Return to School 

For many parents and children returning to school can be a very challenging experience.

Parents may be wondering what role they can play in supporting their child or children through this return to school, making sure that they feel safe and secure, encouraging them to accept and embrace the return to school and to be resilient to the challenges. It is important to remember that students will react differently and feelings will change during this time. Even if you think that your child is managing the changes well, it is advisable to check in on their wellbeing regularly.

Start a conversation with your child about the return to school, listen, validate and provide reassurance. Sometimes our children may worry about things that seem insignificant to us. Listen with curiosity and compassion, and try not to jump in to solve problems straight away. Remind them to be kind to themselves by saying, “this is difficult, give yourself time to adjust, we can do it together” and look for the positives.

Be prepared. Help your child get used to the bedtime routine and ensure they are getting enough sleep. We all thrive on certainty, rituals and routines. Trying to embed good sleep patterns, healthy meal times and time for rest, relaxation and play helps us feel our best.

Encourage your child to get back in touch with their old friends or if they’re new to the school, reach out to other students through class parents. Connecting socially helps children to feel like they’re not alone and helps to validate feelings. Help your child to plan get-togethers with friends and to engage in hobbies or activities they enjoy.

In younger children, parents may expect some regression such as trouble sleeping, dressing themselves and going to the toilet at the beginning of the school year. These skills may be tested in the first few weeks. Most kids will get comfortable and bounce back to where they started. For all ages, it’s normal to have meltdowns in a safe space in the first few weeks of term. If these changes continue more than a few weeks, or if your child is persistently tearful, talk to the teachers to see how they are at school.

What about children refusing to go to school? The first thing is to make sure we as parents manage our own level of anxiety. Children look to us to know the level of feeling they should be having. Our job is not to remove every problem from our children’s lives so that it is completely anxiety-free, but to help our children develop the skills to manage their own anxiety. When it’s time for school, parents have to ensure the boundary is clear: school is non-negotiable. Avoidance exacerbates anxiety. At the same time, saying, “you shouldn’t feel nervous,” or “there’s no need to feel afraid,” can belittle how they are feeling. If your child shares a feeling, try not to close it down but discuss it openly. Rather than using direct questions, try instead, “I remember when I was in Year 8 I felt …,” “I was wondering whether…,” “I noticed that…” Stay receptive, curious and open to what your child is saying.

If you would like any further information or have any concerns about your child please talk to their teacher/ tutor or a member of the Wellbeing Team. Remember that mental health challenges are both extremely common and highly treatable.