... note(s) ...

              select ::  reflection(s)  / diary  /  quote(s) / scribble / etc   / ...

6/3: ... it is time to get back on track ... during and after our travel no writing, no drawing, only reading and thinking, about the issue(s) of life, dilemma(s), my physical condition, and of course politic(s) ... how to deal with situation(s) of conflict, which require the power to adapt, and face reality in a rational way, and at some point(s) a choice... between discipline and ambition(s), and of course my advice is clear ... walk slow and go with the flow ... even though, indeed, I might get lost in intellectualism(s), well, it is usually just a game of word(s), which may lead to confusion ... but that is my way to act, as a guide on the side ... I listen to the noise, and make a choice ... either for silence, or to use my voice, throw some word(s), and then wait ... but how do I know what to throw, and often I ask my self why even try ... and when I make an error, by ignorance or stupidity, there is only one answer, accept, reflect, value your failure(s), clear your mind, and continue, act slow, and, go with the, well by now you know, indeed, the flow ... the flow of life ...   

9/3: ... a busy mind, even though my life to well-organized, and there is nothing that really needs to be done, there is the pressure of time, do this, do that, but why, and what, not for the reward(s), but perhaps simply to have an empty todo list ... and a record of action(s) ... look, I did it ... like writing, another task, but it might howe value to express my doubt(s),... yesterday was women(s) day, I went to the place where there was a music and dance performance, in fear. to be an outsider, but I mixed with the crowd, surprisingly well, still I was in doubt and when the dancer came to me to pick a leaf of her body, I just gave her a look, in doubt what to do ... then she moved on ... doubt from a lack of vision, and not sure how to act, and before, in doubt whether to go or not, I did go, due to advice of my daughter, and together with my wife, it was a good experience, watch, have something to eat and talk, and after that walk home ... of course with some pain, but, you know ... no pain no gain ...   

11/3: ... writing at my desk, with support for my tool, a long time ago since I did that, usually I write in my corner, but now, after my meal, in doubt whether I should have taken the pizza instead of the sate, again in doubt, error after error. time to throw some word(s), in an attempt to embrace life and accept both my error(s) and my limit(s), but, indeed, failure -- try again, and let it go, take a breath and find the right posture, whatever the issue(s) are ... domestic conflicts, children at school, kempo politic(s), it doesn't matter, keep balance and the discipline to exercise, challenge your attitude and follow your inner guide(s), just manage your time flow, and look at your shadow mind, reflect on your experience(s) and embrace life, tomorrow is another day, well, no comment on that, just focus attention on what is of value, connect and join the party, frame your goal(s), and face reality, and in case of error(s), again, adapt, set limits, and get the work done, control your effort(s), and listen to the music set by your theme(s), so if you think I talk to myself, you're right, but you may read it like a joke song ... flame ... the brain on fire ...   

14/3:... another day, what can I say ... het viel wel mee ... a confrontation with my history, a flash of memory, recollection(s) from my kempo past, being part of the tough guys, well, you know, rebel go for it, in other word(s). part of the crowd... in search of... what ... what was it that gave us the power, the energy, the dedication and motivation to train kempo ... a slow, almost invisible process of growth, which gave each of us a community that had a positive impact on our self-esteem and gave us the force we needed to deal with the confrontation(s) and conflict(s) in our life ... any way, all I can say, I did it my way, and apart from my memory, at my age I can still practice, but now as a guide on the side, give advice, throw some word(s), and, indeed, that is why I write ... to be able to talk the walk, and strumble along ... to assist other people to find the way ... and show how to go with the flow ... the flow of kempo ...   

15/3:... why write ... the more I read about writing ... and to be honest I find I read too much, in my home corner, book after book, .. it takes discipline to get out and walk, a moral obligation, day by day, today to the park, and I was in doubt, but I did not take the fly wheel ... instead, I look at the crowd, make an effort to keep my balance, and find a place to smoke, after all, you know, life is not a joke, and with a busy mind, money issue(s), what to eat, where to go, the answer to my question is clear ... just throw some word(s) , to create the image(s) for my self that I take action, and in a way, just to write what you have to say, with the pen in the hand, gives some relief ... from the pressure(s) of the day, and once more I can say, to complete my creative task(s), to end the day, in an intellectual way, take distance from the affair(s) and the demand(s) of life, a reflection in word(s), to set the theme(s) for the future, and let the stream of thought(s) out, to find the way ... to continue ... in other word(s), to throw, indeed, is a way to go with the flow ... the flow of life ...   

16/3:... to continue the question(s) ... why... why this, why that .. or, differently ... why not this, why not that ... or, why this and not that ... well, it is just a game of word(s), an excuse to write down whatever comes to mind, not as a craft, but more a joke of some kind, throw word(s) just for the fun of it, but to be more serious, indeed, why write .. and if so, what to write ... and, as I indicated, after reading so much about writing it also means what not to write ... if I take as a question why die, the answer is clear, it is to allow ourselves the gift of fear, to transform the anxiety and stress of life into a positive experience, by posture and breath, to challenge your attitude, set your goal(s), and, despite the pain, gain the reward(s) ... in other word(s), face reality and be happy with a zen state of mind ... a clear vision that allows you to follow the power line ... so, what I will not write about, for now, is the details of my daily affair(s), the sense perception(s) of what I observe, the story of my life ... well perhaps in the future, for now it is just a way to take some distance, throw some word(s) ... indeed, just for the fun of it ...   

18/3:... election day, it is a matter of choice, politic(s) ... again, I was in doubt, but I am happy I was corrected by my wife, who did select the local candidate  I had an eye on, that is life, and after that we sat on the market place, with something to eat and had a talk, about a new patient who is close to death ... take it as an experience, was my advice ... a busy life ... the children at school ... they do the work, all of them ... a lot ... well, this could be part of a story, but, no, it has no plot ,.. just one of the event(s) of daily life ... I look at my todo list,. not a busy life, but still things to do ... face reality ... meet people, go training, and, apart from reading my book(s), I try to bring up the discipline to do my exercise(s), find the power line and balance ... another task I set myself, even though I feel old and suffer from the cold, and to repeat my refrain, no pain no gain, and one way or another it almost sounds like my life story, but, indeed, where is the plot ...