Two days ago, for approximately three seconds, my eight-month-old son stood perfectly still while holding on to nothing but the toy in his hands. His reaction when he realized his position was one of sheer terror. His legs began to shake, his knees stiffened, his arms flailed, his torso swayed back and forth, and his face contorted into something akin to Edvard Munch’s The Scream. So what did I, loving and devoted father, do in this situation? I perched and sat and nothing more. I thought all sorts of things: Is he going to fall? Why haven’t I baby proofed the house yet? Why am I just sitting here asking myself rhetorical questions instead of helping him? How is he maintaining eye contact right now? Is he judging my parenting? In the microseconds it took me to think all of these things, he regained his composure and gently lowered himself into a squatting position before casually falling over, still maintaining eye contact and definitely judging my parenting. Balance is a tricky thing.

As an IB Learner Profile attribute, balance is about more than the ability to stand without falling (although that’s part of it, too). It is about living a balanced life, giving proper attention to intellectual, physical, and emotional well-being and progress. Ask any DP student in the midst of Extended Essay and Internal Assessment deadlines how balanced their lives feel and most will likely meet your question with an eye roll at best. You will likely get a similar response from the average MYP student near the end of a term or semester when they are facing deadlines for several major assessments or assignments. Some of that imbalance can be alleviated with good self-management from the student and scaffolded and varied deadlines from teachers. Parents can help by working with their children to set schedules that allow for study breaks, healthy meals with family, exercise, interaction with friends, and reasonable sleep schedules. Even with all of that effort and planning from students, parents, and teachers, there will still be times when deadlines pile up, stress builds, and students sacrifice physical and emotional health and well-being for more work. IB Learner Profile balance is a tricky thing.

Balance is not about always remaining calm in the face of adversity and it is not about giving equal focus to all things at all times. Balance is a struggle that takes time and effort to establish, maintain and improve. The challenge for students is often where to begin and how to avoid the pitfall solution of ‘study more, sleep less’. The challenge for teachers is often balancing collaboration, inquiry, and student independence with the demands of rigorous IB programs. As school leaders, one challenge is building schedules that allow time for students to learn the skills required to develop a healthy and balanced lifestyle. As for parents, I imagine balancing when to support and when to sit back and let your child struggle and build resilience is a major challenge. I say “I imagine . . . ” because my son is a baby and is still working on being balanced in the simplest of terms. Balance, whether defined by the IB Learner Profile or otherwise, is tricky for all of us. Fortunately, none of us have to figure it out alone. The GJS community is a great support network for all of us when we’re feeling a little out of balance and need somebody to lean on. All we have to do is ask.

*If you want to see balance through the eyes of some of our students, come to the Year 9 assembly at 11:10 am on Friday, April 3.

You don’t have a lot to say about what’s coming at you in life,

but you have everything to say about who you are in response to it.

This is one of the most important things I ever learned, and it has made a huge impact on the quality of my life and the life others I know who also understand its power. It does not mention how you should respond. Instead, it speaks of who you are, who you choose to be. It is not merely positive thinking. It is a way of living life so that when something happens, it ‘shows up’ as an opportunity to express ourselves in a more powerful, creative and inspired way rather than as a victim of the circumstances that life has thrown at us.

Have you ever tried to get someone to do something with you that you really like doing? A favorite hobby, a visit to an art exhibition or museum, or just to sit with you and watch your favorite movie? How did that work out? They just don’t get it, do they?! I mean, it’s STAR WARS! Why wouldn’t they be excited? My wife used to think I would be super excited to watch her try on shoes… for 3 hours… on a weekend. We all know how that turned out.

All those things are just the circumstances. I am sure you could list dozens more: went to the store and what you needed was sold out, someone was late to an appointment, friend’s child got better grades, macet, data habis, etc.

Who you are – who you choose to be – is where the circumstances ‘show up.’ Think of it like this: every year, Ibu Widy puts a box outside her office so people can put in items they want to donate to the Pasar Murah CAS Project. I have something at home that ‘shows up’ for me as something I don’t need anymore, something that is just taking up space, something that is just getting in the way, something not worth keeping. When I put it in the box, it becomes something else. It becomes sedekah, a donation, a way to help people, a kindness. The thing I put in the box (the circumstance) is still the same, but it is also not the same.

When Ibu Widy put the sign on the box, it was like a declaration – and that is a powerful word: declaration – that this box (that used to hold boxes of tissue) is now a box that holds hope, concern, care and compassion. The box is what made the item ‘show up’ differently.

We have that power, too. We can decide who we want to be, what our sign says, so that when circumstances occur, they ‘show up’ as an opportunity to express ourselves in a more powerful, creative and inspired way. We have to choose, though, because the ‘default setting’ for humans seems to be that it’s all about the circumstances when, in fact, we can choose for it to be all about the box.

“If today I choose to be a blank canvas, every soul I encounter becomes an opportunity for mutual self-expression. They are paint and brush and palette, and I am possibility.” (ahd)

Andy Dougharty

Principal for Well-Being and Pastoral Care