Mrs. Smith

April 1, 2019

Reading logs will be collected today and we will check in with each other regarding our Slice of Life Challenge. It is April Fool's Day - a day of fun, foolishness and frivolity. This day is for the young at heart. I think for a moment of the years when the children would tape down the water dispenser and wait for Peter to turn on the faucet and get completely soaked. The new sink and the new faucet don't lend itself to that. There are no children here this April Fool's morning. Somewhere a mother or father is playing along giving their children the delight of having pranked a parent.

March 31, 2019

We made it through the longest stretch. April is right around the corner. The snow is melting. One of our trees has begun to bud again. The warmer temps beckon you outdoors for a walk or even a stroll around the yard looking for greenery. You begin to think of the days ahead with hope.

March 30, 2019

This morning I woke up and thought for a moment about a luxurious Saturday with an empty day ahead. I thought about reading the papers, finishing the book I've been reading, writing and then it hit me - I never wrote yesterday. My streak was broken. Sure, I'd typed emails and done a few other things that required writing but no I had not written for the Slice. As quickly as I realized it, I let it go. Yesterday I made the conscious and yet subconscious decision not to write. When I arrived home after school, a spin class that followed and an outing with a friend (Ms. Penny) - I decided not to get out my laptop for the evening. My husband had prepared dinner and the Celtics were playing . Opening up my laptop would lead to detaching from the conversations we were having. I decided to not unpack it, watch the game and talk.

The talk led to a great decision to extend our trip out west this summer for Rosie's wedding (my niece) and to enjoy the Rocky Mountains and enjoy the opportunity to see Stevie Wonder at Red Rocks Amphitheater, both which have been on my bucket list. I thought perhaps I'd see something at Red Rocks one day - and Stevie has long been on my list but to combine them both - JACKPOT!

So all in all, decision to not open laptop led to me not posting yesterday. Decision to not open laptop led to Pete and I discussing trip out west and enjoying the plan to extend the trip. Decision to not open laptop led to listening to more Stevie and less noise in our lives - we should save the $ and plan for (insert anything here). Enjoy life now I think. I am dreaming of tomorrow, as Stevie sings in one of my favorite songs from perhaps one of the best albums of all time Songs in the Key of Life

Ngiculela - Es Una Historia - I Am Singing

There's songs to make you smile

There's songs to make you sad

But with an happy song to sing

It never seems so bad

To me came this melody

So I've tried to put in words how I feel

Tomorrow will be for you and me

I am singing of tomorrow

I am singing of love

I am singing someday love will reign

Throughout this world of ours

I am singing of love from my heart

Let's all sing someday sweet love will reign

Throughout this world of ours

Let's start singing

Of love from our hearts

Let's start singing

Of love from our hearts

March 28, 2019

I'm watching the final game of our March Madness challenge. Our team the Volunteers look like they are out. I quickly look up who the Purdue Boilermakers are and what they represent. I can get behind them as winners. And the final is .....our team does not advance. Purdue does for the first time in 18 years. Happy for them. I'm sad for the teams that do no advance. Competition is hard and yet I want to scream to these fans, players, parents and announcers...this is nothing. It's a game!!!!!! Nothing will ever compare to the true losses that will come or the real wins...the real wins would be a full essay - the loyalty of true friends - that's a win - the love of a partner - true win. There are so many true wins. On the flip side there are true losses. The loss of a family member, discovering a false friend...those make a basketball game seem silly.

Thoughts on this evening about March Madness.

March 27 2019

CLUBSMITH ROCKS!

It was a great day, a great night and one when I really discovered how much I love Miss Penny as my colleague. We were thrown together, two women of a certain age, with a group of students to teach and we didn't know each other in the slightest.

For a while now and for the full day, everyday, we have worked beside each other as we figured out how to best make ClubSmith the best place for learning everyday.

Tonight, Miss Penny, was there beside me every step of the way as a co-teacher. And she should have gotten a standing ovation ! She is such a big part of the success of ClubSmith and I will hopefully be able to thank her formally at another time.

We shared a pizza before the big night and talked about all our students - truly we love them like our own children.

I will end tonight's post with a shout out to all of the kids in ClubSmith - those who could attend and those who couldn't. Your posters and your collaboration in getting our essay written, our petition signed and our idea presented to the school board, I hope did the hard work that is required to make change.

You have the ability to change the world. I am so glad to be in your presence everydya.

March 26, 2019

Today we talked the idea of inclusion and why every student in the room has something to add to make our discussions and learning deeper. We learn from those who think differently from us and we learn from hearing others ideas.

As we embark on our new unit of poetry, we decided to tackle the structure of a cinquain (5 lines of poetry) with a specific syllable count. It's tough stuff.

Yesterday we began our day with the lyrics to the often covered song, You've Got a Friend written by Carole King. Some people mistakenly think James Taylor wrote it because his version is so often heard on radio and in movies. After listening we sat down to the task of writing about friendship and there were some struggles. What to write about that topic. Some students dove right in with rhyming verses. Others wrote free verse poems with elements like the repeating line. Some stared at the paper and I knew that they could benefit from a simple organizer that might help them. Today, I brought in the pattern for a five line cinquain with a two syllable, four syllable, six syllable, eight syllable, two syllable pattern. We worked on one together as a whole group.

I have the joy of watching this group of students embrace all, learn from all and become a learning environment that can change the world. Tomorrow we will attend the school board meeting to talk about what we've learned about the 1st Amendment, Persuasive Essays and most importantly we will show them what a true learning community is.

I'm so proud of this group. What a gift it is to be part of the club.

March 25, 2019

Wow, we are 25 days in....committing to a habit is hard. Tonight, I wanted to just turn off the light and call it a Monday...but it doesn't work that way. It's like making your bed. You know you should do it but sometimes you just don't feel like it.

Tonight, I had the pleasure of grilled steak and a delicious summer like meal. Peter grilled and it felt like the days of fresh food and light are coming. The sun was still high at 7:00 and if the temps were warmer, we could of gone for a walk before dinner.

On my way out of school, I saw three ball players on the field and thought, yes, that is a beautiful sign of what is coming. Soon I will hear the families as they gather to watch practice and games on the field as I plan for the following day in my classroom. Such is the way things change during the seasons. In winter by 4pm, I can see it's getting dark and I think it's time to head home. In the spring, the days seem longer - more can be done.

Tonight, I will think of spring and my favorite activities: cutting forsythia, mulching my garden, planning my annuals as I look for my perennials to come back to life, running and walking outdoors, beach walks and driving with the windows down. Of course the food of spring comes to mind: asparagus, rhubarb and strawberries. Spring: lighter clothes, maybe sandals, flowers in church and Easter bonnets. We are right on the verge of this beautiful time where life comes back into living color. We are witnessing the arrival of the first color tv - it will be something else.

March 24, 2019

No way to upload photos - definitely will be looking into that for next years slice.

Great day...half marathon with my son - I ran to the Hamilton soundtrack only - on an old ipod mini - that can only shuffle but the songs seemed to come on just at the right time for what I needed.

I listened with pride to these lyrics as I watched Kevin run ahead of me

What a way to celebrate his birthday. I am blessed.

March 23, 2019

Reading the papers, looking up recipes, planning my lists for grocery, birthday and baby shower shopping and another day of unscheduled fun is my idea of a perfect Saturday. The only thing that is time dependent is the walk on the beach at low tide. I'm heading out shortly and the sun is shining - is it possible we might really get a taste of spring here in the state of Maine?

As I look out my window the snow on the deck negates my positive thinking but I won't let that get in my way of getting excited for spring cleaning, thinking about the good six months in Maine and planning for a fantastic summer.

When the sun is shining it lightens my mood. As I loaded the washing machine this morning with the collection of blacks and grey colored clothing from the week, I thought about the sad way we dress all winter in New England, black, grey and perhaps brown, mostly our clothes reflect the winter sky and the collective mood of dealing with the harsh winter we endure here.

I wonder if summer would be as welcomed when one doesn't have to deal with ice, shoveling, warming the car, looking for mittens, stockpiling Chapstick and the various other nuisances of winter. Is there a similar list of nuisances when one deals in constant heat? I would believe that to be true. Cooling off the car, stockpiling sunscreen, parking in the shade might be among the list. But with that list would also be: sprucing up the colorful wardrobe, finding new flip flops, cutting fresh flowers and eating garden fresh foods - year round. At this point that sounds very welcome.

