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AR 30:41 - Most-common personality traits of cult leaders, explained

In this issue:

CULTISM - on maintaining "your own mind, conscience, and freedom to ask questions and freedom to leave [a group] without fear of threats or a dissociative disorder"

GENDER IDEOLOGY - "saying 'anybody that says anything else is a bigot' is not a very helpful strategy"

Apologia Report 30:41 (1,730)
November 21, 2025

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CULTISM

"The 9 Most Common Personality Traits in Cult Leaders: Cult and mental health experts reveal the characteristics often found in those who seek to control and manipulate others" by Caroline Bologna (HuffPost, Oct 4 '25) -- "With hit documentaries like 'Love Has Won' and 'Escaping Twin Flames' and podcasts like 'Let's Talk About Sects' and 'Escaping NXIVM,' it's clear the public fascination with all things cult is alive and well. ...

   "Ashlen Hilliard, a cult intervention specialist and founder of People Leave Cults, told HuffPost [that] When you take a closer look, a cult leader often exhibits a classic set of traits and behaviors."

   Of these "nine most common" traits, most may seem less threateningly ominous: 'Charisma,' 'Inability to Tolerate Being Wrong, Unpredictability, Insecure Attachment Issues, and a Sense of Grandiosity.'

   Nevertheless, the remainder of the traits mentioned can more obviously be seen as virulently nefarious: "Delusion," "Malignant Narcissism," and "Exploitation." All are discussed further.

   Useful insights include: "Cult leaders frequently make their followers feel as though they need to work hard to earn the leader's trust, rather than the other way around" and, "You can be a total fanatic fan [of anything] and still have your own mind, conscience, and freedom to ask questions and freedom to leave without fear of threats or a dissociative disorder." <www.tinyurl.com/5n7dnk3u>

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GENDER IDEOLOGY

"The Growing Divide in the Rainbow Coalition: More gay people are speaking out against the gender ideology of trans and queer activists" by Pamela Paul (Wall Street Journal, Oct 31 '25) -- in 2017, when he was in his 20s, Ben Appel interned at GLAAD, an LGBTQ advocacy group. "But when Appel later enrolled at Columbia University, eager to learn about the theories behind his activism, the rhetoric he encountered felt more like dogma than inquiry. 'According to queer theory, if you're a man who behaves in "unmasculine" ways or wears eyeliner you must be a woman inside, which I thought was regressive,' Appel, who graduated in 2020, recalled. ... 'Saying that those superficial attributes are what make women women, and that any variation on the rough he-man stereotype means you're not a man, reinforces these rigid sex roles'....

   "In his book 'Cis White Gay: The Making of a Gender Heretic,' <www.tinyurl.com/bddzuypp> Appel argues that gender ideology is 'illiberal, regressive and anti-gay'....

   "More than three dozen in-depth interviews with gay men, lesbian women, bisexuals and transgender people, along with surveys and several new books, including 'The End of the Gay Rights Revolution' by Ronan McCrea, <www.tinyurl.com/426en662> ... reveal a complicated—and contentious—relationship between the LGB and TQ+ components of what advocacy organizations and the Democratic party refer to as 'LGBTQ+ people.' 

   "While gay and lesbian people emphasized that they oppose discrimination and harassment of transgender adults, they resent being 'force teamed,' 'taken over' or 'erased' by trans and queer ideologues, especially when gay people constitute 90% of those Gallup categorizes as LGBTQ+. ... To most LGBTQ+ groups this attitude is nothing short of trans exclusion and antithetical to their principles.  

   "These disagreements stem from radically different ways of viewing identity. Gay people typically see their homosexuality as fundamentally grounded in biology and based on attraction to people of the same sex. Transgender people instead prioritize gender identity, defined by the Human Rights Campaign, <hrc.org> an LGBTQ+ advocacy group, as 'one's innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither.' Meanwhile, queer theory argues that both sex and gender exist on a spectrum and are often fluid, allowing for labels like nonbinary and genderqueer. 

   "There have always been fault lines within the rainbow coalition. But in the past 10 years, ever since the right to gay marriage was secured in 2015, further divisions have emerged and expanded, along with growing rancor and vitriol. All of which belies the overriding image of inclusion touted by advocacy groups." Paul includes background on the blowups which 'regularly erupt over these conflicts.' ...

