Recite the first verse of 'Matchmaker' from Fiddler on the Roof:
(http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/fiddlerontheroof/matchmaker.htm)
Jane Austen always has a nosy, busy body matchmaker. Sometimes it is the heroine, like Emma, trying to match people up.
Perhaps you are a bit of a matchmaker. After all, sometimes love needs a little encouragement.
We all poo poo arranged marriages in our society, and look down our nose on matchmakers. Except, of course, when we really want to find someone. Then we thank God for all the help we can get. Think of the interest in online dating sites like eharmony. TV shows like Somebody Marry My Boy or Farmer Wants a Wife or Beauty and the Geek. Then we don’t mind, and it’s OK.
Of course, matchmaking is always a delicate and high stakes game. Things can go horribly wrong. People can and do get badly hurt. Because love is a battlefield. And “no battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy”[1].
In chapter 2, we saw that Ruth the poor young Moabite widow goes out to gather left over grain. She hopes to feed her and her mother-in-law Naomi for that day. But from her first day of work, she comes back to Naomi with supplies to feed an army. And Naomi realizes that someone has shown extra-ordinary kindness to her. It turns out, in the providence of God, to be Boaz. Boaz is a relative of Naomi and Ruth’s husbands. He is in fact, one of their ‘Kinsman-Redeemers’. Boaz is a man of substance and character, who knows his obligations under God’s law to provide for Naomi and Ruth. And he has already started caring for them.
But Naomi knows that Boaz’ obligations may yet extend further. As a Kinsman-Redeemer, it may indeed fall to Boaz to ensure the widow of an Israelite has a son. In Israelite family law, a son would carry on the name of the dead man and also keep the ancestral property in the family[2]. And remember, in a subsistence agriculture economy in the days before pensions and superannuation, your sons and grandsons working your ancestral land were your pension and superannuation. You don’t have a son, you may not eat.
And so, as the harvesting draws to a close, Naomi hatches a plan. She suspects Boaz is partial to Ruth. So she wants to force his hand, and bring the matter of Boaz marrying Ruth to a head. Naomi hatches a bold plan to find Ruth rest and ensure both Ruth’s and her security.
Ruth chapter 3 verse 1:
One day[3] Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, should I not try to find a home for you, where you will be well provided for?
Literally, 'Shouldn’t I seek rest[4] for you which will be good for you?' Naomi wants good things for her daughter-in-law. And of course, such good things can only be a blessing to Naomi as well.
In chapter 1 verse 9, Naomi thought the only way Ruth could find rest was to send Ruth back to Chemosh and the gods of Moab. But Boaz’ kindness shows that good things like rest and a home are especially found with the God of Israel.
Rest is not found with false gods. Remember, we now know more about rest. Jesus said, ‘Come to me all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest’ (Matthew 11:28). Rest is found in Jesus, God’s Messiah.
And the fact that Ruth has found grace in Boaz’ eyes has got Naomi thinking. In fact, more than thinking, actually plotting and scheming. Since the beginning of the harvest, Naomi has seen Boaz’ regard for Ruth. He has shown her extraordinary attentions and kindness. Shouldn’t this blossom into something more? Boaz has been gentlemanly, fatherly and protective. But Naomi thinks Boaz can provide more and be more. Boaz has not yet done anything more romantic.
Perhaps this is to his credit. After all, Ruth is a widow. Perhaps he wants to give her space to grieve and not move in to quick. She has only spent only a few weeks in her new country.
Moreover, Boaz considers himself as old. He might well wonder if he is too old for Ruth. This is to his credit, given the propensity we see of men in their mid-life crises trying to snare the pretty young girl in the face of their own oncoming decrepitness. Whether it is through lack of confidence, or thinking of Ruth’s interests, Boaz has not made his move on Ruth.
Boaz needs some encouragement. Suitors often do. We blokes are slow to moves, basically because we hate rejection. So Naomi hatches a plan. Verses 2 to 4:
"Is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been, a kinsman of ours[5]? Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do." (NIV)
Naomi’s plan seems strange to our ears. But it involves Ruth making a marriage proposal to Boaz. There you go. Here in the bible, is a woman proposing to a man! So much for the bible being ‘so called traditional’.
