How to Craft a Good Thesis Statement

By WILL LONGFIELD

What is a thesis statement? 

Your thesis statement is the essential 'answer' your essay gives to its respective essay question or stimulus. Many students struggle with the momentous task that is writing the perfect thesis statement to earn maximum marks, particularly in the HSC subjects that require extended essay responses: English, History, Art, Music, Drama, Business Studies, Society & Culture. It seems the essay is inescapable.

Give me an example! I hear you all internally cry. Well, do you know why you do that? It's because a human inherently has a short attention span, and we demand to Know The Meaning Of This when we are presented with new information. It's the reason news articles get to the point extremely quickly, and make the author's position known. Before the age of the Tweet and the 140-character attention span, epic-verse writers knew they had to 'signpost' or 'telegraph' their meaning early and often, and when matters of seriousness such as magistrate's law judgments, a doctor's prognosis, or political matters of diplomacy tended to get into long winded information, a thesis statement became useful to summarise the information quickly for those who only have time to glance at a long document. 

In ancient times, the concept of a thesis was put forth by Aristotle, in his Topics, Book I:

Sounds confusing? Well, he was talking about an early form of  Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis, a triad of philosophy sometimes referred to as Hegelian Dialectics after a 19th Century German philosopher called Hegel continued this discursive manner of establishing truth. Plato structured many of his discussions as a back and forth dialogue between a teacher and students, and this influenced the development of a thesis for many generations afterward. A little too advanced even for English Advanced, so don't worry. That's ok, we can update and go to Google's definition now, and you can stop panicking:

We deal with the first definition when writing English essays for the HSC in any of the subjects mentioned above , and our thesis needs to have evidence to back it up in the form of arguments and quotes in our body paragraphs of our essay.

Crafting a thesis, however, is not something that can be done without careful planning.  Here are a few tips to make sure you are crafting the best possible response for your assessments and exams:

Reverse Engineer Your Thesis

By attempting to 'start' the writing process by coming up with a thesis, we can sometimes limit ourselves, forcing our writing with a rigid definition that we want to adhere to in order to make our argument stronger.

But does it really? Consider the planning process of writing an essay. You know you need evidence and examples from the text to make your argument up, so you read the text and perhaps annotate good quotes that you think could support an argument.

By setting yourself up with a series of quotes, techniques, and their effects on meaning, you can often develop a thesis statement from the ways in which your arguments connect. 

For instance, if your essay question was about the role of ambition in Macbeth, and you identified:

•  the symbolism of the dagger and blood, 

• the 'out, out, damned spot!'  soliloquy, and

• the hamartia of Macbeth leading to the unravelling of his ambition,  

• the resultant catastrophe at the end of the play;

You would indeed be presented with many resonances between the larger themes and ideas of these arguments, and writing your thesis at that point of the drafting process makes so much more sense than attempting to generate one before. 

This is not to say that you can't start with a pure idea or vision for your essay and pick your quotes and techniques judiciously in order to reinforce that vision; it just might not be the most efficient method every time.

Don't get unnecessarily wordy or intellectual

Some students do tend to have a GIANT idea that can't ideally be squashed into the 30 or so words of a thesis statement. So they tend to up the sophistication level of certain words in order to convey complex ideas, and the end results can be... less than ideal, to say the least.

If your thesis is too complicated, you may find it both difficult to argue with evidence, and it may be too much information for your poor marker / reader / teacher. The human brain LIKES to read complex ideas, however it can get bogged down when presented with too much flowery language. Make your point as simple as possible in your thesis statement, and attempt the more complex definitions with your body paragraphs.

Use the NESA rubric and glossary words judiciously

The NESA rubrics contain the types of vocabulary students can expect to encounter while engaging with the ideas from the unit. Historically the rubric statement has been the place where teachers and students of English derived most of the language, that they would use to discuss concepts in their essays, from.

For instance, the Texts and Human Experiences rubric makes specific use of vocabulary such as 'individual' and 'collective' human experiences, the Module A Textual Conversations unit in Advanced speaks of 'resonances' and 'dissonances' within the texts compared, and the glossary contains definitions of assessment verbs such as 'describe', 'explain', 'analyse',  and 'evaluate'.