In the southern states, I remember the azaleas blooming in late March and April and that it brought out the best in everyone. We have to wait much longer for that gift. If we are lucky we see the yellow of azaleas in May. And so as I type this with my feet warmly in my Ugg slippers ( a gift from my son Dave that I would never had bought myself) I'm thinking I feel a chill and decide it's time to go in search of a scarf to throw around my neck. I dressed lightly this morning (meaning only one layer) thinking that the sun that was shining dictated a call to lightening things up. The sun in Maine is deceiving.

After typing that line I left mid post to go find the beautiful cashmere sweater my daughter, Colleen gave me for Xmas and a scarf that Pete gave me for my birthday. I am warmer now and as I look up at the beautiful seascapes that line my walls, I see that while the temperatures outdoors do not reflect the spring that began on Wednesday, my home and my spirit does. I think of the beautiful writing of Albert Camus:

“My dear,

In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.

In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.

In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.

I realized, through it all, that…

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

Truly yours,

Albert Camus”

March 22, 2019

FriYaY has all new meaning today: a day off of work, a day to have some spontaneous fun with a friend and I picked up my bib number and my Eastern State gear for my run on Sunday with my son, Kevin. All during what would normally be a work day. Woo hoo - may this be part of the school calendar for ever!

March 21, 2019

This is my latest (meaning the latest in the day - I remembered I didn't write yet) entry yet. It could have slipped by: I had parent/student conferences, I had to work on report cards, I had a few emails to reply to, I have a course I need where I have to read and write responses by a deadline of today , I had meetings and I had classes to teach. Wow, that was a busy day. But just now, I remembered, I hadn't followed through on my commitment to write every day.

And what now....Ha ha ha remember my Chuck it list from March 8th...guess what is on while I'm doing typing and Peter (Mr. Smith ) and I have the tv on?

Jason Bourne, the original...he's watching it again...oh my.... well as I've said to numerous students each time we reread a really good book, we are reading it with older, more mature eyes.

I'm exhausted...not brimming with new ideas and right now I can think of lots of snarky ideas...negative thinking happens when I'm tired.

I will end with my parent conference both at home and school were amazing. I learned so much and in the end I learn more and more everyday that I teach. The teacher really is the student.

March 20, 2019

It hits you out of nowhere. You can be doing something simple like watching a video about the happiest country in the world (Finland). You begin to wonder about the land where it is daylight until very late at night in the middle of summer. You remember your father once planning for an extended business trip there. Did he have a trial there? Was the country Norway? It was definitely somewhere in Scandinavia. You think, I'll ask him and realize in an instant that question won't get answered. You sit with that understanding.

Today is the first official day of Spring and what the UN has declared The International Day of Happiness. You think about that. Lately you've been trying to recapture happiness; your own childhood, most of which is remembered via family photos. You realize your children are grown and you ache for a day again with them at ten or seven or as a toddler. You think of all the things you would do again or the things you would do differently. You realize in an instant that won't happen. You sit with that understanding.

You glance at the ten and eleven year olds in the classroom. Happiness lives in your classroom. And while you may have some sufferings that you will carry with you for a lifetime, you know that everyday you have the opportunity to create happiness for these children.

You decide during the time they are at gym that upon their return you will be certain to mention that spring begins at 5:58 and that today is International Happiness Day. You decide to watch Pharrell sing his song, Happy. For a moment, it makes you happy too.

March 19, 2019

Cultivating a habit is hard work. It's much like weeding a garden - it requires repeated commitment to seeing the job done over and over again. One of the struggles of the daily writing habit is the repeated return to the blank page. What will I fill it with today? Thoughts about writing? the world? some ridiculous observation?

Last evening as I finished my reading - another commitment (two hours a day) I thought about writing and I thought about my parents and how much I missed them. I wondered if I had it in me to write about them for this blog of sorts. This morning I'm not so sure. Writing something so emotional can be exhausting and with a full day ahead of me, I'm not sure I'm ready to go there.

My mom died several years ago. My father was very much alive this time last year and I had tremendous hopes that he would be dancing with us at my niece Rosie's wedding this June. I've heard it said, "You make plans and God laughs." i think the meaning of this is not to suggest God is a cruel menacing bully but that we think we are in control and life has other plans that we cannot see and perhaps are not meant to see until we are full present in the now. We tend to spend an awful lot of time on the future.

Last year, I did not waste one minute of time with my Dad. When he got ill, I forgot all about the perfect attendance award for employees and I followed my heart. I used every family sick day I had. I was with him at his moment of death and was thankful that my mother had taught me the art of nursing the sick. I took every bereavement day to plan his funeral and attend his burial. I spoke at his funeral and read a poem I wrote. I can't find the introduction to the poem in my files right now - I've put the printed copy in my box of 'Dad things' that I can't bring myself to look at just yet. The introduction spoke to a poorly written poem I gave him one Christmas that he kept on his dresser for 45 years. That was my Dad. I found a lot of things that he kept in his dresser - small souvenirs or memorabilia that he valued. Some worthless or priceless depending on your viewpoint due to the sentiment he attached to the trinket. So this morning, I remember my Dad in a poem that I wrote last June. In time,

For Ritual

For Ritual

recording births

on a dedicated page

returning to that page

years later

for ritual

inscribing

the gift

with the date

Marking

a commitment to faith

I discover

The Bibles

In respect

In reverence

In ritual

Given to a loved one

Before she crossed the sea

Given to a loved one

In marriage

Given to a loved one

For Christmas

Given to a loved one

For Holy Communion

For ritual

Birth

A celebration of new life

Death

A celebration of

A life well lived

As our loved ones

Move from

Present to past

For remembrance

Our hands hold the past

In ritual

We whisper the hymns

sung by elders

In ritual

we remember

Coffee for morning

Prepared the night before

Early rising

In silence

Often in dark

For work

Once tilling the land

Later

Tilling the soil of

Of the Intellect

For thinking

Justice and truth

And the courage

To speak it

For commitment

Through action and deed

For reverence

Of country and creed

For silence

When words need

Not be spoken

For listening

With patience and grace

To those in their youth

For reading

When the day is done

A sweater and slippers

Comforts of home

For wondering

And wandering

Discovering,

And uncovering

The world

For revelry and revenant

Music and laughter

And love

In ritual

We listen

And learn

We think

And reflect

Upon the wisdom

Of elders

Who cared for this land

And for our souls

Before taking

Our first breath

In ritual

We gather

With those we love

And we remember

In ritual

March 18, 2019

Parabolic was the word of the day today - something I usually check in my email inbox and often don't open if I have a good idea of the definition. Not thinking deeply about the word, I quickly glanced at the definition and thought that makes sense, having to do with a parable or an allegory.

I think that growing up, I listened to my first parables in church and then most likely I also heard read alouds in school that were designed to teach a lesson. Aesop's Fables were allegories ( according to a google search) The Tortoise and The Hare is an example.

As I read stories aloud to my students, I'm often interested in the author's underlying meaning. I haven't read a lot of short stories but think that I might want to consider some for our next read aloud. Currently, we are two thirds of the way through Echo, a book I'm rereading for the second time. There is much to learn in this historical fiction book and as I also teach children a timeline of major historical world events, I am happy that Pam Munoz Ryan took the time to write such a genre bending book. The book begins with a prophecy and it holds the elements of fantasy ( a witch and a magical spell). As we dive into the last of the three stories that will all come together in the end, I think the children are enjoying this unit of study.

March 17, 2019

It's 11:02 and I've spent a good portion of the morning doing exactly what I wanted - reading the Sunday paper. I've got a list of to do's today having spent yesterday doing fun things: lunch in Exeter, NH, making a new recipe for a party I was attending and singing Irish songs at the gathering later in the evening. I woke this morning thinking I never got back to my post from yesterday - the day got away from me and yet I feel like I spent the day exactly how I wanted.

The weekend is never long enough. The list of to do's including 'wants' and 'wishes' along with 'musts'. I'm deciding I must enjoy the most of every minute of this day, St. Patrick's Day.

This is the first St. Patrick's without either of my parents. I think of my father and realized I'm wearing his gray Irish knit sweater as I type this. I gave it to him one Christmas.

