Draft 3
My personal "Garden of Eden" regarding the collegiate world would include a huge diversity of majors and people. A plethora of people from different backgrounds, cultures, and orientations would broaden the horizons of all those involved. According to UCLA's department of anthropology, "The major is designed for students interested in an anthropological understanding of human behavior" (2021b).
The Art Center offers many internships from important companies (2021a). The admissions office reports"Entertainment Design has a priority deadline of February 1..." (Art Center 2021b).
Reference List
Art Center. 2021a. "Student Life." Accessed October 14. http://www.artcenter.edu/student-life/overview.html
Art Center. 2021b. "Admissions." Accessed October 14. http://www.artcenter.edu/admissions/overview.html
California State University Long Beach. 2021. "University Outreach & School Relations." Accessed October 12, 2021.
https://www.csulb.edu/student-affairs/university-outreach-school-relations
Ichib0 (@ichib0). 2021. "Mask heh." Tik Tok, September 20, 2021. URL Link
Lucas, Christopher J. 2013. "Liberal Education: The Challenge of Consumerism, Careerism, and Commodification."
In Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, 203-214.
New York: Peter Lang.
UCLA. 2021a. "Undergraduate Admissions." The Regents of the University of California. Accessed October, 12, 2021.
https://www.ucla.edu/admission/undergraduate-admission
UCLA. 2021b. "Anthropology B.A. Degree." UCLA Social Sciences Computing . Accessed October 14, 2021.
https://anthro.ucla.edu/academics/undergraduate/bachelor-of-arts/
University of San Fransisco (@usfca_admissions). 2021. "Apply to USF for free." Tik Tok, October 9, 2021. URL Link
Gen Comments
Used a good variety of In-text citations..
In-text citation error - did not use comma to separate year from page (Smith 2009, 23), Your signal words found in your in-text citations match up with your Reference List. Well done., Chicago 2 format error., Improper use of same author date identification - e.g. 2021b, (Department of Electrical & Computer Engineering 2021b). - you do not have an 2021a with the same author.
You introduced your sources well.
You evaluated your sources well., YOu compared your sources with one another., YOu compared your sources and integrated them into your own argument.
YOu introduced a good foil (counterargument) and argued against it well.
Minimal or no writing errors.
Used credible, academic sources.
Yes - used 10 citations or more
The intro was effective by introducing the topic and the author's perspecitve., The paper made sense and was well written., Good voice and tone.
Error - Reference List - misnamed, Error: Container not italicized, Improper use of same author date identification - e.g. 2021b, You don't need UC Santa Barbara Engineering. 2021a. because you have NO - 2021b
Well written.
Good job - you did NOT need the a and b for the dates because you only had listed the author ONCE
My changes
Draft 2
My personal "Garden of Eden" regarding the collegiate world would include a huge diversity of majors and people. A plethora of people from different backgrounds, cultures, and orientations would broaden the horizons of all those involved. According to UCLA's department of anthropology, "The major is designed for students interested in an anthropological understanding of human behavior" (2021b).
The Art Center offers many internships from important companies (2021a). The admissions office reports"Entertainment Design has a priority deadline of February 1..." (Art Center 2021b).
I have 6 sources
Reference List
Art Center. 2021a. "Student Life." Accessed October 14. http://www.artcenter.edu/student-life/overview.html
Art Center. 2021b. "Admissions." Accessed October 14. http://www.artcenter.edu/admissions/overview.html
California State University Long Beach. 2021. "University Outreach & School Relations." Accessed October 12, 2021.
https://www.csulb.edu/student-affairs/university-outreach-school-relations
Ichib0 (@ichib0). 2021. "Mask heh." Tik Tok, September 20, 2021. URL Link
Lucas, Christopher J. 2013. "Liberal Education: The Challenge of Consumerism, Careerism, and Commodification."
In Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, 203-214.
New York: Peter Lang.
UCLA. 2021a. "Undergraduate Admissions." The Regents of the University of California. Accessed October, 12, 2021.
https://www.ucla.edu/admission/undergraduate-admission
UCLA. 2021b. "Anthropology B.A. Degree." UCLA Social Sciences Computing . Accessed October 14, 2021.
https://anthro.ucla.edu/academics/undergraduate/bachelor-of-arts/
University of San Fransisco (@usfca_admissions). 2021. "Apply to USF for free." Tik Tok, October 9, 2021. URL Link
Please use the following considerations when doing your partner's peer response for the Chicago Author/Date essay.
Peer Partner: Ray Gen
Were at least 10 citations used in the paper? Were they done in correct CMOS? No
Did the author state clearly his or her position on the topic?
Reference List? Were they listed correctly? alphabetically?
Is this paper at least 80% completed (including sources, references, and citations)?
How many varieties of in-text citations were there? Any missing?
Were there at least 4 sources published in the current year?
Was there at least one print source?
Was the introduction interesting? Was it effective? Was the thesis stated well?
Did the essay make sense? Was it logical?
Was the essay written well? Was it interesting to read or was it boring?
What suggestions do you have to "kick it up a notch"?
Did your partner compare colleges? Evaluate them?
How many sources were used?
Was the essay written interestingly or without passion?
Were authors introduced properly?
Were sources evaluated and compared?
Did your partner create a discussion between the sources?
Spelling errors?
Grammatical errors?
Rubric Score (1-6)
Draft 1
My personal "Garden of Eden" regarding the collegiate world would include a huge diversity of majors and people. A plethora of people from different backgrounds, cultures, GRAMMAR and orientations would broaden the horizons of all those involved. According to UCLA's department of anthropology, "The major is designed for students interested in an anthropological understanding of human behavior" (2021b). ERROR
The Art Center offers many internships from important companies (2021a). The admissions office reports"Entertainment Design has a priority deadline of February 1..." (Art Center 2021b). Please clarify
Reference List
Art Center. 2021a. "Student Life." Accessed October 14. http://www.artcenter.edu/student-life/overview.html
Art Center. 2021b. "Admissions." Accessed October 14. http://www.artcenter.edu/admissions/overview.html
California State University Long Beach. 2021. "University Outreach & School Relations." Accessed October 12, 2021.
https://www.csulb.edu/student-affairs/university-outreach-school-relations
Ichib0 (@ichib0). 2021. "Mask heh." Tik Tok, September 20, 2021. URL Link
Lucas, Christopher J. 2013. "Liberal Education: The Challenge of Consumerism, Careerism, and Commodification."
In Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, 203-214.
New York: Peter Lang.
UCLA. 2021a. "Undergraduate Admissions." The Regents of the University of California. Accessed October, 12, 2021.
https://www.ucla.edu/admission/undergraduate-admission
UCLA. 2021b. "Anthropology B.A. Degree." UCLA Social Sciences Computing . Accessed October 14, 2021.
https://anthro.ucla.edu/academics/undergraduate/bachelor-of-arts/
University of San Fransisco (@usfca_admissions). 2021. "Apply to USF for free." Tik Tok, October 9, 2021. URL Link