Managing Anger

Managing Anger

Anger is a normal feeling, and it is okay to feel angry and experience situations when we feel this way. 

However, anger becomes a problem when we can not control our behaviour when we feel angry and behave in ways which is not appropriate or helpful.

Examples can be hitting things, negative thinking, throwing objects, becoming violent/aggressive, being self-destructive, hanging out with people who get you into trouble and problems with school and relationships.

So what can you do to help manage anger?

• • • • Work out the triggers and situations which make you feel angry- eg when you feel powerless, injustice or humiliated

      • What negative thoughts do you have when you are angry? ‘ this is everyone fault’, ‘ this always happens to me’ Know when you get these thoughts and challenge them

      • Take note of  early warning signs of when you feel angry and acknowledge that you are feeling angry and that it is a normal feeling

      •  Remove yourself from the situation if possible

      • Do some slow and heavy breathing. Take 6 deep breaths, and repeat this 3 times

      • Ask yourself how much will this issue matter in a week, in a month, in a year?

      • Talk about your feelings to friends and family

      •  Write down your feelings or journal

Exercise for Working Through Anger:

• • What is the Situation or Trigger?

  • What are the emotions and feelings? Anger? Frustration? Embarrassment?

  • What is your body sensation?  Is your heart racing? Palms sweaty?

  • What are your thoughts? For example ‘This always happens to me!’ Challenge your thoughts. What evidence do you have for these thoughts 

  • What are your behaviours and actions?  Do you yell at people, throw objects, avoid friends?

  • What are the consequences of your behaviour and actions? Is it helpful? Is this in line with my values? How much will this matter in a year?