I read this poem today

Fathers and Sons

by David Mason

Some things, they say,

one should not write about. I tried

to help my father comprehend

the toilet, how one needs

to undo one's belt, to slide

one's trousers down and sit,

but he stubbornly stood

and would not bend his knees.

I tried again

to bend him toward the seat,

and then I laughed

at the absurdity. Fathers and sons.

How he had wiped my bottom

half a century ago, and how

I would repay the favor

if he would only sit.

Don’t you-

he gripped me, trembling, searching for my eyes.

Don’t you––but the word

was lost to him. Somewhere

a man of dignity would not be laughed at.

He could not see

it was the crazy dance

that made me laugh,

trying to make him sit

when he wanted to stand.

“Fathers and Sons” by David Mason from The Sound: New & Selected Poems. © Red Hen Press, 2018

It made me think about the way our parents take care of us and then we return the gift. My Dad and I were lucky during his end of life. He was able to understand and celebrate the life he led. I was with him at the end. Having moved a bed into the room so I could be beside him. I opened a window that night (early the next morning really) and said some prayers to those I believe guide us to our next chapter. I told Dad to take flight or if someone was out there to come and get him. He was ready for his next chapter. I played wave sounds as the oxygen machine kept a steady beat that kept time with his labored breathing. I put a cool cloth on his head as he lay there waiting to take flight. So much of his last days were about comfort. The warmth of a blanket, the coolness of a cloth or the feel of lotion on his feet which we rubbed to ease the discomfort.

And today as I sit here in comfort wearing his sweater, I think of the many gifts my father gave me. My mother too. Words are not enough.

March 16, 2019

Because I said I would....more to follow

March 15, 2019

It was just this year that I learned (or remembered what this day was about). I've often heard of the Ides of March. The date smack in the middle of the month, I guess at noon precisely. However, it was on February break that I revisited a timeline of ancient Rome, that I realized it's historical significance. On the 15th of March, Caesar, the ruler of Rome was assassinated.

It's too early for my morning email from the Writer's Almanac so I looked it up. Here is what it says:

In Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, the soothsayer was referring to today when she said, “Beware the Ides of March.” The word “Ides” was just a shorthand way of saying “15th,” at least in March.

And it was on this day, the Ides of March in 44 B.C., that Caesar was assassinated by a group of about 60 conspirators who called themselves “the liberators.” They wanted to return Rome to a model republic, and they were unhappy with how Caesar had consolidated power in his name, and that he encouraged people to consider him divine. (The Writer's Almanac, 2019).

I looked this up when I was reading the Bronze Bow as it was set about 32 A.D. or seventy six years after Caesar died. Understanding history by using a timeline is really important as certain events have an impact upon others. There is an old saying "If you want to predict the future look at the past" and I wonder if I should put that out to the class today to comment upon. What does that even mean? Perhaps we could think on that for a bit.

It's halfway through women's herstory month and I haven't given it enough time so I will definitely return to a poem by a woman to start our day today. I'm going to go through my archives now to see what I've got (I'm think something by Lori McKenna might be nice). And we should take a look at Charlotte's poem as well.

And so on the 15th of March - I should cut this short as I have outside duty this morning and lots to do to prepare us for the day.

FriYaY - here we go.

March 14, 2019

This marks my seventh year of home visits, an incredible journey of connection between home and school. Every year as I drive around the city I learn more and more about Saco, it's neighborhoods, the vast amount of land it covers and most importantly I learn more about the families in the community.

Yesterday as I videotaped home interviews, I connected with parents and students in a deeper more meaningful way. Listening to a parent reference Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements and another talk about the motto, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take" helped me understand more about the qualities of character they are hoping to develop in their children.

As I get the unique opportunity to video tape these interviews, I also get to see the genuine connections between parent and child. It is an honor to witness children listen intently to a parent/grandparent as they tell them about a family story or a life less that they've learned.

There are always moments of humor in these home visits. Once a few years back it was when I finicky, overgrown, incredibly furry cat got too close to a candle. As the smell of burnt cat hair filled the air before one of the children yelled, "the cat's on fire" I thought perhaps I should say something. Being a guest I was reluctant. I can report out that the cat was not harmed and shortly after we saw the singed hair, the cat left the room quite embarrassed. Yesterday there was a background scream from a brother playing a video game which was quickly quieted by the twin brother interviewing his mother. As now quiet sound of the house permitted the interview to continue without blood curdling screams, I noticed the gentle sound of the family corgi snoring during the interview. I can't wait to see the video footage.

All of this gives me pause as I think about the recent news of parents found to be bribing schools to admit their children. What if rather than measure a student's aptitude for college by test scores and lists of sports they participated in, we measured students by their ability to interpret a favorite family book. For example, the four agreements are:

• Be impeccable with your word
• Don't take anything personal
• Always do your best
• Don't make assumptions

Reading a student essay on those four qualities and how they apply to life, in my estimation, would reveal college readiness.

As I look back on this list now, I realize the second parent interview also revealed a belief in not making assumptions. These commonalities regarding qualities of character we want to see in the leaders of tomorrow give me hope.

Now if we could only find a way to measure these qualities in our students and send them forth to change the world as they head off to college.

I will close with a favorite quote, "Go forth and set the world on fire". It is my hope that this group of ClubSmith students do just that.

March 13, 2019

"I'm late I'm late for a very important date no time to say hello goodbye I'm late I'm late I'm late" Was that the white rabbit? I'm not sure but it is a line from Through the Looking Glass, Alice in Wonderland.

Today I'm feeling late - darn it all - so it's time to reframe that as a hectic runaround in the morning sure can lead to all sorts of crazy throughout the day. So I'm going to take a pause and do some breathing, some mediating and then I'm going to enjoy the day.

I've got three home visits this afternoon. I'm excited for that as I love home visits! Students will be interviewing family members about their family history. I will also be able to chat with parents about the transition to middle school - ClubSmith kids are ready!

Today I will submit a grant proposal that I've been working on for a long time - that's great too. I have a lot to be grateful for - families inviting me into their homes, opportunities to apply for funding to improve education for children.

And lest (oh wait what's that word) I forget, last night I got to watch an incredible film at Thornton Academy. My classmates, Sami and Brennen , were both there and so was their mothers. Mr. Smith went and was as moved by the film as I was.

I will be writing to Sami's mother to see if we can obtain the permission to show it at CK Burns School. It's that good - Mr. Smith's review, "Every teacher in training should see that film."

I agree.

It's 6:23 - where did the morning go. I still want that hour back that I lost this weekend. Not going to happen so it's time to put the headphones on and meditate to some beautiful music before the day really begins.

TTFN (another quote from a book) The Adventures of Christopher Robin. This one I believe is also a rabbit quote. No that's wrong I think it's Tigger. A quick google says its origin (beginning came from differently WW 2 - I just keep learning) I guess the author of the book borrowed it.

TTFN

March 12, 2019

Today's post is about serendipitous things that happen. Things that happen out of coincidence that seem to have more to them than randomness and to have a benefit or happy outcome. Sunday - favorite paper reading day of the week. I stumbled across an article by Marianne Leone. As I read her beautiful essay about marriage, I remembered reading more about her in previous readings. A google search took me back to what I'd learned about them as parents. I passed it on to a parent and then came to learn that this actor and husband that Marianne Leone wrote about is the narrator and is also interviewed in a film showing tonight at Thornton Academy. What? Mind blown? Serendipitous , I think so. I never would have known about this film being shown unless I had taken the time to write to the parent and the parent took the time to write back to me.

Tonight I will take my husband to the film. I guess it will resonate for two reasons, one as in the original article that led me to the film, Marianne writes that her husbands best gift to her was laughter and two my life work in education is something I want to share with him.

Peter has also given me the gift of laughter. Lots of it. He has also supported my teaching throughout my career. Often that means listening to stories, hearing about children he will never meet, watching me give up weekends to do planning or report cards or getting up at a ridiculously early hour to load the car with apples or books or something that I've decided I need to bring in for the day of learning. He's funded more than one of my projects when I wanted to pilot a program and would not rest until I could see it through. He's provided snacks for children who can't otherwise have something healthy to eat mid day. Since my first jump into education when we were dating and we spent weekends making lesson plans (before the internet and Teachers Pay Teachers), Peter has supported my efforts to bring the best possible lessons to my students. I'm sure he can still remember the unit we designed on the county of Spain for a 6th grade class in Leominster, Massachusetts.