   "'Everyone is hellbent on sticking together because they think there's strength and validation in numbers, but that's not true,' says Arielle Scarcella, <www.youtube.com/@arielle> a 39-year-old Brooklyn-based YouTuber who frequently posts videos critiquing gender theory and trans activism to her 800,000 followers. 'I think there's safety in sanity, because people can understand things that make sense, and none of this makes sense. You now have straight people calling themselves queer because they have purple hair and are non-monogamous.'  

   "To Jose Arango, immigrating to America at 17, after growing up in 'conservative, religious homophobic' Colombia.... the more he read about queer theory, the more Arango rejected the concept of gender identity. 'It was all based on stereotypes,' he said, and anathema to gay kids like himself who were teased for not being 'manly' enough. ...

   "'There's a 'Don't be ungrateful' tone especially aimed at gays who never knew a gay world before gender ideology took over,' Arango explained. ...

   "Many gays and lesbians say gender identity strips same-sex attraction of its meaning. 'Transgender and queer activists have disappeared the idea of sex, and that means getting rid of the idea of sexual orientation and the whole basis of being gay,' says Ann Menasche, 72, a civil-rights lawyer and lifelong gay rights activist based in San Diego. 'I'm on the far left, but this really is not progressive.'

   "Menasche was one of several interviewees who lost jobs for expressing similar views. 'What we're seeing is a witch hunt against lesbians,' she said. ...

   "Barney Frank, the first openly gay member of Congress, has been in this fight for a long time. ... 

   "Certain disagreements within the movement are substantive, Frank conceded in an interview. 'A lot of gay people don't buy into this notion that there is no such thing as biological gender or support the insistence that male to female transgender people should be granted entry to women's-only spaces without clothing,' Frank said. ... But even what Frank refers to as 'basic rights' are fiercely disputed.

   "Every gay and lesbian person interviewed agreed that transgender people should be free from discrimination and harassment in housing and employment, as decided by the Supreme Court in the 2020 case, Bostock v. Clayton County, which extended the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to sexual orientation and gender identity. But when it comes to altering the sex indicated on a birth certificate or passport, which 66% of Americans oppose, many raised objections. ...

   "For many gay people, the LGBTQ+ movement's overwhelming support for pediatric gender transition is their biggest point of difference. They consider this a kind of conversion therapy akin to conservative efforts to 'treat' gay youth by suppressing their sexual desires and becoming straight. (Research shows the majority of kids seeking gender transition report same-sex attraction.) In state houses from Georgia to California, some of the most vocal opponents to what proponents call gender-affirming care for minors are gay and lesbian adults. They fear that America is inadvertently following the homophobic biases of countries like Iran, where homosexuality is illegal and gay people are forced to choose between prison or gender transition. ...

   "Nevline Nnaji, a 35-year-old artist who blogs about race, gender and creativity under the name N3VLYNNN, has lost friends and relationships as a result of her outspoken rejection of gender ideology and her insistence on lesbian and sex-based rights. She also resents some LGBTQ+ advocates' comparisons of transgender oppression to racial oppression, which she sees as illogical. ...

   "Recent data also suggests that after a decade of dramatic increases, fewer young people are identifying as trans or nonbinary.

   "Earlier this month, a widely circulated post on the Gender Crossroads Substack, 'A Plea to My Fellow Trans People,' <www.tinyurl.com/yvrar3z9> declared the 'honeymoon phase for trans acceptance' to be over. It read in part, 'Part of me can't help feeling that we as a community have brought some of this on ourselves, by refusing to talk with people who hold different beliefs from our own (the 'no debate' policy so common among trans activist circles), and by insisting that anyone who might have questions about the recent proliferation of gender identities is a transphobe.'

   "'To say this one narrative is the true narrative and anybody that says anything else is a bigot is not a very helpful strategy,' the post's author, Stefan, a 46-year-old trans man who transitioned in his 20s, said in an interview. 'It doesn't really show much empathy for other people.'" <www.archive.is/aAVpQ>

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