While overdoing it and simply regurgitating the rubric statement is not the recommended method of applying these words, judiciously selecting words and key phrases can increase the clarity of your thesis statement considerably.

Focus your topic to where you want it using your thesis

A thesis is a focused area within a broader topic. For example:

   Broad Topic                      Narrowed Topic                                              Focused Topic

      Hamlet                          Insanity in Hamlet                                              Hamlet uses insanity to his advantage

           Vegetarianism           Health Questions re Vegetarianism          Veg’s are healthier than meat eaters

           Gun Control                NRA Provisions for Gun Control                NRA uses sportsmen's rights as a political ploy

Consider how focused you want your thesis and overall essay to be and choose a topic to suit. Too broad and you end up lacking evidence of your depth of understanding, too focused and you risk omitting valuable and relevant information that would support your argument or match the assessment criteria more thoroughly.

Thesis Checklist (taken from Audience, Purpose and Thesis)

Since honest and responsible self-evaluation is necessary to good writing, here are a few tips and helpful questions you might ask yourself regarding thesis and writing in general.  Since a thesis will often grow in the process of its own development, a certain amount of revision and adjustment is necessary to the success of your final product.  Don’t feel irrevocably tied to the first version of your thesis.  While your general purpose might still be the same, the way to this purpose needs to be fine-tuned after your first draft is in your hand.

Re-consider your statement

• After your draft is in the revision stage, underline what you consider to be your thesis statement.

• Is it focused or is it still too broad?

• Does it “fit” with what the rest of your essay says, or might it (or your body) need an adjustment?

• Is your statement efficiently introduced or does it just explode onto the scene with no prior discussion or reader-related preparation?

Continuity and Logical Progression of Thesis

• Read each of your work’s paragraphs as if they stood alone.

• Paraphrase each paragraph.(Define each paragraph’s main idea in one sentence)

• Consider how each distinct paraphrase relates to the thesis you intend to support.

• Consider each paragraph as a link in a chain of meaning.

• Are there any weak links?

• How can you strengthen them?

• Look for smooth transitions between paragraphs.

• How does the last sentence of one paragraph “link” with the leading sentence of the following paragraph?

• Does a following paragraph relate to the previous paragraph, have its say, and anticipate the next paragraph?

• Re-read introduction and conclusion (skip the body).  Do they “talk” about the same thing or have you discovered that you have gone off-line in the process of developing your body?

• Is there any chance that you might consider your conclusion as a better introduction because it states what your paper says more clearly than your original intro?

Words of Transition

Here are few words that will allow you to maintain your focus and smooth out paragraph transitions.  Try to apply these transitional tools whenever you need to make connections between thoughts or use them as progressive links to join ideas.

      Although    Therefore          Hence           On the other hand      In this sense . . .

      Similarly     Conversely       Thus             According to . . .      Because

Example thesis statements for ARGUMENTATIVE/PERSUASIVE essays taken from https://www.servicescape.com/blog/25-thesis-statement-examples-that-will-make-writing-a-breeze . Note the language employed and pick and choose good words to include in your own theses.

1. Vaccinations Because many children are unable to vaccinate due to illness, we must require that all healthy and able children be vaccinated in order to have herd immunity.

2. Educational Resources for Low-Income Students Schools should provide educational resources for low-income students during the summers so that they don't forget what they've learned throughout the school year.

3. School Uniforms School uniforms may be an upfront cost for families, but they eradicate the visual differences in income between students and provide a more egalitarian atmosphere at school.

4. Populism The rise in populism on the 2016 political stage was in reaction to increasing globalization, the decline of manufacturing jobs, and the Syrian refugee crisis.

5. Public Libraries Libraries are essential resources for communities and should be funded more heavily by local municipalities.

6. Cyber Bullying With more and more teens using smartphones and social media, cyber bullying is on the rise. Cyber bullying puts a lot of stress on many teens, and can cause depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. Parents should limit the usage of smart phones, monitor their children's online activity, and report any cyber bullying to school officials in order to combat this problem.