And Naomi is shrewd. She wants Ruth at her best, hence the bath and perfume. And Naomi wants Boaz at his best. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. And Naomi doesn’t want Boaz tired and hungry, but well fed and happy.
We should not think of Ruth’s ‘best clothes’ so much as her evening dress, like young women wearing glittering fashions with plunging necklines and backlines for their walk on the red carpet. Remember, it is dark, there are no bright lights in the fields outside Bethlehem, and Ruth has to stay hidden. Instead, Ruth is sent out at night, wearing on top of her normal clothes a large square garment more like an overcoat or a poncho, which will keep her warm at night and which she can sleep in. The garment may also indicate that Ruth is to cease mourning for her husband and get on with normal life.
Naomi is sending Ruth out in the night to bivouac at the threshing floor. And she is also to be prepared for marriage. It may well be that this night will be Ruth’s wedding night. This is more than encouragement. This will force Boaz’ hand.
The question is, ‘What will Ruth do?’ Ruth has already bound herself to Naomi in the strongest possible terms. We are given to expect that Ruth will put her trust in Naomi’s plan. And so she does, as we read in verses 5 to 7:
"I will do whatever you say," Ruth answered. So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do. When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet [or legs] and lay down. (NIV)
Ruth is trusting both Naomi and Boaz with her chastity, her reputation[6], and perhaps even, in the time of judges, when everybody did as he saw fit, with her very life. At one level, Naomi’s was not a very smart plan. It was high risk. Ruth could have been raped or kidnapped on the way. And what about Boaz? Would this plan open him up to temptation of taking advantage of Ruth? Would he think of Ruth as a prostitute and be repelled by her, or be angered?
Nevertheless, Ruth trustingly follows Naomi’s risky and, from one perspective unwise advice. Boaz eats, drinks, has his fill, and lies down to sleep. Ruth uncovers his feet and legs and lies down at them. These actions are probably Ruth inviting Boas to enter into a Levirite marriage. Verse 8 to 9:
In the middle of the night something startled the man, and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet. "Who are you?" he asked. "I am your servant Ruth," she said. "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer." (NIV)
Boaz wakes up, probably because of the cold air on his uncovered legs. And Ruth identifies herself and invites Boaz to take up the traditional responsibility of a brother-in-law to provide children for the widow and continue the name of the dead husband Israel (compare Genesis 38). She invites him to marry her as her ‘kinsman-redeemer’. Verse 9 again:
Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer (NIV)
Ruth’s proposal picks up Boaz’ blessing in chapter 2 verse 12. Boaz blessed Ruth because she had come to take refuge under Yahweh’s wings. Well, now, Ruth is asking Boaz to spread his wing over her[7], because he is a kinsman redeemer. Ruth is saying, ‘The way Yahweh will spread his wing over me is by you fulfilling the role of levirate husband.’
Ruth seeks the thing any godly Israelite widow wants, and that is for the brother-in-law (or in this case, the next of kin) on the husband’s side to provide a son so that the name of Elimelech and Mahlon does not disappear from the records of Israel (Deuteronomy 25:5-10). Ruth wants someone from Elimelech’s clan to marry her so that the ancestral property stays within the family. In doing so, Ruth is acting like a righteous Israelite widow, showing her concern for her dead father-in-law and husband[8].
Now, Boaz has worked hard all day. He had something to drink that evening. He has been startled from deep sleep, he is probably still half asleep And Ruth asks him to marry her. Not the best head space for a wise and sensible decision.
But it doesn’t seem to matter to Boaz. Boaz has probably been thinking about this for weeks. Ruth’s proposal, it seems, is an answer to Boaz secret hopes. Verse 10:
"The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier[9]:
Again, Boaz is blessing Ruth. But this time, Boaz blesses her because of Ruth’s love and kindness toward himself. Boaz is saying that Ruth’s faithful steadfast kindness and love towards him is even greater than what she has shown Naomi. In making the offer of levirate marriage, Ruth has been kinder to Boaz than she was even to Naomi, whom she covenanted to follow.
