The trolley problem is one of the biggest questions in philosophy. Many people would say, “I would pull the lever” or “I would do nothing.” But today, I will be making up my own custom trolley problems, each one more absurd than the next, and polling the people of Explore on how they would handle them.                                                                                                                                                

First, the classic trolley problem. A trolley is heading towards five innocent people, but you can pull a lever, diverting it to the other track, killing one person instead. What do you do? Fellow journalist Timothy Jette tackled this question in a previous article, with many interesting responses.

For this article, Jette agreed to give his own take on the classic trolley problem.

This is what he said: “My name is Timothy, and I would probably pull the lever because I think it is disingenuous to not pull the lever and say you couldn't do anything.”

Now for our first custom trolley problem. A trolley is heading towards five people, there is no lever and the rope holding the people down is indestructible. Do you try to help them, risking your life just so you can say you tried, or do you leave them to die?

I will be interviewing my ELA teacher named Mr Kraft. This is what he said: “I’m Mr. Kraft. I would risk my life to help them to a point. Since the rope is indestructible, I would exhaust all other options to extract the people from their situation. If all that fails, however, there isn’t much else I can do.”

Maybe that was a little too hard, let's do something a little easier. A trolley is heading towards five innocent people, you can pull the lever, sending the trolley towards a steep pit, having the 10 people in the trolley unexpectedly fall to their doom, with a 50% chance of killing everyone in the trolley, or no one in the trolley. What do you do?

We will be interviewing my math proficiency teacher,  Ms Teschlog. This is what she said: “I would tell the five innocent people that they should have listened better during the NJ Transit presentation, then cover my eyes to avoid responsibility for whatever happens next.”

Well that was very unexpected. Now we will be doing our third custom problem. A trolley is heading towards five people, but instead of pulling a lever, you could press a button sending a robot back in time to destroy the trolley that 50 workers spent twenty years of their life to make. What do you do?

I will be interviewing one of my best friends, Aidan Urena. This is what he said: “My name is Aidan, I would press the button because even though it was 20 years of work, that is 5 people’s lives at risk.” 

For this next one we will be working with spaceships instead of trolleys. An asteroid is heading towards earth, and you could send a rocket filled with chemicals that will mutate almost every living thing that's not human on this planet, turning them into bloodthirsty monsters. Do you launch the rocket, or do you let everything die, including you?

This time we will be interviewing Zoe Cameron, an 8th grader at Explore. This is what she said: ”It’s not my problem, I would let someone else choose for me.”

Well, that's all the time I have left! 

Published to the Wolfpack Press: March 5, 2025.