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Sunday Family Humour 26th April - Page 3
Sunday Family Humour 26th April - Page 3
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons, presentations and humour for all the family
A very special thank you to all contributors.
BROKE BACK DEER CAMP
The guys were all at a deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you?"
He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!"
He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning
he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed.
"Good morning," he said.
They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed, patted his rear and kissed him good
night. Daryl sat up and watched me all night ."
Some of this is nearly English.... Sentences in REAL letters written to Councils in the UK by residents in Council houses/flats.
1. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father burnt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are plain filthy.
11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third.
So please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
20. I have had the clerk work down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.
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Street Artist...new stuff
Edgar Mueller Super Artist
Great Crevase Edgar Mueller. Hard work: Together with up to five assistants,
Mueller painted all day long from sunrise to sunset. The picture appeared on the
East Pier in Dun Laoghaire , Ireland , as part of the town's Festival of World Cultures
He spent five days, working 12 hours a day, to create the 250 square metre image of the crevasse,
which, viewed from the correct angle, appears to be 3D. He then persuaded passers-by to complete
the illusion by pretending the gaping hole was real.
'I wanted to play with positives and negatives to encourage people to think twice about everything
they see,' he said. 'It was a very scary scene, but when people saw it they had great fun playing on
it and pretending to fall into the earth. 'I like to think that later, when they returned home, they might
reflect more on what a frightening scenario it was and say, "Wow, that was actually pretty scary".'
Mueller, who has previously painted a giant waterfall in Canada , said he was inspired by the British 'Pavement
Picasso' Julian Beever, whose dramatic but more gentle 3D street images have featured in the Daily Mail.
This guy is amazing no matter how you look at it!
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