At 5:59 this a.m. I look at my post and think that's it for today. I think of the line of poetry, "and miles to go before I sleep" and decide that is all for me today. I've got two things to print before the children arrive (specific incentive programs for kiddos), lyrics to find for the poem of the day, a math lesson to review, a grant application to finish which is due tomorrow and who knows what else is on my table in our classroom. What I do know is that when I'm hitting snooze and wishing I had a few more minutes, the thought of specific students and how I can help them is what gets me stoked for the day ahead. I spring out of bed, thinking I can make a difference. And that is enough.

March 11, 2019

hmmmm today begins with an hour less sleep which didn't bother me at all yesterday but on a Monday (Monday like March has a bad reputation). I look at the clock and it's 5:07 and yet a few days ago, I know this was considered 4:07 a.m. - Time change it's always struck me as odd - if we can just change time on the clock to suit our purposes can't we change a few other things too - things that would really make a difference.

Here are my ideas and some that my husband has floated for awhile as well

9 day week (three day weekends for all) and a six day work week - job sharing no problem at all - even steven.

Set us all back a month - right now it feels like February not March then when March came it would seem a little more like spring and April well here in Maine we'd have leaves on trees and May would be lovely. No school until what is now September (and a glorious month) was over and we would actually be returning to school in the month of October.

School - run it 9-5 like all other businesses - parents would like it - teachers could actually do things in the morning and the school day being longer would include time for teachers to work during the school day NOT on their own time.

Cell Phones what if we disabled them so that they couldn't work in a vehicle ever. Only emergency people could have pagers like they used to ...while we are at it - they could only work in private. No one would ever have to listen again to anyone talking on a bus, in a grocery store or walking down a beach

That is all the time I have for my ideas this morning as I'm short on time- I want that hour back

March 10, 2019

The day started like any other day with four young children. Peter and I woke a few minutes before they did to try and grab a few minutes alone before the chaos of the morning routine. The snowstorm of the previous day left the small town of Kennebunk covered in white. Over morning coffee, we talked about the weeks ahead and the plans we had been making for the baby's arrival. Peter was home from DC where he worked Monday through Friday and had plans to work from a base in Maine until after the baby. We were thinking about getting some help in the form of a mother's helper perhaps through the hiring of an au pair (a French concept, when you hire a person to live in your home to become part of your family while taking shared responsibility for childcare and other things. The lure is to get to experience living in U.S. for a year). We had a few more weeks to think about it all. In the meantime, we had been in touch with Ethelyne, our best friend in Mobile, Alabama who helped us raise our children there. She'd visited us twice since we moved and fell in love with Kennebunk just as Kennebunk fell in love with her. We had hopes she would come north for an extended stay. Ethelyne was trying to work out all the details.

Details of the everyday escape me now, but I am sure the morning progressed like most. Children in pj's coming down to the kitchen for breakfast. Eggo waffles were a staple in the house back then and I'm guessing we also had choices of cereal, fruit, juice and being a Sunday, I may have made a quiche. Colleen, Danny and Pete may have gone to mass. We'd long given up trying to take the entire crew given their ages and attention span.

Later that morning, Stephanie called. Stephanie and I had become fast friends upon my move to Kennebunk. I can still remember the first time I saw her. She was walking across the field with a baby in her arms to the Park and Recreation building where the town pre-school program was held. With her black hair and dark eyes and quick stride, I noticed a strikingly beautiful woman of what appeared to be Native American descent. She commanded a second look or as in my case a long first look. She was dressed casually with a style of her own that worked effortlessly , I was immediately jealous. I watched her breeze into the building, take her child by the hand while holding the other in her arms. Quickly, she departed and I assumed she was headed back to her home. As I gathered my children and took the path to my house on the other side of field, I remember wondering who she was and immediately felt I wanted to get to know her. She looked so confident, bohemian in some respects and very focused and determined based on her movements. As I watched her walk away, I hoped I might find a friend here in this new neighborhood of Kennebunk which already felt like home in a way that the deep south never did.

Mobile had been lonely for me. I had not made friends with the corporate wives who were older than me and not in the baby-raising years of their lives. And while Ethelyne was a blessing and somewhat of a savior (although she wouldn't like that term) - she was. Ethelyne, was my southern mother, my own mother having retired to the islands with my father. Ethelyne became a mentor and friend to me, however, I was hungry for a friendship with a kindred spirit, a sister experiencing similar pangs for creativity and independence while also doing this thing called young motherhood.

For years, Stephanie and I would meet in this field or at the playground adjacent, as we raised our children in this community. Stephanie, I would learn, shared similar tastes in music and literature, grew up in upstate New York like I did and we both enjoyed a good story. Stephanie could tell a fabulous story. I have no idea how many hours we spent as stay at home moms, with our children playing beside us as we traded stories, talked about our hopes and dreams for ourselves and our children. We also talked current events - anything at all really - that engaged our intellect (we were obsessed with the many aspects of The OJ trial). When I think of raising my children or look back now at the birth of my youngest child, Stephanie is there, part of it all.

Little did I know then, that we were at the beginning of a friendship that would endure many heartbreaks and happinesses. Little did I know then, I would share life and death moments with her. Little did I know then, we would witness our children marry and that we would help each other as we dealt with the pain and grief that neither of us knew we would or could endure. Twenty five years later, I know that if I picked up the phone and needed her to bear witness to my incredibly wonderful news or painful suffering she'd be here as fast as she could drive. I chuckle writing this as Stephanie's never been one to let a speed limit sign get in her way of getting things done so she'd be here before I could finish making a cup of tea or coffee or drive to our favorite spot to meet her where we could walk and talk on the beach, safely away from all others.

********************

(I thought I'd be writing about the details of David's birth here but often the writing directs you instead of you directing it. Today it directed me into the details and the beauty of my friendship with Stephanie). The writing about this friendship will continue in another space in more detail on another day.

Here is the rest of the David birth condensed story (Reader's Digest version, for those of you that remember that publication).

• Stephanie got me to take a long walk through drifts of snow on the beach.
• I went into labor later that afternoon.
• A couple of the kids went to Stephanie's while we waited for Pete's parents to drive up to care for them in our absence.
• We headed off to the hospital.
• Stephanie's husband, Tom, my obstetrician, would deliver our son, David, later that evening.
• Stephanie, a gifted nurse, would be one of the first to visit me the next day and to hold David in her arms.
• Stephanie would hold me in her arms in the days ahead during his health crisis, one that threatened his life.

On this 23rd year of his being here on Earth, I thank her for her friendship, love and never ending care.

March 9, 2019

Favs (based on all of our tributes to Sound of Music initiated by Ms. Penny)

Saturdays

reading the newspapers on the weekend

the memory of my father

hand written notes

dark chocolate

a good tear jerker movie

a perfectly brewed latte with foam

my children's laughter

seeing a text from a bestie (just seeing their name makes me smile)

Heart of Life lyrics/John Mayer

baking for someone I love

knowing what fun my students had snow tubing (without me)

a photograph of my family (when I was 6) from the house in Belleville, Illinois

yellowed letters in my keeper box

a great cartoon

Whitney's version of the National Anthem

a scarf around my neck

Ireland

a chair on a beach on a sunny day

Diondre Cole

ugg slippers

my mother's meatball recipe

a good playlist

a vacation walk/hike with Peter

a newborn in my arms

and with that I will stop, a newborn in my arms would have to top the list if I put the list in order. I can remember the birth of each of my children with such detail and love that it can make me weep from the beauty of it all. Peter and I were always in such awe of the process and the love we felt for each other and the new life we'd created . Even typing this I can feel the warmth in the room when we hold the precious newborn in our arms. My memory is backlit as if all in the frame are glowing under a golden sunset. I should have included the perfect sunset in my list - the kind that turns the water silver and lights the entire area in a surreal glow.

On the birthdays of my children when I wake, I spend the morning trying to relive every single second that I can remember of the day they were born. Tomorrow will be David's 23rd birthday. What a treat is in store for me as a recall the details. I remember that 23 years ago today, there was a snowstorm and several inches fell. I was fully pregnant but three weeks from David's expected arrival. The entire house was ready to welcome our first Maine baby. Our home was filled with four children who couldn't wait to find out if they were going to have a little brother or sister. But like 23 years ago the story has another 24 hours until it begins.

