If I Were the Devil

If I were the Prince of Darkness I would want to engulf the whole earth in darkness*. With light being brotherly love and respect, I'd naturally set about how to extinguish that love and promote division.

I'd have a third of the earth's real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree*. A country bent on freedom, unalienable rights, and equality for all mankind.

So I should set about however necessary, to take over the United States*.

I would begin and end with a campaign of division--the precursory opposite to kindness and love.

With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper the same thing I said to the Pharisees, "Only those of your faith are good. The rest are evil and rightly deserve eternal death and torment."

To the young I'd whisper, "You are better than others. Your beliefs make you so. The others are out to steal your faith with a guise of wisdom. They are traitorous and evil. Do not listen to them!"

In the ears of the young married I would whisper to uphold archaic inequalities that man is over woman. I would express that they own each other and are one as opposed to two separate people deserving individual rights and respect.

And the old I would teach to pray -- that is, to dully repeat --"Our father which are in Heaven" without lifting a finger to help anyone and to never question hand-me-down beliefs--to be rigid in their ways.

Then I'd get organized*.

I'd educate authors to abandon reason and to proclaim expertise in the ways of a once-speaking but now silent God. I'd teach them methods to prey on the weak and obtain their fortunes through tricks and showmanship.

I'd threaten TV with false prophets offering false miracles in exchange for misplaced faith.

I'd infiltrate unions and urge more discrimination via religion and false morality.

I'd peddle merchandise to whom I could to further the "us vs them" mentality and encourage others to join my club.

If I were the Devil, I would encourage schools to leave behind facts and thinking for one's self and teach more faith in dogma and ancient texts.

Within a decade I'd have kids feeling so isolated, unloved, and incapable of resolving the conflict of division that they'll be shooting up schools and committing suicide.

I'd designate religious leaders to front for me in the highest courts to remove the rights of others on the basis of faith and freedom of religion.

With flattery and promises of joy, happiness, and eternal life I would get the courts to vote against true freedom and rights in favor of false morals that further division and discrimination as opposed to love.

Thus I would evict concern for one's neighbor from the land of the free and encourage strife from within schools and the Houses of Congress.

Then in churches I would substitute messages of respect, equality, and love, for personal forgiveness, gratitude of faith, and basking in the feelings of what has been given them.

I would replace actual morals dealing with kindness toward others with legalistic rules--especially in the ways of sexuality to cause extreme repression and self-loathing.

If I were Satan I'd re-purpose holidays to be about the life and death of past individuals rather than about joy in life, gratitude toward the living, and freedom to promote equality of all mankind.

I'd make the messages of holidays exclusive to the people of one particular faith and paste it all around to entice ill feelings and further division.

If I were the devil, I'd take from those who need the most and give it to religious leaders doing well in their sales of faith while promoting a sense of entitlement for their fruitless giving.

Then I would separate families, putting religious beliefs of entitlement or the work of their false God before children and spouses.

Lastly, if I were the devil, I'd make YouTube videos and other memes uplifting all the aforementioned things in hopes they go viral, spread my message, reduce thinking, and encourage mindless agreement.

In short, if I were Satan, I'd just keep doing what I'm doing and watch the people fight and destroy themselves. They'll never stop to recognize that all men were created equal and deserve kindness.

*Quotes and modifications of quotes from original text of Paul Harvey 1964.