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Sunday Family Humour 14th June Page 2
Sunday Family Humour 14th June Page 2
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
What we will be forced to drive Soon?
But look at all of the 'great new choices'
We will have from 'The SMART Car'....
The Smorvette!
The Smaudi A3 AWD!
The Smamborghini!
The Smorsche!
The Smorsche Targa!
And last, but not least,
The Smerrari!
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Robberies
Robberies
A terrific illusion
A terrific illusion
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Perks of reaching 50
Or being over 60
And heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way..
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live 'without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about Pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.
18. Your supply of braincells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice this is all in big print for your convenience.
ONE MORE THING:
Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
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One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person,
'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers,
'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks:
'Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.'
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