First Essay Errors

1st Essay (MLA) - common errors

Authors

The first time you refer to an author in a paper, use both first and last name (middle or middle initial too, if it looks like they like to use it. The second and subsequent times, use only the last name. (NEVER use only the first name.) You may use titles sometimes with the last name, like Professor Garcia.

  1. State the full name,

  2. Introduce the author, explain why this person is qualified to offer an opinion in your paper

  3. Then evaluate the citation (right, wrong, bad, good, in between) and say WHY

  4. Discuss the citation. How does it fit your idea?

  5. Compare the author to other authors and your own opinion. = synthesis

= College level writing.



Authors not properly introduced:

"Over the last few years exceeding amounts of students have been attending college and the fantasy of college has become much more vying, Washington said "The doors..."

WHO is Washington?!?!

"Jon Boeckenstedt, author of the chapter 'Outside the Gates, Looking In'..." Why are you citing him? How do we know that he is an expert and not just some schmo? OBVIOUSLY he wrote the article/book. What the author wrote is not a proper introduction.


WHY are they qualified to proffer an opinion? You need to justify this.


When citing facts and non-opinion items such as the number of ships lost in such a naval engagement, there is no requirement to introduce the source. But when you are citing someone's opinion, you MUST establish your source's credibility. EXAMPLE: There are 23 California State Universities and ten University of California schools (University of California). But according Alia Wong, who covers education issues for The Atlantic, this number is not sufficient to cover the needs of California, making it harder and more expensive to attend college in the state. This perceptive observation is confirmed by the fact that more and more California schools are rejecting more students than they can accept (Wong). Lesser known school such as the California State University, Dominguez Hills now are accepting fewer than 50% of its applicants.


Richard Weissbourd, senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education suggests that students combine more social aspects into their academic career as he states...




Alphabetizing (see guide)

When alphabetizing titles that begin with definite or indefinite articles, begin with the first significant word (ignoring the articles).

Example: The Great Gatsby would be ALPHABETIZED by "Great" (not "the")



End Punctuation

"people start to think “What do I want?”. Remove the period

"...engineer how to get there." (54). Remove first period


Pronouns
Used second person Pronouns (you, your, yours, yourself)

Picking a college is the most important decision in your life

-- use of first person reflexive pronoun - myself - "Many athletes like myself are worried about the pandemic..." = incorrect use of reflexive
"Our coach rewarded the players who had a great year like the center and myself at the banquet." = incorrect.

Use of reflexive pronouns - What is done for oneself = reflexive (does not take place of subjective or objective)

Improper - As myself and many other seniors start the process of applying to colleges...

Proper - I can improve myself by working out and...


Inclusive Language - "man cannot escape" See UCLA; Cornell; Stanford; All CSUs; USC; See MLA 3.1; APA

Spacing - "...continues to fuel interest"(23).


Quoting other author's Quotes?

NO! Generally speaking, this is not allowed for two reasons: 1. You have not read that article yourself. How do you know its purpose and intent? 2. You could be perpetuating a mistake.

Error:

Heather D. Washington states “Cognitive educational psychology experts, Hidi and Anderson (1992) suggests that individuals with more interest in an area probably pay more attention to information that is being learned. Presumably, the relationship between interest and knowledge acquisition drives program concentration and ultimately degree completion” (Washington 23)


You must not use other authors' citations in your paper. (Quoting someone else's quote.) If you want the idea, just offer a summary of the paragraph and credit the author. That was the point of that author as well. - you don't need the quote of the quote.


Thus if you want to use this quote - go find it in the original, read the original, and cite it from the original. The ONLY exception is when the original no longer is available after an exhaustive search. Then you may use something like:

Aristotle as cited in Wingate S. D. (1931). The medieval Latin versions of Aristotelian scientific corpus, with special

reference to the biological works. London, England: The Courier Press.


Sources not evaluated (criticized, considered, discussed, praised):

Properly done:

Community college proves to serve as a reasonably priced and effective alternative to a four year university. Mitchell R. Williams, an associate professor of community college leadership at Old Dominion University, brings up the important fact that, “By breaking the stigma and establishing community colleges as “good” colleges, students can find interest and a sense of belonging in these colleges (19). However, “Community colleges are often criticized for low graduation rates and for their failure to close the educational gap between white Americans and students from non-dominant groups” (32). Although this is true, it does not take any of the positive aspects into account. This directly argues against the fact that students can find success from these colleges. Jennifer Senior, an Op-Ed columnist, daily book critic for The Times, and staff writer for New York magazine does many cover stories about politics, social science and mental health. Her article helps support the statement that most individuals who attend these schools are hoping for a second chance at life, want to have a successful future, or learn how to be a productive individual (Williams 30; Senior 21). A crucial fact to remember is that, “There is no difference between a degree earned at a community college versus one earned at the most prestigious university. Jon Boeckenstedt, the Associate Vice President of Enrollment Management and Marketing at DePaul University acknowledges that, “The only thing that forms the basis of a respected university is the word of enthusiastic alumni and name recognition” (5). Students often can not see past the social pressure to attend a four-year college. They associate large, popular universities with low admissions rates as the place for the brightest students. Many close-minded students would prefer to attend a large university with no plan for the future rather than to find their passion while attending a local community college. Community colleges offer amazing courses and have countless great resources to help. Attending community college is a smart way to save money no matter what their economic standing is. I am seriously considering this option and know how successful it can be. My brother attended community college and is transferring to The University of Oregon. This allowed my family to save a lot of money and I learned a lot from his experiences. By seeing the true success of community colleges, students can take advantage of a quality, affordable education.


When evaluating sources, go beyond an adverbial modifier:

Clopton brilliantly states, Sasso enthusiastically asserted, etc. = poorly done.

Properly done:

Clopton argued that college athletics empower students to feel a kinship and belonging to the university. His argument is verified by continued support of alumni who continue their support long after they have graduated.


Good discussion = your ideas woven together with an evaluation/analysis of your sources:

This is evident as Lou Glazer reports that C. Kirabo Jackson, a Northwestern University economist, found that “a non cognitive index of grades, attendance and disciplinary records was more predictive of long-term success than test scores” (10). But to validate the persistence and hard work that was put into attaining high test scores, “Research has consistently found that ability tests like the SAT and the ACT are strongly predictive of success in college and beyond” (Wai B3). While Glazer’s report does highlight the importance of key factors other than standardized testing in the college application, Wai explains why the SAT and ACT are still prominent pieces of the process. Even though there is controversy on the importance of test scores, students still strive to achieve good scores to gain admittance into higher-ranked institutions. After attending various presentations about the college admissions process, I have learned/one would learn that scores are what qualifies a student, while extracurricular activities and other achievements are what make them stand out. Because of this, I have dedicated certain amounts