In other words, Boaz wants to marry her, and is really glad that Ruth wants to marry him. Boaz felt that he didn’t have much chance, compared to the others. The last part of verse 10:
You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. (NIV)
Boaz doesn’t think himself an eligible bachelor. He is small in his own eyes. He is no longer in the prime of life. Boaz is aware that their respective ages are a hurdle. There have been plenty of young men around. But Ruth has bypassed the vigour of youth and the attraction of wealth. She has patiently waited, despite the pressures of poverty, for she wishes to marry in accordance with God’s design. As an Israelite widow, she wants to marry a ‘kinsman-redeemer’.
Well, what is God’s will for marriage for us? For Ruth, it was to marry a kinsman redeemer.
For us, God’s will is two fold. First, marriage is the voluntary union of a man and a woman for life to the exclusion of all others. Second, it is to marry a Christian.
First, Matthew chapter 19 verses 4 to 6:
"Haven't you read," [Jesus] replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:4-6 NIV)
Second, for the unmarried Christian, a Christian believer is to marry another Christian believer. 2 Corinthians 6:14-15:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (NIV)
Or as Paul says of widows, in 1 Corinthians 7:39:
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. (NIV)
Ruth sought marriage in accordance with God’s design. She sought marriage from her Goel, from her kinsman-redeemer. And may we do likewise. May we like Ruth patiently entrusting ourselves to God with humble obedience, and wait for the godly Christian who is free to marry, and don’t run after the ones that seem so good but are not within God’s revealed will for us.
Why is Boaz so keen to marry Ruth? It’s found in verse 11:
And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen[10] know that you are a woman of noble character[11].
Boaz says ‘Yes’, to Ruth’s proposal, but notice why. She is 'a woman of noble character' (Ruth 3:11). This phrase is used three times in the Old Testament. Here, it describes Ruth. And twice in Proverbs. Proverbs 12:4:
A wife of noble character is her husband's crown (NIV)
And again, Proverbs 31:10:
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. (NIV)
In fact, in some versions of the Old Testament, in the order of the books of the Old Testament, Ruth is placed immediately after Proverbs 31[12]. And in that order, the book of Ruth immediately follows the ‘Woman of Noble Character’ in Proverbs 31:10-31. Ruth, then, is the prime example of the wife of noble character. She is loyal, faithful, hardworking, loving, caring for her family, respected and respectful. This nobility of character has given Ruth a good reputation during the eight or so weeks she has lived in Bethlehem. And we see that this is what makes the match a good one. Not their virility, their handsomeness, their youthful vigour, but that both Ruth and Boaz are both worthy in character. Both Ruth and Boaz show hesed, kindness, steadfast love and faithfulness. So here indeed is a match made in heaven.
A true match made in heaven, starts with two people of character, who have a common faith in a common Lord, who make promises before that Lord -- who for us is the Lord Jesus Christ -- and live with faithful hesed, faithful loving other person centred kindness, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until they are parted by death. That and that alone, is the match made in heaven.
But there is a complication for Boaz and Ruth. Like every good love story, there is a contender to Boaz. And perhaps this other, closer kinsman-redeemer will take Ruth.
In the sovereignty of God, there is a closer kinsman-redeemer. God has in his sovereignty placed an impediment, a test, for the new couple. They will need to wait before they consummate their marriage. And perhaps Naomi knew this. In chapter 2, Naomi had actually said, Boaz is ‘one of our kinsman-redeemers’. And now, at night on the threshing floor, Boaz explains in verses 12 to 13:
"Although it is true that I am near of kin, there is a kinsman-redeemer nearer than I. Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to redeem, good; let him redeem. But if he is not willing, as surely as the LORD lives I will do it. Lie here until morning." (NIV)
Ruth is not yet unattached. There is someone who has a greater claim, according to the customs of the Israelites. Despite Ruth’s offer, Ruth is not available for Boaz’ to take. And so Boaz does not take her. It’s hands off, until everything can be sorted out. And that is why Boaz is righteous. He won’t take what is not his to take. Here is a good example for the unmarried. Don't take what's not yours, not until you are married.
