Author: Dr Jone Brown

To: Department of History 

Subject: Rhubarb Lane: What Can We Learn?

Background:

Rhubarb Lane was an energy company originally based in the Sutheria system that existed from its founding in 3012 to 4653. Rhubarb Lane was crucial in stabilizing the west Gergosphere before and during the time of the Pact of Mutual Coexistence by providing great sums of cheap energy production methods to power worlds, laying the framework for proper infrastructure across dozens of inhabited worlds. Even after the fall of the PMC, Rhubarb Lane continued to operate more or less the same while also protecting its assets with an automated army, produced to spec by their mechanical department. Intel from former employees and sites have revealed an odd assortment of oddities related to the entity, such as how they were able to produce energy across vast distances remotely as well as why they suddenly ceased operations.

Early History:

The company's early history can be traced back to 3005, when mentally troubled Two Centuries' War veteran Barron Trill began experimenting with the geothermal geysers on his homeworld of Sutheria III to take his mind off the war and pass the time. He found the geysers could produce up to ten times more energy if volatile chemicals were poured into them, an experiment that got him 5 years in prison with a 30,000 credit fine for environmental damage and tampering of public resources. After serving his sentence, Trill immedietly decided to capitalize off his mistake, recruiting a number of engineers and entrepreneurs to produce a "bigger and better" geothermal power plant, persuading them with pay (and in some cases, blackmail). By 3012, Rhubarb Lane was established and its first power plant had been opened after (reluctant) government permission. The volatile chemicals used in energy output were acquired with shady deals from the Sutherian Mob until Rhubarb Lane could get enough capital to produce their own chemicals. This would happen by 3021, much quicker than either Trill or the Mob had expected. Feeling betrayed and at risk of exposure, the Mob assasinated Barron Trill by turning his genome sequence into that of a pinecone. Trill's successor, Jimmy Kargen, secretly recorded the assassination by disguising himself as a suitcase. He distributed recordings of the incident to media outlets, making a martyr out of Trill and forcing the Mob to leave Rhubarb Lane alone. Rhubarb Lane enjoyed great prosperity across the western Gergosphere, becoming popular for its efficiency compared to competition. Journalists would flock to Rhubarb Lane to investigate the chemicals being pumped into the ground so that they could get extra bribe money.

The PMC and After:

By the formation of the PMC in 3240, Rhubarb Lane had facilities in 26 star systems and was the primary energy provider in the west Gergosphere. Although they initially specialized in geothermal energy, Rhubarb Lane soon began branching out into nuclear and solar power as well, utilizing similar volatile substances in nuclear power plants (albeit in lesser amounts to avoid catastrophe). As they owned the means of energy production, Rhubarb Lane no longer needed to worry about legal troubles with their methods, though the structure of their production was inherently flawed: if another energy production could pump chemicals to increase energy output, then Rhubarb Lane would no longer be unique. Keeping energy prices low was one thing, but anyone could lower prices too, so Rhubarb Lane sought out to research and develop increasingly volatile chemicals. 

Unfortunately, these operations were short lived, as the political fracturing from the chaos in the PMC's collapse in 3367 saw Rhubarb Lane being expelled from many system as they purused autarky. The new Sutherian Khaganate happily allowed Rhubarb Lane to continue in their territory, but international markets could not be maintained anymore without protection from barbarians. Thus, Rhubarb Lane turned to tech mogul Zark Muckerberg of Zeta in 3374, who agreed to produce fission batteries and advanced computer systems for asset protection corvettes in exchange for a 25% cut. For four years Zeta produced for for Rhubarb Lane in exchange for profit, but little did they know Rhubarb Lane had also purchased several robot assembly plants. Rhubarb Lane was making a robot army, not spaceship hardware. Zark Muckerberg canceled the deal to prevent Rhubarb Lane from making more robots, but by then Rhubarb Lane's engineers had already reverse-engineered and improved upon Zeta's products, which were now being mass produced to build even more robots. Powered by fission batteries and programmed with Zeta-quality firmware, Rhubarb Lane's robots replaced the need for mercenaries at the cost of being vulnerable to electromagnetic pulse attacks, but these issues were soon addressed as Rhubarb Lane reestablished themselves on several former customer worlds.

Later History and Abrupt End:

Rhubarb Lane began making deals with the Sutherian Khaganate in regards to R&D, around the same time they stopped manufacturing and using chemicals in energy production despite maintaining the same energy output levels. The methods on how the extra energy was produced is still a closely guarded secret among former Rhubarb Lane employees, but is likely related to the khaganate's other esoteric experiments. The Sutherian Khagante remained Rhubarb Lane's primary customer until the Sutherian Flu epidemic and subsequent Calorian invasion of Sutheria, prompting the corporation to relocate its headquarters to the Agropolis system. There, Rhubarb Lane would provide energy for the Clementinans and later the disorganized nations in Bletcher's League until 4653.

August 3rd, 4653. Nobody is quite sure what happened that day. The company simply dissolved overnight, leaving behind mobs of confused and hurt employees as well as droves of robots and drones left to be scrapped or wander aimlessly until their batteries die. Entire perfectly good facilities were left to rot and thousands of documents were destroyed en masse. The CEO of Rhubarb Lane at the time, Grimby Klanger, was last sighted sending messages to his contacts before abruptly disappearing, never to be seen again. Many other higher-ups in the corporation also vanished, alongside the entire planetary energy production facility on Agropolis IV. Assassination or scandal could explain the disappearances of Rhubarb Lane's executives as well as the sudden dissolving of the company, but whatever had caused the facility at Agropolis IV to vanish remains a mystery to this day. The site of the former complex is closed off to the general public per the request of Erwin Quetiapine, the sole survivor of the facility. To this day, Quetiapine has refused to give any information on what had happened on the 3rd and has declined any interview requests and psychological examinations, preferring to live a new quiet life as a space sheep rancher. 

Recent discoveries:

When browsing files from Grimby Klanger's partially destroyed hard drive, an audio incident report sent around the time the power plant on Agropolis IV vanished was recovered on February 27th, 4679. The report mostly consists of a low dirge occasionally interrupted by fragmented speech from two individuals (presumably power plant administrators or damage control crew members). The report lasts a little over a minute and generally raises more questions than it answers, but is the last remaining thing ever produced under the authority of Rhubarb Lane. The report is avaliable here to listen to.