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In the Park

Gwen Harwood’s “In the Park” was first published in 1961 under a male pseudonym—and no wonder: its grim but unflinching view of motherhood as a source of regret and resentment was radical for its time. When the author was revealed to be a woman, many were shocked. However, the poem has been widely taught and anthologised since, and is celebrated today for its achievement in upending conventional beliefs about motherhood and keenly capturing the complex reality of women’s maternal experiences.

by Gwen Harwood

She sits in the park. Her clothes are out of date.
Two children whine and bicker, tug her skirt.
A third draws aimless patterns in the dirt
Someone she loved once passed by – too late

to feign indifference to that casual nod.
“How nice” et cetera. “Time holds great surprises.”
From his neat head unquestionably rises
a small balloon…”but for the grace of God…”

They stand a while in flickering light, rehearsing
the children’s names and birthdays. “It’s so sweet
to hear their chatter, watch them grow and thrive, ”
she says to his departing smile. Then, nursing
the youngest child, sits staring at her feet.
To the wind she says, “They have eaten me alive.”

SUMMARY

The speaker describes a woman sitting in a park, wearing clothes that are out of style. Two of the woman's children are complaining and arguing next to her, and pulling annoyingly on her skirt. Her third child is drawing random designs in the dirt. A former lover passes by.

The woman realises it's too late to pretend not to recognise the man when he casually nods hello. "How nice to see you," he says, among other expected pleasantries like "what a surprise" and "how time has passed!" The man's actual thoughts seem obvious to the woman, rising up from his well-groomed head like a balloon: "Thank God this isn't my life," the mother can tell he's thinking.

The two stand chatting a while in the dimming park light, the woman sharing the children's names and birthdays like she always does. "It's so fulfilling to hear their little voices, to watch them grow up and do so well," she says as the man walks away with a smile. Once he has gone, the mother nurses the baby, and sits staring blankly at her feet. To the wind, she confesses, "My children have consumed my entire life."

THEMES

Motherhood and Identity

“In the Park” is concerned with the smothering nature of motherhood and its effect on women’s identity. The poem suggests that motherhood, something that’s usually idealised, is in fact a far more disappointing and difficult endeavour than society or even women themselves acknowledge. The poem goes so far as to imply that to be a mother is to lose one’s identity altogether. This deeply unconventional stance undermines centuries of societal beliefs about motherhood by portraying it as a source of regret, depression, and resentment.

The poem opens with a woman sitting in the park with her three children. From the start, it pulls no punches when it comes to depicting motherhood as a disheartening undertaking. The children “whine and bicker,” or draw “aimless patterns in the dirt.” The light in the park “flicker[s]” ominously, and the mother “stare[s] at her feet” blankly while she nurses her baby. Every well-chosen word precisely captures the tedium, resentment, and depression experienced by this mother of three.

In addition to describing the hardships of motherhood, the poem takes pains to paint the woman’s image and identity as irrevocably impacted by her children. Her clothes are now “out of date.” In the fourth line, “Someone she loved once passe[s] by,” and they strike up a conversation—but only by happenstance, suggesting that the woman’s social circle has shrunk since becoming a mother. However, the poem also implies (“too late / to feign indifference”) that she would rather not have had her ex-lover see her in this new role and identity.

And no wonder! Over the course of their conversation, the poem suggests that women lose their sense of self, both in their own eyes and in the eyes of others, once they become mothers. The half-quoted proverb, “but for the grace of God,” suggests that despite his former affection for her, the man now views this woman as nothing more than a dreary housewife and mother—a type of person he is grateful not to be associated with. He “depart[s]” even while she is still speaking to him.

At the same time, the woman, despite clearly finding motherhood to be a smothering experience, nevertheless feels obligated to perform the identity of a good mother. She “rehears[es] / the children’s names and birthdays” and expresses platitudes about watching them grow.

As soon as her audience is gone, however, the woman confesses otherwise. “They have eaten me alive,” she says, “to the wind,” the poem’s most explicit and ruthless assessment of motherhood, indicating that the woman resents her circumstances. That she utters these words while “nursing / the youngest child” makes painfully clear that the woman’s identity has indeed been entirely subsumed by her role as mother.

Where this theme appears in the poem:

Lines 1-14

Social Expectations vs. Reality

At the heart of “In the Park” lies the sharp contrast between the ideal of motherhood and its lived reality. The poem not only highlights the struggles of motherhood, but also suggests that this struggle is made all the harder by the fact that society doesn’t acknowledge these struggles. As the poem captures in a conversation between a mother and her ex-lover, it is socially unacceptable for mothers to talk about their challenges. This social pressure both erases and compounds motherhood’s hardships, the poem implies, perpetuating a rosy, false narrative that naturally leads to disappointment when women encounter the reality of what motherhood is actually like.

The poem opens by clearly establishing motherhood’s difficulties and frustrations: children “whine and bicker” and “tug [on their mother’s] skirt.” It then swiftly moves on to exposing the gulf between society’s idealization of motherhood and its actual treatment of mothers. A former lover passes through the park and stops to chat with the woman at the center of the poem.

Their conversation is full of surface-level pleasantries, but hints at deeper, darker sentiments that neither are willing to say out loud. For instance, the man’s use of clichés (in phrases like “Time holds great surprises” and “but for the grace of God”) indicates a clear lack of desire to go deeper or truly understand this woman’s new life as a mother. The poem sharply juxtaposes verbs such as “feign” and “rehearse” with the mother’s statement that “[i]t’s so sweet / to hear their chatter, watch them grow,” illuminating the gap between what she believes society expects her to say about her role and how she actually feels.