Now that he knows Ruth’s feelings, Boaz will go first thing in the morning and see if he can free Ruth from the claims of the other man.
So there is nothing to be done except try and sleep. But I doubt neither of them got much sleep that night. Boaz had to work out how to approach the other relative.
And I doubt Ruth slept well. She’s been in a new country for 8 weeks. She has just snuck out to propose marriage to her employer. And he has said ‘Well, I’d love to, but maybe you have to marry someone you’ve never met’. I don’t think she slept well at all. She gets up to leave before dawn. Verses 14 and 15:
So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized; and he said, "Don't let it be known that a woman came to the threshing floor." He also said, "Bring me the shawl you are wearing and hold it out." When she did so, he poured into it six measures of barley and put it on her. (NIV)
With such a show of gratitude, love and faithfulness, Boaz has two concerns for the two widows.
First, he wants to now protect Ruth’s reputation. Clearly, Ruth had been forward and vulnerable in following Naomi’s instructions. But no sexual impropriety had happened, because Boaz recognized the claim of his relative. So there is no reason for scandal (Ruth 3:14). Boaz is noble, but he is also shrewd. Joseph as a righteous man did not want to expose Mary to public disgrace, and likewise Boaz doesn’t wish to expose Ruth to public talk. So Ruth leaves before first light, and she needs to show discretion about talking about what has transpired. Sure the whole thing will come out. After all, we are reading about it now. But only after it is all settled with it become public knowledge how the match was made.
Second, Boaz is ever concerned to provide for Naomi, a widow among his people. Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty handed. Boaz’ hesed is the way that Naomi’s ‘fullness’ will be restored. (Ruth 3:17)
Ruth is not the only one who leaves before first light. Boaz himself leaves after he loads Ruth up with food. Notice the last bit of verse 15:
Then he went back to town[13].
Boaz is now a man of action. Previously, he was kind, generous, and fatherly, but made no romantic moves. Now, after Ruth’s encouraging proposal, he acts decisively to free Ruth so she can be his wife. Noami was right in verse 18 to say:
Then Naomi said, "Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today."
Ruth has acted. Now she must wait. The ball is in Boaz’ court. Boaz is now stirred into action and will not rest until the matter is sorted. And now all the widow Ruth can do is wait. One now needs to act. Another now needs to wait.
And friends, sometimes we need to act and not rest. And sometimes we need to rest and not act. The so-called serenity prayer, used by AA and others, captures this.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer)
Ruth must be serenely waiting and accepting things outside her control. And that includes who she must marry.
This high stakes game Naomi is playing could backfire badly. Ruth could get stuck with some other bloke. But Ruth needs serenity to trust God in it.
For Boaz, he now needs to show courage and shrewdness, and act. More of that next time.
Ruth boldly asks Boaz for what she wants. She should be commended for her boldness. And those of us who know the end of the story know she shall receive what she asks for. Boaz will be both willing and able. But at the moment, Boaz is not able, he is only willing.
It may be that we can fruitfully use Ruth as a model for our prayers. Jesus calls us to ask and receive, seek and find, knock and the door will be opened.
Jesus is our Kinsman-Redeemer, bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh. Jesus Christ gave his flesh for us in payment for our sins. And we are called to call on him, and keep calling on him, for the things we need.
But like Ruth, we may need to wait for a short time. God may put a complication, an impediment, a time of waiting, in our way, before the consummation of our desires.
How shall we wait? Well, let’s keep asking. Let’s not give up. For Jesus speaks of another widow making a bold request. And she keeps coming back and making the request of the one who can help. And in the end, she gets what she wants.
Friends, use Ruth’s boldness in asking Boaz for marriage as an example for your prayers. Be as bold as Ruth in asking for what you want. Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence that we may receive mercy in our time of need. God may provide a complication. But he is able and willing to give us everything good for us.
Let’s pray.
