1/1: milaan, milu, mila, milo, a thousand miles from here, ski, on my list of things not to do but it looked feasible, city -- walk slow, speed -- move / practice, life -- no fun
3/1: ... the day after the mountain, the best view I have ever seen, better them Tibet, but I think an image cannot represent it.. I took many pictures, they look impressive, and, yes, it was worth the challenge, but the mood was melancholic,.. yet I enjoyed the energy of my wife and children, eventhough I had to dig deep to find my own energy, Enough for now, exercise, waiting for breakfast. and yes, I write to take distance, in particular from my self, and yet to stay connected to the theatre of life, in particular family and children! What is there left to say? And after some doubt, well, you know, when in doubt -- twijfel -- I managed to do my third round of balance exercises, indeed, 3, for the last time in this apartment, but, life goes on, and I will keep with my strategy - follow the crowd!
12/1: memory -- shadow image: writing, drawing, taking care of domestic duties, buying food, watching the children, life goes on, a never ending story, although at the horizon lies death, as testified by my sister, who passed away a few weeks ago, and looking at the photograph my oldest daughter send me, it was her time. For myself, I think there is a good chance to continue life in a good way, even though I feel the cold be cause I am getting old, and the pain when I walk in the rain, but am still there ready to fight, when I might, and, being precise, keep the discipline of doing exercise, and, indeed, even after a challenging walk, I am ready to talk, about the issues of life, love, children, family, you name it, and I'll be there, pretending to be present, and indeed, serious of mind, to assure, that you, or whoever, is kind, to me, that is.
15/1: Another day, what can I say; is it time to write, or draw or scribble, or am I too anxious to be productive, not to lose time, eager to get the attention of other people, by an occasional like, and afraid to loose my skill, or strength, and the reward of productivity, basically a sense of value I think. Part of the day wearing slippers against cold feet, and now for the last few hours barefect, to strengthen my self and create resistance, not by pills, her simply by being able to bear the discomfort of cold feet, in the hope of, moved, creating resistance, making them stronger. Will it be possible to run again in the not too far future? I hope so, and perhaps I should make the effort, go out, and run, or as I said before, recover (my) universe now. Well, perhaps, if the weather allows, but in the meantime I just keep walking!
19/1: Life goes on, family life, in particular.. Three busy woman, or should I say girls, with a schedule of school and work, who have to study, and complete tasks, set goals, and keep track of their activities. In comparison my life is empty lacking structure, that is, a structure imposed by the external environment. Instead, I have to create structure by adopting a discipline in accordance with self-imposed goals, which are, in my case, to some extent related to expected, or hoped for, recognition by the external world, which, indeed, is a sign molicating a competitive mind. Ironically, my last drawing, posted on facebook, the fight scene taken at the parents meeting got four likes, even though I considered it of less quality than the ones previously posted on facebook, but no like so far on instagram. Apparently,there is a different crowd on these social media, which comes to expression in a difference in taste, read likes, in the appreciation of artistic items. On the background, of appreciation, there are of course also political issues, that is likes given with the intention to attract attention to the act of attention itself. Not so much a power game, or even a status game, but still playing with moments of attention as a means to gain esteem and to enhance self-esteem. Nevertheless, for whatever reason lies behind them, these likes make me happy, that is happy being recognized explicitly as a person able to be productive in a creative medium, drawing in this case, with a strong personal style, a style which is improving over time,-even though this introduces an element of artifciality, that is self-conscious effects!