in half, allowing the Israelites to pass through, out of Egypt. The sea then closes over the pursuing Egyptians, and the Israelites rejoice. They sing songs, they dance, and they praise G-d for what he has done. This is not the end of the hardships though. The Israelites begin the long journey through the desert, thirsty and hungry, and like a good old stereotype, complaining. Just when they again feeling iffy about their faith, G-d sends fresh water, manna and quails to the Israelite camp. This is where we first learn that Saturday is the day of rest, and at the end, Aaron puts some manna in a jar as a testimony to future generations.

I chose to write this d’var torah because five years ago, I was at shul, presenting my own d’var torah for this exact parshah. I thought it would be cool if I went back into that d’var torah to see what my 13-year-old self thought about this parshah, and interestingly enough, I had some really awesome things to say. There is one specific question that I want to look at. Why did the Israelites loose faith in G-d? By now they had already seen the awesome things that G-d could do with the ten plagues, why question when they were in the most need?

My 13-year-old self and my 18-year-old self agree on this: The Israelites were afraid. I know, it’s so simple, but I can tell you from experience, fear is one of the most crippling things in the world. The Israelites were afraid of freedom, remember they had always been slaves, they didn’t know how to be on their own, or how to make their own

decisions. That whole concept terrified them to the point of doubting their faith. Still, Moses and his sibling’s faith had G-d come and split the sea, leading the Jews to safety, to freedom.

I think that this concept of fear needing to be pushed through is one that everyone can relate to. Everyone has a time where they lose faith in something they truly care about, and then only after a wild turn of events, a sign even, you have hope again, you believe that things will get better. 70 years ago, Jews who were prisoners in Auschwitz had lost faith that they would survive. Some had lost faith that G-d would help them, but others had not. Then that sign came, that regaining of hope, liberation. This week I watched the HBO documentary “Night Will Fall” (Which I urge you all to watch) and for the first time truly understood not only where that loss of faith was coming from, but what that regaining of faith felt like. I can only imagine that the feeling was in some ways similar to what the Israelites felt when they saw the sea collapse over the Egyptians, and notice for the first time, that they were free.

On a personal note, I know that recently I have been struggling with my faith in kvutzah. As someone who will not be attending Workshop next year, what will that mean for my place in my kvutzah? What will that mean for my place in the movement? I am sure that everyone has struggled with a similar issue at 18, but this FOMO I am starting to feel has begun to make me loose faith of some sorts. I guess I am just waiting for that sign, to reaffirm that everything is going to be ok.

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