March 8, 2019

A chuck it list

Bucket lists as we know are for things we are really excited about doing. My bucket list is full - travel is top of the list but there are lots of other fun things that are on the list as well.

My chuck it list is full full things I've decided I'm not ever going to do again or ever - I can cross them off the list as I've decided - NOPE not doing it.

Putting IKEA furniture together - nej aldrig igen

Soduku - Magic Eye Puzzles - riddles that take longer than five seconds to solve

Ever checking a facebook/instagram status social media is so 2000 and late (IMHO) Someone's curated photos of a fake life is so uninteresting to me.

Helping a friend/child move furniture - not happening ever again. I'm done with that too. I will box all that anyone needs help with but no more lifting.

Hiking a tall mountain peak - Everest - absolutely not - I like oxygen where and when I participate in strenuous exercise

Watching another Jason Bourne film - by my observations, a Bourne film is on at 24 hours a day on some cable station. Inevitably when channel surfing, my husband can land on one, within seconds the scenes are always the same, watch Jason run from a back view, watch Jason's car get chased, cut to a room full of investigators trying to find him, back to Jason running/jumping/fleeing/ - cut to me walking out of the room

Snowsports - over all set, I'm done - get me to a beach or if it's cold I will find a movie, library or indoor gym for movement

Swimming in water colder than 70 degrees I prefer 80 but think that would be snobbish

Eat any food with a casing around it I will not ever eat a sausage, hot dog or meat covered in what I believe is a thin layer of intestine

That's all my frivolous thinking for the morning. One day I may be able to chuck slippers and scarves as part of my morning routine but not now. I do like the coziness of writing with a blanket over my lap and a cuppa next to me. The first light is almost ready to peek through and a sunrise is one of my most favorite things.

To follow up on the post from last week - re: Ms. Penny and the list that others have started - I will post tomorrow my favorite things. Since today in jest - I wrote about my least favorite things that I can chuck to balance things out and show the world I'm not a negative Nancy - tomorrow I will be Nancy Nice! I will talk about my favorite, wonderful, super delightful things that I enjoy.

March 7, 2019

Yesterday I said I was going to write about people that shaped me as a teacher. I began (you can see the draft below) but decided to ditch for something more funny.

Today we are going snow tubing. A quick glance at my phone to see the temperatures say it's 2 degrees in Kennebunkport. With nervousness I check the temp in Windham it's minus 3. Seriously......My dad, before he died last year, had a great thought about weather and getting old. He said any temperature below your age is too cold. So my students will not have it too bad today with temps in the 10's and 11's but me....I'm 61 and that temperature seems just about perfect on a day like today. With lots of fun I present ...

Things I'd rather be doing than snow tubing today

Getting my annual check up at the dentist. I've had a pesky little tooth issue and I'm behind - I'd gladly take time today in the office.

Organizing paperwork -I have a pile of papers on my desk, I'd really love to go through - of course given a sunny day or a great movie or book that pile of papers can wait.

Update my computer. I promise I won't hit 'remind me later' I will do it today!

Clean out my download files, my inbox, my google drive. Perhaps in the warmth of the lodge, I will do just that (note to self bring my charger to the trip)

I would organize my closet and get rid of all the clothes I don't wear. I would donate them all.

I've been meaning to clean out a closet in one of the children's rooms that seems to hold all the things my adult children didn't want to take with them when they moved out. Today I'd do it and again I'd donate the items to pay them forward.

I could do soooooo many great things today.

But today as everyday I'm a teacher so I will put on a happy face and make it a day of learning. We can learn that we can have fun it God awful temperatures. We can learn that we can help those who have never gone snow tubing have fun. We can learn to have fun being in the lodge just chatting with our classmates. I'm going to suggest students pack a book to read and I will pack one too.

(What I decided not to continue writing is below - I bailed after writing about my family and I just wasn't into looking up the names of great professors I had in college, people I remember well but whose names have left my memory. So I decided to write about what was really on my mind - my dread about being in the cold)

Being a teacher is a professional that once was reserved for men (think way, way, way back - Confucius, Socrates, Plato, those guys). As we are celebrating Women's history (and even that word is a bit interesting his-story) I don't know if in other languages the word mean's a story from his perspective but that's not really what I'm writing about. I'm talking about mystory - herstory. Who shaped me as a teacher - personally.

My mother - top of the list - best teacher ever although she was a nurse by profession. She stayed home with us before returning to teaching when we were in high school. She taught us everyday. She was incredibly funny, intelligent and curious and boy did she have opinions and she wasn't afraid to share them.

My Aunt/My Older Sister - became teachers and I looked up to them. My Aunt Jane was a cooler version of my mother. She taught school while she raised children I thought that was very cool. She was stylish and witty and very progressive. She was liberal while my mother was very conservative.

My sister, Donna, became our teacher growing up because of her role as the oldest of five children. I learned a lot from her. She too was curious and unafraid. She participated in science fairs and won. She joined in a new school and became a leader. She tried out for plays and got parts. I can still remember her in Peter Pan and watching her among the Lost Boys. I was amazed by her confidence and while she was underwhelmed with her little sister who borrowed clothes without permission and did a million other things to annoy her, I remember admiring her spirit and learned a lot from her.

March 6, 2019

It's women's history month. I haven't mentioned that yet in class. This week with the snow day and the snow tubing day will be a bit choppy but I hope to spend time thinking about women who have shaped our lives. Today I will write about that not only ones in my personal life but one's I've encountered in literature as well as those I learned about in history.

The first woman I believe I identified with at an early age was Joan d'Arc. Growing up Catholic, I'd learned about her during my days at school. I also of course identified with Mary and Elizabeth (my confirmation name) but Joan d'Arc was a rebel and I liked the notion of rebellious girls/women.

Later as I began diving into books, I identified with Harriet the Spy. Harriet kept a journal and naturally I began to as well. I also began to eat the same sandwich she did (tomato). Not long after reading Harriet, I also discovered Anne Frank. So strong was her influence that I signed my middle name Ann with an e for a long time wishing that Nancy Anne had just a bit of the inner strength Anne Frank did.

At the end of 5th grade, I moved from Creve Coeur, a booming suburb of St. Louis, Missouri to Auburn, New York. It was a move. I left the city who had just won a world series and move to upstate New York where they didn't even seem to follow major league sports. My mother, the woman who shaped me the most, knew I was lonely. I was sandwiched in between two brothers and my older sister was deeply into her teens and my younger sister was entering first grade. I felt like an island. My mother brought me to the library. Once a week, sometimes twice we'd go and I'd leave with stacks of books. I remember the smell of the stacks and discovering that old advice columns were collected into published books. I read volumes of letters written to Dear Abby. I couldn't get enough. Today, I'm still a sucker for an advice column. Miss Manners and Love Letters by Meredith Goldstein are part of my regular routine.

In my writing shed, I have a poster of women writers - one day I hope to read work by each of them for now among my favorites are: Mary Oliver, Maya Angelou, Margaret Atwood, Jhumpa Lahiri, Barbara Kingsolver and Kaye Gibbons and the list goes on. As I watch the sky light up (early morning writing is such a pleasure) I feel the pull of a million 'to do's' and so my slice about women will continue tomorrow. With a note about women who have shaped me as a teacher.

March 5, 2019

An entry of lists

Top 5 (fitting on March 5th I think) - I was asked to write a list of the top books that shaped me as a teacher for an application to a summer program in NYC that helps teachers learn more about the art of teaching reading. It got me thinking. Narrowing something down to the top five is always hard but I will force myself not to do six. Also this list is not in rank order. This list is subject to change after I've had more time to think.

Top 5 Books I've read that have shaped my practice as a teacher

Choice Words/Creating Cultures of Thinking/Making Thinking Visible/Mosaic of Thought/One Size Does Not Fit All

Top 5 Movies

Out of Africa/Shawshank Redemption/The Goonies/To Kill a Mockingbird/Dances with Wolves

Top 5 Albums

Hymns to the Silence by Van Morrison/Nebraska by Bruce Springsteen/Bohemian Rhapsody Soundtrack by Queen/Medusa by Annie Lennox/Hamilton Original Broadway Play Soundtrack by Original Broadway Cast

Top 5 Musicals

Phantom of the Opera/Hamilton/Peter Pan/West Side Story/Wicked

Top 5 Short Stories

The Body by Stephen King/Jhumpa Lahiri (any short story)/The Story of an Hour - Kate Chopin/The Gift of the Magi by O.Henry/The Lottery by Shirley Jackson

(time is up on this entry - my spin bike is calling me - I will get back to this entry later today.(except that I didn't) yesterday was a whirlwind....

