Author: Inspector of Delivery J'ohnas D'bruon 

To: Jacob Jiggler of Urban

Subject: "Quantum Chicken Nuggets"

"Recently this month (in the year of our Jord 4679) we recieved a package of chicken nuggets from the dastardly Nyrobactus. The chicken nuggets number one and nine more, and simply... are. They're a bit cold from long-term preservation... or are they. Upon closer inspection, we can clearly see that the chicken nuggets are not there. There are no chicken nuggets, but if that were the case, what am I even bothering you about? These "quantum chicken nuggets" are in the box in front of me, but they're also not, but I can't put them back in because they're not here, but I can't look for them because they're right here! How am I supposed to do anything with this?!?! Thinking about it is one thing, but being here to see it is horrendous! It isn't not horrendous and it isn't not not horrendous, it simply is and I will punt the box these nuggets may or may not have come from."

"In related news, I am going to be taking two weeks on PTO per recommendation of my therapist, unfortunately passing the burden on to you. Good luck."