Clown Drummer

INT. BAND PRACTICE ROOM - DAY

SINGER (hopeful) I heard this new guy is amazing. Apparently he's played with some big acts.

GUITARIST  (excited) Yeah, I heard he's got lightning-fast hands and impeccable timing. Finally, we'll have a classy drummer and not some idiot.

BASSIST : Yeah I cant take another nutter. Remember the last guy? He thought drumsticks came from chickens!

They chuckle, reminiscing about the absurdity of their previous drummer's antics. In walks DRUMMER (CLOWN),with oversized shoes and a red nose. 

SINGER (stammering) Umm... Is this...?

GUITARIST (confused) I... I don't know what to say.

BASSIST (raising both eyebrows) Well, he's certainly... different.

DRUMMER (CLOWN) (grinning) Hey there, fellas! Asshats the name! Clown Drummings the game! Ready to rock and roll?

SINGER (trying to keep a straight face) Um, hello there! You must be our new drummer?

DRUMMER (CLOWN) (cheerfully) That's right, folks! The one and only Clown Drummer at your service!

GUITARIST (stifling laughter) Uh, we were expecting someone... well, more traditionally dressed?

DRUMMER (CLOWN) (nods, grinning) Well, maybe you guys could use some entertainment while you play, right? I can guarantee you will not be bored!

BASSIST (skeptical) Okay, Asshat is it? let's give it a shot. We'll start with "Rock and Roll All Nite."

The singer sings a line “I wanna rock and roll all night” and everyone sings “and party every day”

The band members get ready to play, but as they're about to start,  1,2,3 DRUMMER (CLOWN) sneezes, causing a horn on his costume to blare loudly.

SINGER (startled) What was that?!

DRUMMER (CLOWN) (laughing) That was me, sorry!

SINGER Ok lets go again, 1,2,3.....

Other Antics etc

They try to start again, but this time, DRUMMER (CLOWN) accidentally drops his drumsticks, and they roll away. He chases after them, tripping over his oversized shoes and stumbling into the drum set, causing a chaotic crash.

GUITARIST (aghast) Jesus Christ!

DRUMMER (CLOWN) (picking himself up) No worries, no worries....here we go....

SINGER (startled) Ok ok lets focus shall we?

DRUMMER (CLOWN) pulls out two cucumbers and holds them up menacingly Found them! 

BASSIST Fuuuuuuuuuh....

DRUMMER (CLOWN) (excitedly) Meet Cucumber Dave and TBGW!

SINGER ....TBGW?

DRUMMER (CLOWN) The Big Green Weeny!

SINGER (frustrated) Oh come Asshat on you can't play with cucumbers, You need real drumsticks!

DRUMMER (CLOWN) (mockingly) Oh, you think these aren't real? Prepare to feel the wrath of the mighty cucumber! For these are the true instruments of chaos!

BASSIST Fuuuuuuuuuh

The band members' eyes widen with terror as the Clown Drummer lunges toward them, wielding the menacing sticks like weapons. They scramble to escape his clutches, cue speeded up Benny Hill /Monkeys chase shots

GUITARIST (desperately) Jesus Christ!

BASSIST Fuuuuuuuuuh

SINGER – Not Again!

They make a chaotic dash for the exit, with the Clown Drummer hot on their heels, cackling and brandishing his dark drumsticks. He laughs maniacally to the camera and brandishes his weapons!