March 4, 2019

SNOWDAY!!!!!

Oh as much as i've been bemoaning the weather since my trip to Florida, how I love a snowday! I've made it a compound word. Two words when put together take on new meaning. Cow/boy - cowboy, milk/shake - milkshake, you know a whole lot of them. But snowday, although, google (or whoever makes the little read line appear under unknown words) doesn't recognize it, we here in New England sure do, especially if your in the education field. For others in the workforce (another compound word) it's not always the case. For example, if you are working at a hospital, you are going to work today - storm or no storm. For school related fields, a snowday Is the unexpected gift that arrives at 5 a.m that comes with instructions, "Go back to sleep if you can and do the day your way, you might need to shovel, but you may just get to finish the projects you couldn't get to this weekend"

As I was typing this, we lost power but to my happiness the generator kicked in. A power outage sometimes accompanies a snow day. This can be fun if you have a back up way to light the house or to get heat. Without those two necessities, I can see where some might not find the same delight in a snowday.

Today, this first Monday of March, I have a few wonderful things on my list of to do's. One I will definitely engage in is the old "if I was in school, I'd be doing (fill in the blank right now). I first fe;l in love with that game when I was a child. I would have stayed home from school for a minor ailment (the tail end of a cold) and I'd be eating tomato soup and a grilled cheese or be under a quilt as my mother made me the center of her attention. I'd look at a clock and realize that everyone else was at school doing work. I'd draw the quilt up a little closer, snuggle in or I'd dip the sandwich into the soup and enjoy the moment.

Today I will enjoy the moment - maybe sneak in an exercise class that is only offered during school hours or I will open up my textbook for my new course and dive into the learning. Maybe I will indulge myself with during the day reading or writing for pleasure. I've got a few projects (a grant I'm applying for, an office to clean and sort) and I have a few things that are on my "because I said I would" list. I've got an extra day to do it all.

This is making me think of a news story I learned about the 4 day work week a company in New Zealand - has switched to but everyone gets paid for five days and gets a three day weekend. The quality of life and the productivity in the office improved. People who had the three day weekend spoke about being able to visit parents more and had less personal stress - think we could do that in the U.S.? I'd be interested.

I look at the clock and realized that I'd be at school right now, writing the schedule on the board or rushing to the copier or making a copy of a poem for the day or reviewing the math lessons and I draw the quilt around my ankles as I type in my living room. Maybe I will have soup and a grilled cheese today as I remember my mother. I wonder what happened to that family quilt that my father's mother made. Maybe I will write all the memories I have of my grandmother, Josie Castle, a pioneer woman who taught me how to tat (a lost art of making lace) and who turned me onto General Hospital. I've got the gift of time.

I've got the present of today, the gift of a snowday and I will be present for it.

March 3, 2019

Before I even got out of bed today, I had the luxury of finishing a book, I've been enjoying since vacation. The book, The Bronze Bow, a Newbery Medal award winner, was recommended to me by our school librarian, Mrs. Thompson. Whenever a book is suggested to me by a friend, I feel it is like a little window into that friend's soul. This book I believe spoke to what I know about Mrs. Thompson and her faith. I will look forward to discussing the book with her now that I've finished it.

At first the book was very difficult for me to read, it was based in the year 30 AD (about 1,990 years ago - rounded that would be 2,000 years ago). I had to work hard to understand the time period and I often found myself reaching for my computer so that I could look up a timeline of history, research the setting on a map and do a little reading about certain historical characters that were written into the book of fiction. This is why I love historical fiction, because I get to learn about history and also read a great story at the same time.

As our class begins reading historical fiction, I am excited because we will all have the opportunity to share what we've learned about history from our books. We will be building a timeline of history on our bulletin board. That was we will collectively be able to look at history and see the many, many stories that have unfolded over time. All of it representing our history, some local and by local I mean in our country and some of you will read books that take place across many oceans. My book took place in Jerusalem, Israel in the Middle East, a place I've never visited outside of my mind in books or via google maps.

I have the pleasure of having four new books in my 'to read' pile in my bedroom. But first today, I will have my weekly pleasure of reading the Sunday paper. What surprises will it hold for me? Will I read an article that inspires me, an opinion that makes me think, a news story about the arts that excites me or a world wide story that causes me to think deeper about our world. I will bring in the paper this week as I want to inspire our students to seek out a story that interests them. Later this week we will learn from a television reporter about find stories to write about and how to present them to an audience.

I am lucky I have the joy of reading in my life. I hope that before this year is over, I can bring that joy in some form to every student in our class.

And now my Sunday awaits me. I'm off to church, to think a bit about what I will read there, I'm off to run beside my son on a ten mile training run where I will run to music my family has submitted for our playlist and I'm off to enjoy another weekend day and the joys of no schedule before returning to the school week.

March 2, 2019

I awake without an alarm and am so happy for the gift, a simple gift of time on the weekend to do things that I get to without a schedule. What would it be like if we could gift each other the simple pleasure of time? I once read a book of essays by the writer, Ellen Goodman. It was titled A Gift of Time. I believe the book was a collection of essays and that it was either gifted to me or loaned to me by my mother in law, Ann. Thinking back now perhaps Ann was gifting me a message when she gave me the book. In the book Ellen thinks about time and the wisdom that people who've lived longer acquire and how lovely it would be to be able to explain to someone younger that what they are experiencing now is only a moment in time. If I recall correctly, Ellen writes about her daughter struggling in her college years and wishes that she could give her a gift of time in the future when she is well past all of that, when she is a mother raising a family. I wish I could find the book and reread the essay.

I glance around my home office and cannot find the book - I'm in the midst of organizing things and my office is a mess. I'm preparing for shelves to be built to house the books I treasure and have had to box things up. Although I ran out of boxes so a sofa in my office has piles of books and papers and the floor holds stacks of books. I need more boxes.

Time, it is a fleeting and something we all say we wish we had more of. We think about the future, my future shelves and my getting more boxes. We think about setting alarms (every school day morning) so we can get things done (working out, planning lessons, cleaning), we think about people we want to see, calls we want to make, letters we want to write, books we want to read and think , "when will I find the time?" I think about the many, many, things I've read about being present. - focusing on the moment we are in - not thinking about the past (I wish I could do that over) or the future (One day I will....) and I decide to enjoy the present.

In this moment I realize the two meanings of present ( a gift) and present (right now). Is that a coincidence? And so for today and this weekend I will think about the gift of time and the gift of being present. I will try to stay in the moment and out of the 'list of to do's' I type this as I look around my office and think - I really should ....and I see piles of papers I should organize, gift cards that I gave this Christmas that had zero balances . The cashier forgot to put money on the card but it came out of my account - I'd like my money back. My poor sister was somewhat embarrassed at Bed Bath and Beyond when the card she presented had no money on it - likewise when her son took his girlfriend to the Cheesecake Factory and didn't have enough money to pay the bill without the gift card. She venmoed her son money to get him out of the tight spot and I sent her the money to cover the cost. I said I'd handle it if she mailed me back the worthless cards. She did and I still haven't gone to Hannaford yet - it's way down the list of my to do's but the cards sit on my desk reminding me to take care of the matter. And so during our Yankee swap this year with my extended family I came up with the idea of the gift card swap. Perhaps I should have gone for something different - no presents just being present, playing games and spending time together - being present.

I glance at the papers in my office, the numerous things I should attend to as I hear my husband and son sitting down for breakfast. It can wait I think and decided to join them. Spending a Saturday morning unrushed over breakfast - now that is a present.

March 1, 2019

I will open my planner to March shortly and dream of the possibilities for the month ahead. A new month, like a new year or for that matter a new day - is full of possibility and mystery. We can't possibly know what might happen in the next 31 days. Perhaps and it is my hope that we (ClubSmith) discover our love of writing. What a gift we have to try and write something down every single day to chronicle our thinking and experiences.