What’s more, the poem indicates that the woman herself is keenly aware of this gap. The fact that she wishes she could have “feign[ed] indifference” to her passing ex-lover’s “casual nod” suggests that she knows she cannot be honest with him, and so wishes she could have avoided engaging in this hollow conversation at all. She is well-aware of how her ex-lover views her now that she is a mother; she imagines she can see his disdain “ris[ing like] a small balloon” from his head. Nevertheless, she does her best to meet social expectations, “rehearsing the children’s names and birthdays” like a good mother should.

In doing so, the woman ends up perpetuating the same narrative about motherhood that she herself was almost certainly brought up with and which has clearly led to major disappointment and bitterness. Unsurprisingly, her dishonest conversation leaves her feeling emptier than ever, “staring at her feet” after the man has gone while she nurses her baby. As soon he has left, she confesses, but only “to the wind,” that her children “have eaten [her] alive.”

The fact that this woman only feels safe being honest “to the wind” furthers illuminates the damaging effects of social expectations. Society’s idealized view of motherhood has kept her from confiding in someone about the reality, someone who could potentially offer support. However, though the woman does not admit to the man she used to love how much she resents her new role and life, she is nevertheless brave enough to admit it to herself—and to readers.

Indeed, though the poem takes a grim view of both motherhood and society, its unflinching honesty about the struggle of motherhood is remarkable. By decrying the fact that women are expected to sacrifice themselves on the altar of motherhood, it stands out as a deeply radical work of art, and one in keeping with the feminist movement of the time in which it was published.

Where this theme appears in the poem:

Lines 1-14

SYMBOLISM

Nursing

At the end of "In the Park," the woman at the center of the poem confesses "to the wind" that her children have "eaten [her] alive." Before she does so, however, the poem notes that she has begun "nursing the youngest child."

This act of the mother breastfeeding her baby is a very explicit symbol. It embodies the metaphorical concept of the woman's children "eating" her in a very literal way. Coupled with the woman's confession, this act of nursing symbolizes the truth of the woman's statement. Her entire identity has indeed been subsumed by the needs of her children, both literally speaking, as she feeds her baby from her breast, and metaphorically, since her entire life now revolves around childcare and mothering.

Where this symbol appears in the poem:

Lines 12-13: “nursing / the youngest child”

Clothes

"In the Park" dedicates only one line to describing the woman at the center of the poem: "Her clothes are out date." These clothes immediately take on symbolic significance, representing the impact of motherhood on the woman's identity.

To begin with, this symbol establishes the draining nature of motherhood. Not only do the woman's unfashionable clothes suggest that she has no time or energy to do anything for herself—such as buy new clothes—they are also literally "tug[ged] on" by her children, indicating the constant demands of motherhood.

These unfashionable clothes also serve as a very public symbol of the woman's current state. She is now married and a mother, and as such no longer considered desirable or attractive, either physically or otherwise. Her clothes are likewise undesirable, a visible marker of her has-been status.

This symbolism is further enhanced by the appearance of the woman's ex-lover, who comes to a similar conclusion himself—that this women is undesirable as a result of motherhood—after seeing her in the park. Though the poem does not explicitly note his attention to her outfit, it does contrast his appearance—"his neat head"—with that of the woman's "out of date" clothes. The implication is that the man, unburdened by parenthood, is still dressed quite sharply, while the mother looks as worn-out as her clothes.

Where this symbol appears in the poem:

Line 1: “Her clothes are out of date.”
Line 2: “tug her skirt.”
Line 7: “his neat head”

The Flickering Light

The flickering light in "In the Park" is an ambiguous image. It's not entirely clear whether the poem is referring to the sun passing overhead, causing the sunlight in the park to change, or if it's literally describing a lamppost in the park that flickers on and off.

Either way, however, the poem's attention to the inconsistent quality of the light has symbolic implications. As part of the setting during the mother and her ex-lover's conversation, it is inextricably linked to the nature of their relationship. The flickering takes on ominous connotations, conveying the uncertainty and discomfort of their conversation through imagery, since they are unable to explicitly discuss these feelings themselves.

The flickering light might also be interpreted as a symbol for the passing of time, especially if readers interpret it as the setting sun overhead. As the man himself states, "Time holds great surprises." The two characters in the poem have indeed discovered the unexpected impact of the ever-forward motion of time, especially the woman, who is deeply disappointed with the outcome of her life.

Where this symbol appears in the poem:

Line 9: “They stand a while in flickering light”

What other symbols can you suggest?

“In The Park” Speaker

"In the Park" is told by a third-person speaker closely linked to the mother at the center of the poem. Though this woman is described in the third-person ("She sits in the park") the speaker of the poem has access to her thoughts, for instance informing readers of her desire to "feign indifference" to her passing ex-lover. The mother's observations of the world around her also clearly color the speaker's point-of-view; the children are described as "whin[ing] and bicker[ing" and at one point the mother interprets her ex-lover's body language in order to guess at his thoughts, "unquestionably ris[ing like] a small balloon" from his head.

As such, it is probably safe to assume the speaker shares some characteristics, or identifies closely, with the woman at the center of the poem. She appears to be middle-class, able to take her three children to the park on an outing. She is presumably young, since she is still nursing a baby, and is attuned to the fact that her clothes are "out of date." The fact that her only conversational topics revolve around her children, and that she seems utterly exhausted by the effort, affirms that she is likely a stay-at-home mother, whose every day is occupied with the tedium and difficulties of childcare.

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