How have I scored one more point in my personal match against the Swiss customs..

First of all let me state that I do have mixed feelings towards Switzerland as a country & as a culture. My very first contact with the West, as early as 1996 happened here and I do admire as much the Swiss culture as I look down on it. I see good things around and I see arrogance and superiority that I can hardly bear.

Throughout the years, I have challenged continously their arrogant treatment towards foreigners and I recorded some worth telling stories. Two of them come now to my mind (1) Driving from Austria, I enter the German part of Switzerland (Switzerland consists of 4 main areas: German, French, Italian and Romancsh) and although everybody with a Swiss, Austrian or German plate crosses the border peacefully, my car gets pulled aside. I had the wrong plates, the Romanian ones. The officers asks me what am I doing in Switzerland, what is reason for entering the country and what goods am I transporting. I answer to him that I have learned how poorly paid is the Swiss workforce and as we are running short of cheap labor in Romania I would like to recruit some Swiss guys to work for me. Besides in Romania we enjoy much higher income and a much better living standard. The guy freaks out. I have scored 1-0, he turns red in his face, then yellow, almost like a traffic light..then he fights back by pointing out my radar detector which I stupidly forgot to remove from my windshield. He confiscates the thing, scoring 1-1..then asks me to step on it before throwing it to the garbage just to make sure nobody woudl take it. I reply to him that I would rather place it as it is in the garbage bin, 'cause a poor Swiss might take it and use it, while we, in Romania, can afford ten others anytime,..the match ends kind of in my favor..but not 2-1..

Next year, I return from South of France and enter Switzerland through Geneva. The customs officers stop me and ask me whether I look for a job in Switzerland. I laugh out loud..and belive me..I can laugh as loud as to wake up the entire customs area (1.00 AM). The guy asks why am I laughing but I can stop laughing. He gets nervous..finally I tell him that his joke was sooo good. He doesn't get it and asks me why? I reply to him that in Romania we make 5-6 times more money and there are waves of Swiss people looking for jobs in Romania, how could I downgrade to look for a job in this non EU country of Switzerland. The guy is shocked..then he asks me to open the trunk. I didn't get the French word for trunk and I ask him to repeat. He thought I was opposing to open the trunk and explains to me that according to this and that law I should obbey and open the trunk. Finally I got his point so I let him see my swimming shorts and my ball in the trunk and scored a solid 1-0, bringing the score down to 2-1.

Last week, driving to Switzerland again, from Germany, I kept on thinking what other funny game shall I play with then guys when I figure out it should be the language game this time. According to the Swiss law, the state clerks including the customs guys should speak both German and French as the official languages of the country. In reality, the German Swiss don't speak much French and the other way around, although they both study the others' language for 10 years in schools. So here I am in the border again. Everybody passes, my car is pulled on the right. The guys asks me things in German, I answer: "Bonjour monsieur, comment ca va". The guy asks me whether I speak English, I answer to him "Unfortunately my level of English doesn't allow me to conversate in an appropriate manner, therefore I prefer to continue in French, the official language of your country". The guy can't say much, I know he does his job, but why the hack is he stopping just me, because of my plates..?! He ask his colleagues to help with the language so all 4 of them working that shift in the customs come and struggle to gather French words. I am very patient, they really work hard to ask me about transporting cigarettes, meat or alcohol, the customs is blocked since all personnel is there with me, people are getting nervous. After 5 minutes they let me go, frustrated and red in the faces, I realize I definitely scored for 3-1. The game is still on...