I have lots of things to look forward to this month among them: our field trip today to the Gulf of Maine Research Institute, Snow Tubing trip (hmmm weather might get tricky), my son David will celebrate his 23 year of life and the Eastern States road race, a 20 miler, is one I will run with my son Kevin on his birthday, 24th of March. Wow! How blessed am I? And these are just the things that I've written in my planner - the planned out moments.

How many unforeseen moments will I get to experience this month? and what emotions will accompany those experiences? Joy? Definitely, Sadness? probably, Fear? yep, Anger, likely.... so many moments, big and small will await me in this brand new month. Will I be present and mindful of the experience when it happens,? I sure hope so.

As I look at my blank planner for the month of March, I hope to have moments unplanned for that fill me with all the human emotions that we as a species are so fortunate to experience. Ever think of that? Dogs, cats, spiders, birds or other animals never get to experience that wide range of emotions? Sure a dog may get the joy of a bone or a tennis ball thrown that they can retrieve and cover with slobber but do they get to experience the emotion of what it means to be human: To feel shy and scared and then proud and courageous? or that moment after you've taken a risk and share an idea or try something new and then you get to say, "I did it." Do they get to struggle then struggle more and then learn something incredibly cool, like how to ride a bike or balance on a skateboard. I don't think so - that's something that is ours alone something that is being a human. With that thought I will close with a poem written by me, just now, about the beauty of a new month, this month - March

March

At first glance

You get no respect

A month of dread

In New England

The snow will keep coming

Spring will arrive in the south

We will grumble and complain

We are good at that up north

It’s time for a do-over

March, you need a

P.R person, a promoter

To illuminate your glory

You are a month of hope

You point us toward lightness

You grant us

Days that start earlier

And end later

that is your offering

You provide us with time

To spring forward

To leap into the possibility

That exists as the snow melts

Not as soon as we’d like

But good things

Come to those who wait

The birds will return

And the earth will warm

To nurture growth

Within ourselves

February 28, 2019

Today as I woke to begin my day, I thought about my shift back to hot coffee in the morning. Last week it was iced coffee everyday. Vacations are the best. We break from our routines and if we are lucky we get to travel. My photo on this page shows my new happy place in Florida. I had iced coffee every morning on the deck of our rental cottage. I listened to the waves and settled into the day wondering what joy would await on a day where I could plan what I did every minute.

I visited the island for the first time (I'm not naming it so the secret doesn't get out). Each evening we'd stroll to watch the sun as it set as did many others. Beach chairs were dragged, cameras were ready, families paused from their busy lives (not everyone was on vacation) and in community, people went to the beach to marvel in the beauty of the setting sun. Night after night, this became our routine. We stopped ourselves from reading or writing or biking or all the other fun things one can do on a vacation and we took a moment. We shut down the noise and the rush of life to pause while we noticed the sounds of the waves, the birds, perhaps if we were lucky we'd see a dolphin breach. Every night was magical.

This morning as I wrapped a scarf around my neck at 5 a.m. and waited for the coffee to be ready, I thought of the role weather plays in our lives. Good weather, good mood, good plans and good sights and sounds. Bad weather and in my estimation, cold and snow now equal bad weather equals bad mood. I like the snow and the cold during the holidays but now two months later, it's just getting old and I'm waiting for spring to come. The snow fell last evening while I was sleeping and as I walked into the kitchen feet warmly in slippers, to make my coffee, I realized I was back to hot coffee. I'm in New England, northern New England. Maine. It will be this way for awhile.

T S Eliot's epic poem the Wasteland poetically suggests that April is the cruelest month. I disagree, Tomorrow is March 1st and I know March will be a cruel one, it always is. No breaks , no long weekends, no respite from the wind. March is cruel and it is black ... sunsets early followed by evening: black. Followed by mornings: black. Dressing in the dark: clothing: black. Grabbing the shovel: handle :black. Driving to work ice: black, walking cautiously into school my mood: black. Getting over myself and my situation I say, "Spring will arrive in 21 more days, I take a sip from my coffee: hot and black.

March 6, 2019

It's women's history month. I haven't mentioned that yet in class. This week with the snow day and the snow tubing day will be a bit

March 5, 2019

An entry of lists

Top 5 (fitting on March 5th I think) - I was asked to write a list of the top books that shaped me as a teacher for an application to a summer program in NYC that helps teachers learn more about the art of teaching reading. It got me thinking. Narrowing something down to the top five is always hard but I will force myself not to do six. Also this list is not in rank order. This list is subject to change after I've had more time to think.

Top 5 Books I've read that have shaped my practice as a teacher

Choice Words/Creating Cultures of Thinking/Making Thinking Visible/Mosaic of Thought/One Size Does Not Fit All

Top 5 Movies

Out of Africa/Shawshank Redemption/The Goonies/To Kill a Mockingbird/Dances with Wolves

Top 5 Albums

Hymns to the Silence by Van Morrison/Nebraska by Bruce Springsteen/Bohemian Rhapsody Soundtrack by Queen/Medusa by Annie Lennox/Hamilton Original Broadway Play Soundtrack by Original Broadway Cast

Top 5 Musicals

Phantom of the Opera/Hamilton/Peter Pan/West Side Story/The King and I

Top 5 Short Stories

The Body by Stephen King/Jhumpa Lahiri (any short story)/The Story of an Hour - Kate Chopin/The Gift of the Majii by O.Henry/The Lottery by Shirley

(time is up on this entry - my spin bike is calling me - I will get back to this entry later today.(except that I didn't) yesterday was a whirlwind....

March 4, 2019

SNOWDAY!!!!!

Oh as much as i've been bemoaning the weather since my trip to Florida, how I love a snowday! I've made it a compound word. Two words when put together take on new meaning. Cow/boy - cowboy, milk/shake - milkshake, you know a whole lot of them. But snowday, although, google (or whoever makes the little read line appear under unknown words) doesn't recognize it. We here in New England sure do especially if your in the education field. For others in the workforce (another compound word) it's not always the case. For example, if you are working at a hospital, you are going to work today - storm or no storm. For school related fields, a snowday Is the unexpected gift that arrives at 5 a.m that comes with instructions, "Sleep in, do the day your way, you might need to shovel, but you may just get to finish the projects you couldn't get to this weekend"

As I was typing this, we lost power but to my happiness the generator kicked in. A power outage sometimes accompanies a snow day. This can be fun if you have a back up way to light the house or to get heat. Without those two necessities, I can see where some might not find the same delight in a snowday.

Today, this first Monday of March, I have a few wonderful things on my list of to do's. One I will definitely engage in is the old "if I was in school, I'd be doing (fill in the blank right now). I first fe;l in love with that game when I was a child. I would have stayed home from school for a minor ailment (the tail end of a cold) and I'd be eating tomato soup and a grilled cheese or be under a quilt as my mother made me the center of her attention. I'd look at a clock and realize that everyone else was at school doing work. I'd draw the quilt up a little closer, snuggle in or I'd dip the sandwich into the soup and enjoy the moment.

Today I will enjoy the moment - maybe sneak in an exercise class that is only offered during school hours or I will open up my textbook for my new course and dive into the learning. Maybe I will indulge myself with during the day reading or writing for pleasure. I've got a few projects (a grant I'm applying for, an office to clean and sort) and I have a few things that are on my "because I said I would" list. I've got an extra day to do it all.

This is making me think of a news story I learned about the 4 day work week a company in New Zealand - has switched to but everyone gets paid for five days and gets a three day weekend. The quality of life and the productivity in the office improved. People who had the three day weekend spoke about being able to visit parents more and had less personal stress - think we could do that in the U.S.? I'd be interested.

I look at the clock and realized that I'd be at school right now, writing the schedule on the board or rushing to the copier or making a copy of a poem for the day or reviewing the math lessons and I draw the quilt around my ankles as I type in my living room. Maybe I will have soup and a grilled cheese today as I remember my mother. I wonder what happened to that family quilt that my father's mother made. Maybe I will write all the memories I have of my grandmother, Josie Castle, a pioneer woman who taught me how to tat (a lost art of making lace) and who turned me onto General Hospital. I've got the gift of time.

I've got the present of today, the gift of a snowday and I will be present for it.

