Sunday Family Humour 18th October Page 3

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures and cartoons and presentations and humour or all the family

A very special thank you to all contributors.

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16 of the ugliest creatures known to mankind

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The World at Night

Thanks to David H

Mr Bean in Hell

A Sick Mind?

The Amazing Cucumber

Even if you don't like Cucumbers,

this is worth reading.

It's really surprising.

he Amazing Cucumber

This information was in The New York Times several weeks ago

as part of their "Spotlight on the Home" series

that highlighted creative and fanciful ways

to solve common problems.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day,

just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1,

Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6,

Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron,

Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda

and pick up a cucumber.

Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins

and Carbohydrates that can provide that

quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up

after a shower?

Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror,

it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing,

spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds?

Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden

will be free of pests all season long.. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable

to humans but drive garden pests crazy

and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite

before going out or to the pool?

Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area

for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause

the collagen in your skin to tighten,

firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility

of cellulite.

Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache?

Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed

and wake up refreshed and headache free.

Cucumbers contain enough sugar,

B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients

the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium,

avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries

and often used by European trappers,

traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize

that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes?

Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe,

its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine

that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge?

Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic

hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage,

facial or visit to the spa?

Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water,

the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber

with react with the boiling water

and be released in the steam,

creating a soothing,

relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress

in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch

and realize you don't have gum or mints?

Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth

with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath,

the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth

responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets,

sinks or stainless steel?

Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface

you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish

and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks

and won't harm your fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake?

Take the outside of the cucumber

and slowly use it to erase the pen writing,

also works great on crayons and markers

that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking for better

and safer ways to solve life's everyday problems.

See you next week

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