Draft 3
"MLA title"
Daunting are the number of choices seniors in high school face when considering the possibilities for the following year. I am considering different types of schools, each with particular deficits and benefits. Large schools are appealing because they offer a larger range of possibilities. Benefits include attending Division 1 sports like football and volleyball, wonderful opportunities at large cities, and a large breath of cultures.
Aaron Clopton, the director of Sports Management and an associate professor at the University of Kansas, states that students, "display greater levels of academic engagement" when they participate in athletics (108).
On the other hand, smaller schools offer a more intimate setting in which to participate in class discussions which are nearly impossible in a large university. A discussion with a professor is much more difficult to achieve at a large school for a freshman. Richard Weissbourd, the director of Making Caring Common, a project headed by the Harvard Department of Education which is attempting to change the way the admissions process is done stated, "nbnbnbnbnbnbnb" (9).
Works Cited
Bamberger, Cayla. "College Admissions Season Book-ended by Pandemic Wraps Up."
Connecticut Post, 01May 2021, p. B3.
Clopton, Aaron W. "The Impact of Athletics upon the Social; Sustainability of the College Campus."
Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. Devitis,
Peter Lang, 2013, pp. 106-119.
Jaschick, Scott, and Doug Lederman. "2019 Survey of College and University Admissions Officers:
A Study by Inside Higher Ed and Gallup" Inside Higher Ed, 2019.
Korankye, Thomas, and Charlene M. Kalenkoski. "Determinants of Parents' College Education
Saving Decisions." Journal of Personal Finance. Vol. 20 Issue 1, 2021, pp. 8-25.
Weissbourd, Richard. "Turning the Tide: Inspiring Concern for Others and the Common
Good through College Admissions." Making Caring Common A Project of the
Harvard Graduate School of Education, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 2017.
__________________________________
Draft 2
Comments
Used a good variety of In-text citations.
Tell what makes your author/source a EXPERT in this field and thus a "quote-worthy" source., You did not introduce your authors/sources well.
Minimal or no citation errors, Error - you need to space between the ending of your sentence and the beginning of your parentheses of your citations., Author's name misspelled.
Proofread your document., Single space your webpages.
You did NOT evalute your sources well., YOu did NOT compare your sources with one another., Error - you did not EVALUATE your sources. You need to criticize, praise and discuss your sources. Just don't cite them., There was a discussion and weighing of sources used in the paper.
YOu did NOT introduce a good foil (counterargument) and did NOT argue against it well.
Good intro., Good Voice. Good Tone.
Addressed the topic well. You argued your point about college considerations.
Yes - your paper used at least 10 citations
There were at least 5 different sources used from the book and 2 other printed sources., Error - There were not enough published sources from the current year.
Works Cited error - did not use italics for the "container"., Misspelled author's name.
Well written
Yes - there were 2 drafts.
(Wathington 23). = NO introduction, no evaluation, no comparison
Same with = (Weissboard 14), (Ludemon and Gregory 37), (Bound 1) and all your sources
MY OWN CHANGES
Daunting are the number of choices seniors in high school face when considering the possibilities for the following year. I am considering different types of schools, each with particular deficits and benefits. Large schools are appealing because they offer a larger range of possibilities. Benefits include attending Division 1 sports like football and volleyball, wonderful opportunities at large cities, and a large breath of cultures.
Aaron Clopton, the director of Sports Management and an associate professor at the University of Kansas, states that students, "display greater levels of academic engagement" when they participate in athletics (108).
On the other hand, smaller schools offer a more intimate setting in which to participate in class discussions which are nearly impossible in a large university. A discussion with a put foil here professor is much more difficult to achieve at a large school for a freshman. Richard Weissbourd, the director of Making Caring Common, a project headed by the Harvard Department of Education which is attempting to change the way the admissions process is done stated, "nbnbnbnbnbnbnb" (9).
Works Cited
Bamberger, Cayla. "College Admissions Season Book-ended by Pandemic Wraps Up."
