Communication with students:
Clarity of requirements: Especially for behaviour, also of tasks. Fully engaged students have less time to be creative in how they will use their time. At the same time if uncertain of task there is an increases chance students will be creative in finding something to do.
Addressing needs: Increases cooperation and importantly willingness to do what is required.
Provide choice: By offering choice in their behaviour they are taught to take responsibility for their choices and behaviour. This is choice within appropriate boundaries.
Support and empower students ability to think, make effective decisions and become resourceful in meeting their and social needs.
This requires the development of thinking skills, ownership, impact of behaviour on others, respect, decision making, planning, asking for help, follow through. Going beyond academic intelligence to embrace cognitive, emotional and social intelligence.
Yet at times the need to deal with difficult or challenge behaviour will occur. Clear boundaries with consequences and the ability to recognise the different levels of frustration and anger will assist managing these situations more effectively.
From CRN course:
Dealing with others emotions Unit 6.
Fauteux, K. (2011) Defusing Angry People New Horizons press, Far Hills, NJ USA.
In this book Fauteux discusses both how to 'recognise anger', including the different levels from frustration to threats, and how to respond constructively to reduce/ manage the anger. Importantly he addresses your automatic reaction and the need for each of us to manage our own in order to deal constructively with others anger as well how to keep oneself safe. Thus it is overcomes the over simplification often seen in dealing with anger sources. The definition of 'sociopaths' on pg 168 reminds us that while at times others anger is based in frustration, the first level of anger, it is not always possible to negotiate our way around anger.
This is one reason being able to set and manage clear boundaries is important. Not so much as a domination choice, as an appropriate response to maintaining a safe environment as well as teaching socially appropriate and resourceful strategies to meet needs.
Need to add in from TLN program with Daniel Cohen.
For more see Communication: Care, Connect, Contribute.
Acknowledge behaviour that you want.
Support the core values at the root of self esteem: Autonomy, Sense of Significance, Sense of belonging (personal needs).