Auld Shoe

Write a poem in surrealistic style about a woman who found an old shoe and who thought it might have magic powers. Write it from her perspective and in her Scottish Dundonian dialect, use humour and surprise. 

Ah fand an auld shoe, left all alone,

Sittin' in the muck, like an auld crone.

But somethin' 'boot it caught ma eye,

Like it had a secret, it wanted tae imply.

So ah picked it up, and gave it a tap,

And whispered tae it, like a madcap.

"Are ye magic? Can ye grant me power?

Or maybe turn me intae a bonnie flower?"

But nae a peep, nae a sound was heard,

Just a faint smell, like some rotten curd.

And then, oh then, it hit me like a tram,

This auld shoe's magic, was just a scam.

Ah tossed it aside, and went on ma way,

Thinkin' tae maself, s'just anither day.