Connecticut Post, 01May 2021, p. B3.
Clopton, Aaron W. "The Impact of Athletics upon the Social; Sustainability of the College Campus."
Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. Devitis,
Peter Lang, 2013, pp. 106-119.
Jaschick, Scott, and Doug Lederman. "2019 Survey of College and University Admissions Officers:
A Study by Inside Higher Ed and Gallup" Inside Higher Ed, 2019.
Korankye, Thomas, and Charlene M. Kalenkoski. "Determinants of Parents' College Education
Saving Decisions." Journal of Personal Finance. Vol. 20 Issue 1, 2021, pp. 8-25.
Weissbourd, Richard. "Turning the Tide: Inspiring Concern for Others and the Common
Good through College Admissions." Making Caring Common A Project of the
Harvard Graduate School of Education, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 2017.
___________________________________
Please use the following considerations when doing your partner's peer response for the summer reading essay.
Partner's email: xxxxxx@esusd.net
Your name: Raygen
Using a different color, type your comments:
Were at least 10 citations used in the paper? Were they done correctly? Yes there were 11 citations
Is this paper at least 80% completed (including 4 of 5 sources and 8 of 10 citations)?
Was the book cited at least 3-5 times using 3-5 different authors? Were they listed correctly?
Were a newspaper, magazine, and/or journal cited? Were there REAL page numbers listed for both? Were they listed correctly? Were there any sources without page numbers?
Were the periodicals all published in the current year?
Was the introduction interesting? Was it effective? Was the thesis stated well?
Did the essay make sense? Was it logical?
Was the essay written well? Was it interesting to read or was it boring?
Were authors introduced properly?
Were sources evaluated and compared?
Did your partner create a discussion between the sources?
Was a variety of styles used for the citations? Or was the same style used over and over?
What suggestions do you have to "kick it up a notch"?
Did your partner's argument about the factors to consider when choosing a college make sense? Did you to understand the reasoning? Do you think they are correct?
Was the essay written with passion or was it just going through the motions?
Was the MLA formatting done well?
Were there the minimum required sources with the current year of publication?
Spelling errors?
Grammatical errors?
Rubric Score (1-6):
Draft 1
"title"
Daunting are the number of choices seniors in high school face when considering the possibilities for the following year. I am considering different types of schools, each with particular deficits and benefits. I do not understand… Large schools are appealing because they offer a larger range of possibilities. Benefits include attending Division 1 sports like football and volleyball, wonderful opportunities at large cities, and a large breath of cultures.
Aaron Clopton, the director of Sports Management and an associate professor at the University of Kansas, states that students, "display greater levels of academic engagement" when they participate in athletics (108).
On the other hand, smaller schools you need a citation here. And transitionoffer a more intimate setting in which to participate in class discussions which are nearly impossible in a large university. A discussion with a professor is much more difficult to achieve at a large school for a freshman. Richard Weissbourd, the director of Making Caring Common, a project headed by the Harvard Department of Education which is attempting to change the way the admissions process is done stated, "nbnbnbnbnbnbnb" (9).
Works Cited
Bamberger, Cayla. "College Admissions Season Book-ended by Pandemic Wraps Up."
Connecticut Post, 01May 2021, p. B3.
Clopton, Aaron W. "The Impact of Athletics upon the Social; Sustainability of the College Campus."
Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. Devitis,
Peter Lang, 2013, pp. 106-119.
Jaschick, Scott, and Doug Lederman. "2019 Survey of College and University Admissions Officers:
A Study by Inside Higher Ed and Gallup" Inside Higher Ed, 2019.
Korankye, Thomas, and Charlene M. Kalenkoski. "Determinants of Parents' College Education
Saving Decisions." Journal of Personal Finance. Vol. 20 Issue 1, 2021, pp. 8-25.
Weissbourd, Richard. "Turning the Tide: Inspiring Concern for Others and the Common
Good through College Admissions." Making Caring Common A Project of the
Harvard Graduate School of Education, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 2017.