[1] Helmuth von Moltke, a 19th-century head of the Prussian army: http://www.economist.com/node/18712682
[2] The practice of Levir (Brother-in-law) Marriage actually predates the law of Moses. So Genesis 38:8-9 where Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother." The one piece of case law we are given is Deuteronomy 25:5-10, which reads: ‘If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband's brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. 6 The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel. 7 However, if a man does not want to marry his brother's wife, she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, "My husband's brother refuses to carry on his brother's name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to me." 8 Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying, "I do not want to marry her," 9 his brother's widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, "This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother's family line." 10 That man's line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled. However, this case law does not exhaust the situations in which a near kinsman has responsibilities for widows, as shown by the book of Ruth. The Sadducees of Jesus’ day understood Moses to be saying this, in Matthew 22:24 "Teacher," they said, "Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. (NIV)
[3] ‘one day’ not in MT, and NIV gives too much distance between chapters 2 & 3.
[4] Hebrew x:Anm' rest, see Ruth 1:9, which is the feminine form of the noun.
[5] 2And now, is not Boaz our kin, with whose young women you have been? And behold, he is scattering/winnowing [at the] threshing floor the barley tonight, 3And you have washed and anointed [perhaps lotioned and perfumed herself] and put on your poncho [a square piece of cloth worn over other clothes as a covering in sleep or receptacle for articles] upon yourself, and go down [qere; ketib, and I shall go down] to the threshing floor. Do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. 4And when it comes about when he lies down, know the place where he lies down there, and go and uncover from his feet and lie down and he will tell you that which you should do.
[6] Prostitutes offered themselves to men at threshing floors (Hosea 9:1)
[7] ESV Ruth 3:9 He said, "Who are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth, your servant. Spread your wings (^p,n"k.) over your servant, for you are a redeemer."
[8] Even the somewhat lustful Judah confesses that his daughter-in-law was more righteous than he when she dressed as a prostitute to get him to have sex with her: Genesis 38. If she is more righteous, who did it by deception, how much more is Ruth, who sought to do so with a culturally appropriate request.
[9] Lit, ‘May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter. Your hesed coming after is better than the first one – not to walk after the young men in their prime, whether poor or whether rich
[10] Lit, 'all the gate of my city'
[11] Literally, strong/wealthy woman, lyIx:ß tv,aeî. Chayil is also used of Boaz in Ruth 2:1, a mighty man of wealth, lyIx;ê rABæGI vyai. Their characters are well suited to each other. The meaning of Chayil here is unlikely to mean wealth, more like ‘substance’, ‘depth’, ‘character’. Just as Boaz is a mighty man of substance, so is Ruth. It is a fitting match. The same adjective is used in 4:11 of the townsmen’s blessing of Boaz. The same description is used of those to be appointed as leaders of the people by Moses (Exodus 18:21, 25), Israel’s soldiers (Deuteronomy 3:18); Moab’s soldiers (Judges 3:29); Jephthah (Judges 11:1); the spies the tribe of Dan sent (Judges 18:2); the soldiers of Benjamin (Judges 20:44, 46), Kish (1 Sa 9:1), those whom Saul took to himself (1 Samuel 14:52), David (1 Samuel 16:18); those who rescued Saul and Jonathan’s bodies (1 Samuel 31:12), those who slew Uriah (2 Samuel 11:16). It can mean physically strong, or of standing, or of substance, or rich and powerful.
[12] In the Leningrad Codex, Ruth is placed as the first of the five scrolls, immediately after Proverbs: B Webb, Five Festal Garments, 52. Note Block’s comment, ‘This arrangement is propitious, for it places the story of Ruth immediately after the alphabetic celebration of wifely nobility in Prov 31:10-31. Did the Masoretes view Ruth and/or Naomi as exemplars of the type of woman there described’: D I Block, Judges, Ruth: NAC, 589
[13] Most Hebrew manuscripts read ‘then he went back to town’, but many Hebrew manuscripts, Vulgate and Syriac read ‘she’. The NIV reading should be preferred as the harder one.