7. Medical Marijuana for Veterans Studies have shown that the use of medicinal marijuana has been helpful to veterans who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Medicinal marijuana prescriptions should be legal in all states and provided to these veterans. Additional medical or therapy services should also be researched and implemented in order to help them re-integrate back into civilian life.

8. Work-Life Balance Corporations should provide more work from home opportunities and six-hour workdays so that office workers have a better work-life balance and are more likely to be productive when they are in the office.

9. Teaching Youths about Consensual Sex Although sex education that includes a discussion of consensual sex would likely lead to less sexual assault, parents need to teach their children the meaning of consent from a young age with age appropriate lessons.

10. Whether or Not to Attend University A degree from a university provides invaluable lessons on life and a future career, but not every high school student should be encouraged to attend a university directly after graduation. Some students may benefit from a trade school or a "gap year" where they can think more intensely about what it is they want to do for a career and how they can accomplish this.

11. Studying Abroad Studying abroad is one of the most culturally valuable experiences you can have in college. It is the only way to get completely immersed in another language and learn how other cultures and countries are different from your own.

12. Women's Body Image Magazines have done a lot in the last five years to include a more diverse group of models, but there is still a long way to go to promote a healthy woman's body image collectively as a culture.

13. Cigarette Tax Heavily taxing and increasing the price of cigarettes is essentially a tax on the poorest Americans, and it doesn't deter them from purchasing. Instead, the state and federal governments should target those economically disenfranchised with early education about the dangers of smoking.

14. Veganism A vegan diet, while a healthy and ethical way to consume food, indicates a position of privilege. It also limits you to other cultural food experiences if you travel around the world.

15. University Athletes Should be Compensated University athletes should be compensated for their service to the university, as it is difficult for these students to procure and hold a job with busy academic and athletic schedules. Many student athletes on scholarship also come from low-income neighborhoods and it is a struggle to make ends meet when they are participating in athletics.

16. Women in the Workforce Sheryl Sandberg makes a lot of interesting points in her best-selling book, Lean In, but she only addressed the very privileged working woman and failed to speak to those in lower-skilled, lower-wage jobs.

17. Assisted Suicide Assisted suicide should be legal and doctors should have the ability to make sure their patients have the end-of-life care that they want to receive.

18. Celebrity and Political Activism Although Taylor Swift's lyrics are indicative of a feminist perspective, she should be more politically active and vocal to use her position of power for the betterment of society.

19. The Civil War The insistence from many Southerners that the South seceded from the Union for states' rights versus the fact that they seceded for the purposes of continuing slavery is a harmful myth that still affects race relations today.

20. Blue Collar Workers Coal miners and other blue-collar workers whose jobs are slowly disappearing from the workforce should be re-trained in jobs in the technology sector or in renewable energy. A program to re-train these workers would not only improve local economies where jobs have been displaced, but would also lead to lower unemployment nationally.

21. Diversity in the Workforce Having a diverse group of people in an office setting leads to richer ideas, more cooperation, and more empathy between people with different skin colors or backgrounds.

22. Re-Imagining the Nuclear Family The nuclear family was traditionally defined as one mother, one father, and 2.5 children. This outdated depiction of family life doesn't quite fit with modern society. The definition of normal family life shouldn't be limited to two-parent households.

23. Digital Literacy Skills With more information readily available than ever before, it's crucial that students are prepared to examine the material they're reading and determine whether or not it's a good source or if it has misleading information. Teaching students digital literacy and helping them to understand the difference between opinion or propaganda from legitimate, real information is integral.

24. Beauty Pageants Beauty pageants are presented with the angle that they empower women. However, putting women in a swimsuit on a stage while simultaneously judging them on how well they answer an impossible question in a short period of time is cruel and purely for the amusement of men. Therefore, we should stop televising beauty pageants.

25. Supporting More Women to Run for a Political Position In order to get more women into political positions, more women must run for office. There must be a grassroots effort to educate women on how to run for office, who among them should run, and support for a future candidate for getting started on a political career.