So this is how the greatest adventure begins, finally; the deepest mystery of all slowly opening, a flower of countless petals softly unfolding.
No palpable, material body - of course that could not be - but yes, its memory. And the consciousness, the senses, the thoughts, the feelings, marvelously all still here.
All still there, but without left or right, up or down, front or back, near or far, without shattering tones or silence, without blinding luminance or darkness, without numbing crystalline cold or searing melting heat. There is a limitless vastness and a gentle comforting intimacy, simultaneously; an emptiness and a fullness, a being one only and a part of everything, all at the same time; a soaring, floating exhilaration without wings or air or vertigo, a firm and soft enveloping embrace not in the least crushing or suffocating.
But what is this that persists? Once, from nowhere and nothing, a vague consciousness had budded, at first immeasurably slowly, then faster and faster, into the embryo of the self. Over the years, the decades, the lifetime, it was as alive and changeable as the corporeal being.
Now, as the thoughts roamed and rambled, the memories of the lived life returned slowly to the yesterday before. Yesterday…. began to reappear, came into focus, became real. This was more than dreams, more than memory, more than chance.
It was newly unfamiliar yet not frightening, as with a child hesitantly learning to walk, stumbling, falling, trying again - it seemed that this was not random, that it was like a playback that could perhaps be controlled. One might be able to learn how, and then had to gain the confidence to do so, but there was the comforting sense that it might be possible to stop, to go forward or to go back.
Aha, so you may be able to play back your own past, like a very long reel of tape, and so perhaps you may choose who you are, but only from who you once were.
An instant passed, or an eternity. It was impossible to tell, and it did not matter.
Then wispy hints of a presence, a quiet, comforting presence, gently coalesced, shapelessly, silently, wordlessly eloquent:
"So you've already started to notice, to understand. We welcome you. There may be much that's new and strange, but there is nothing here to fear."
"You're trying so speak, as you were used to doing. There is no language here. Your thoughts are open to us, as ours are to you. There are no secrets, there is nothing to hide. You are one with us, and we are one with you."
"We know that it will take you some time to acquaint yourself with all that's new here, but you will have limitless time, as we all do. There is no longer any use for your old counting of days and years. All beings have always had their different timespans, where you came from, and anywhere else."
"Yes, other beings, other creatures, other places, other languages. Just on your own little sphere, there was so much life, so much different life, and all that life could speak in so many different ways, and yet most of the time you could not comprehend each other. Few of you understood that this other life had its own non-speaking language, and fewer by far could hear or feel it. Now all this life, all these beings, all these creatures, are here, and all of us not only sense, but 'speak' to each other through wordless thoughts."
"That’s how I know that you have so many questions already, and that each one is a parent to so many more. I can try to answer some now, the rest will be for you to search out later."
"Am I an angel? No, although I've been asked that before. I'm only another being from another time and another place, one of many who has chosen to greet you newcomers, to ease your way into this new, to you strange, existence."
"Yes, everyone is here, all your family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, those that knew you even if you didn't know them, those that you loved and those who loved you, those whom you wronged and those who wronged you, and the many, many, many that you never met and who never met you. And countless more that lived everywhere and anytime else in this great, grand universe."
"Yes, there are also those that did harm, sometimes great harm, even evil, and sought to hurt, to control, and to subjugate others. They are here as well."
"I know that back in your old place there was much concern about punishment for sins and misdeeds. Like anyone who lived, we all have erred, some less, some much more. You may have been surprised that there was no accounting of your life's debits and credits by some omnipotent scorekeeper when you arrived here, and that there was no great cleansing. Nor will there ever be any. Reward and punishment for your old life would change you so substantially that you would no longer be the same individual."
"You'll soon recognize one grand principle at work here, similar to a saying that you had where you came from: 'First, do no harm'. No one here can do any harm to anyone or anything else, because none of us has power over anyone or anything."
"Think back over your own life. All the harm that was ever done by any one or any group came from control and power over others: physical, emotional, social, sexual, financial ….. There was always a threat, implied or explicit. Here all those means for exerting power don't exist: there is no money, no physical strength, no sexuality, there is no privileged birth, no acquired status, no property, there is not even withheld knowledge ….. There is simply no way to force anyone to do or think what they would not wish to do or think.”
“The only real power here comes through love and wisdom. Their carriers shine as brightly as the stars in your heavens, making all else pallid and dark.”
"Yes, you're right, one could withhold love and some here, clinging to their old ways, do just that. But they soon find that they they’re ignored and so, if it matters to them, lonely. There are too many here who give and thrive on love and wisdom to spend time with those who do not."
“As you can imagine, this new existence is most difficult for those who had built their purpose on dominating and subjugating others. Maybe the real hell, or purgatory, as you people imagined it, is to crave dominance but to have no power. And over a very long time, many have come to realize their errors and have bettered themselves.“
“But that can only be genuine, and can only come from true self-understanding. I’ve already told you that all our thoughts are open to you, and all of yours to us. At first this emotional nakedness is embarrassing and frightening, since there’s no longer that façade behind which any of us can hide our shame, and there’s no longer any pretending to be someone we’re not. But we have no need to do that, because we all have had and still have our flaws and limitations, and so we understand those of others. Over time there’s a great deal of honest apology, of real repentance and hence true forgiveness here.”
“I’ve mentioned ‘time’ so often to you because all of your former life has been measured by the mysterious passage of this ‘time’, limited, inexorably moving, sometimes slowly, often quickly, even if only in your perception. As you gain comfort with your new existence, you’ll learn that ‘time’ will lose its old familiar meaning and will become as limitless as the universe itself.”
“Yet you wonder how long I’ve been here. There’s no way I can say, because there’s no measure of time passing. I know that it does, and certainly I’ve been here longer than you, and longer than the several others for whom I’ve been the greeter.”
“Ah, you sense the possibilities already. Yes, you won’t have the old limits of only so many hours, days, years, or a single lifetime to learn from contemporaries and from the ancient sages with their wisdom. They’re all here, still learning, spreading that wisdom as they think and share their thoughts, and so will you. You’ve noticed that, just as there was no punishment for your sins and misdeeds when you arrived, neither was there any sudden grand revelation of the mysteries of life and of the universe. But you have the gift of your new existence to keep feeling the joy of striving toward this knowledge. It may take as long as time but you have that here.”
During the whole wordless conversation the sensate presence of the others had begun to form, so slowly as to be barely noticeable, like a quiet, gentle, musically perfumed, crystal sea.
“And now you’re ready to begin your new adventure. Your innumerable questions and answers will find just as many beings here to answer and to ask. We welcome you.”
Peter E. Schmidt