Change. A word that is used to describe a person, a thing, a place, anything that is no longer its normal status, another version–variation, has been alternated into a different disparity of itself. But as human beings with such an exquisite brain and vast thoughts penetrating the human body's head, why is change such a feared and hard thing to do, or even just think about it?
As an individual, changing could be a difficult area to cover. The human brain likes routine, basic life is a routine. Whether or not everyday life is the same, there is always a habit embedded into a day. So, how does that relate to changing something about personality, perspectives, resolving issues, connections and such more? The answer is it triggers stability in the thrive to survive. Not surviving in a physical way–survive as, being in control of everything in life, the feeling of success, having reality of the version one wants to become. But when change needs to occur, everything's out of control and suddenly, defense in the nervous system spikes in the brain.
Change can also be frustrating when everyone has different pasts and experiences that caused long term trauma to the brain. For example, in a relationship with anyone, something obviously would need to collide and combine to have a connection with another human being to work, so change needs to be situated, right? But when someone gets hurt or has their trust misplaced, issues arise–the hurt also now does the hurting in defense. So when someone senses something, it triggers the brain into thinking it’s in harm, and there’s a threat waiting to happen, causing one to not want to change, having the difficulty to change, and developing the fear of ever changing, especially for someone else, not themselves.
People like being in control, especially when one is highly independent on their own. Being in control provides a sense of security and reduces anxiety, making being the same and never having to have the need to alternate something is a comfort zone to many people. It’s often called selfish, or maybe when someone is involved, called unloving, but it’s simply just because the human brain wants to feel protected and not wanting to feel helpless in situations that could possibly occur. This also may be a reason for attachment or abandonment issues, which is also an addition into the urge not to change.
Having standards for someone as in themselves can vary in different ways–being a certain way, keeping promise to themselves, seeking control, or maybe even raising self worth and esteem. Having such a high standard for someone or even yourself could lead to a fear and phobia of changing. The saying “The heart wants what it wants” also goes the same with the mind.
Writtren by: Abigail Piconada