March 3, 2019

Before I even got out of bed today, I had the luxury of finishing a book, I've been enjoying since vacation. The book, The Bronze Bow, a Newbery Medal award winner, was recommended to me by our school librarian, Mrs. Thompson. Whenever a book is suggested to me by a friend, I feel it is like a little window into that friend's soul. This book I believe spoke to what I know about Mrs. Thompson and her faith. I will look forward to discussing the book with her now that I've finished it.

At first the book was very difficult for me to read, it was based in the year 30 AD (about 1,990 years ago - rounded that would be 2,000 years ago). I had to work hard to understand the time period and I often found myself reaching for my computer so that I could look up a timeline of history, research the setting on a map and do a little reading about certain historical characters that were written into the book of fiction. This is why I love historical fiction, because I get to learn about history and also read a great story at the same time.

As our class begins reading historical fiction, I am excited because we will all have the opportunity to share what we've learned about history from our books. We will be building a timeline of history on our bulletin board. That was we will collectively be able to look at history and see the many, many stories that have unfolded over time. All of it representing our history, some local and by local I mean in our country and some of you will read books that take place across many oceans. My book took place in Jerusalem, Israel in the Middle East, a place I've never visited outside of my mind in books or via google maps.

I have the pleasure of having four new books in my 'to read' pile in my bedroom. But first today, I will have my weekly pleasure of reading the Sunday paper. What surprises will it hold for me? Will I read an article that inspires me, an opinion that makes me think, a news story about the arts that excites me or a world wide story that causes me to think deeper about our world. I will bring in the paper this week as I want to inspire our students to seek out a story that interests them. Later this week we will learn from a television reporter about find stories to write about and how to present them to an audience.

I am lucky I have the joy of reading in my life. I hope that before this year is over, I can bring that joy in some form to every student in our class.

And now my Sunday awaits me. I'm off to church, to think a bit about what I will read there, I'm off to run beside my son on a ten mile training run where I will run to music my family has submitted for our playlist and I'm off to enjoy another weekend day and the joys of no schedule before returning to the school week.

March 2, 2019

I awake without an alarm and am so happy for the gift, a simple gift of time on the weekend to do things that I get to without a schedule. What would it be like if we could gift each other the simple pleasure of time? I once read a book of essays by the writer, Ellen Goodman. It was titled A Gift of Time. I believe the book was a collection of essays and that it was either gifted to me or loaned to me by my mother in law, Ann. Thinking back now perhaps Ann was gifting me a message when she gave me the book. In the book Ellen thinks about time and the wisdom that people who've lived longer acquire and how lovely it would be to be able to explain to someone younger that what they are experiencing now is only a moment in time. If I recall correctly, Ellen writes about her daughter struggling in her college years and wishes that she could give her a gift of time in the future when she is well past all of that, when she is a mother raising a family. I wish I could find the book and reread the essay.

I glance around my home office and cannot find the book - I'm in the midst of organizing things and my office is a mess. I'm preparing for shelves to be built to house the books I treasure and have had to box things up. Although I ran out of boxes...so a sofa in my office has piles of books and papers and the floor holds stacks of books. I need more boxes.

Time, it is a fleeting and something we all say we wish we had more of. We think about the future, my future shelves and my getting more boxes. We think about setting alarms (every school day morning) so we can get things done (working out, planning lessons, cleaning), we think about people we want to see, calls we want to make, letters we want to write, books we want to read and think , "when will I find the time?" I think about the many, many, things I've read about being present. - focusing on the moment we are in - not thinking about the past (I wish I could do that over) or the future (One day I will....) and I decide to enjoy the present.

In this moment I realize the two meanings of present ( a gift) and present (right now). Is that a coincidence? And so for today and this weekend I will think about the gift of time and the gift of being present. I will try to stay in the moment and out of the 'list of to do's' I type this as I look around my office and think - I really should ....and I see piles of papers I should organize, gift cards that I gave this Christmas that had zero balances . The cashier forgot to put money on the card but it came out of my account - I'd like my money back. My poor sister was somewhat embarrassed at Bed Bath and Beyond when the card she presented had no money on it - likewise when her son took his girlfriend to the Cheesecake Factory and didn't have enough money to pay the bill without the gift card. She venmoed her son money to get him out of the tight spot and I sent her the money to cover the cost. I said I'd handle it if she mailed me back the worthless cards. She did and I still haven't gone to Hannaford yet - it's way down the list of my to do's but the cards sit on my desk reminding me to take care of the matter. And so during our Yankee swap this year with my extended family I came up with the idea of the gift card swap. Perhaps I should have gone for something different - no presents just being present, playing games and spending time together - being present.

I glance at the papers in my office, the numerous things I should attend to as I hear my husband and son sitting down for breakfast. It can wait I think and decide to join them. Spending a Saturday morning unrushed over breakfast - now that is a present.

March 1, 2019

I will open my planner to March shortly and dream of the possibilities for the month ahead. A new month, like a new year or for that matter a new day - is full of possibility and mystery. We can't possibly know what might happen in the next 31 days. Perhaps and it is my hope that we (ClubSmith) discover our love of writing. What a gift we have to try and write something down every single day to chronicle our thinking and experiences.

I have lots of things to look forward to this month among them: our field trip today to the Gulf of Maine Research Institute, Snow Tubing trip (hmmm weather might get tricky), my son David will celebrate his 23 year of life and the Eastern States road race, a 20 miler, is one I will run with my son Kevin on his birthday, 24th of March. Wow! How blessed am I? And these are just the things that I've written in my planner - the planned out moments.

How many unforeseen moments will I get to experience this month? and what emotions will accompany those experiences? Joy? Definitely, Sadness? probably, Fear? yep, Anger, likely.... so many moments, big and small will await me in this brand new month. Will I be present and mindful of the experience when it happens,? I sure hope so.

As I look at my blank planner for the month of March, I hope to have moments unplanned for that fill me with all the human emotions that we as a species are so fortunate to experience. Ever think of that? Dogs, cats, spiders, birds or other animals never get to experience that wide range of emotions? Sure a dog may get the joy of a bone or a tennis ball thrown that they can retrieve and cover with slobber but do they get to experience the emotion of what it means to be human: To feel shy and scared and then proud and courageous? or that moment after you've taken a risk and share an idea or try something new and then you get to say, "I did it." Do they get to struggle then struggle more and then learn something incredibly cool, like how to ride a bike or balance on a skateboard. I don't think so - that's something that is ours alone something that is being a human. With that thought I will close with a poem written by me, just now, about the beauty of a new month, this month - March

March

At first glance

You get no respect

A month of dread

In New England

The snow will keep coming

Spring will arrive in the south

We will grumble and complain

We are good at that up north

It’s time for a do-over

March, you need a

P.R. person, a promoter

To illuminate your glory

You are a month of hope

You point us toward lightness

You grant us

Days that start earlier

And end later

that is your offering

You provide us with time

To spring forward

To leap into the possibility

That exists as the snow melts

Not as soon as we’d like

But good things

Come to those who wait

The birds will return

And the earth will warm

To nurture growth

Within ourselves

February 28, 2019

Today as I woke to begin my day, I thought about my shift back to hot coffee in the morning. Last week it was iced coffee everyday. Vacations are the best. We break from our routines and if we are lucky we get to travel. My photo on this page shows my new happy place in Florida. I had iced coffee every morning on the deck of our rental cottage. I listened to the waves and settled into the day wondering what joy would await on a day where I could plan what I did every minute.

I visited the island for the first time (I'm not naming it so the secret doesn't get out). Each evening we'd stroll to watch the sun as it set as did many others. Beach chairs were dragged, cameras were ready, families paused from their busy lives (not everyone was on vacation) and in community, people went to the beach to marvel in the beauty of the setting sun. Night after night, this became our routine. We stopped ourselves from reading or writing or biking or all the other fun things one can do on a vacation and we took a moment. We shut down the noise and the rush of life to pause while we noticed the sounds of the waves, the birds, perhaps if we were lucky we'd see a dolphin breach. Every night was magical.

This morning as I wrapped a scarf around my neck at 5 a.m. and waited for the coffee to be ready, I thought of the role weather plays in our lives. Good weather, good mood, good plans and good sights and sounds. Bad weather and in my estimation, cold and snow now equal bad weather equals bad mood. I like the snow and the cold during the holidays but now two months later, it's just getting old and I'm waiting for spring to come. The snow fell last evening while I was sleeping and as I walked into the kitchen feet warmly in slippers, to make my coffee, I realized I was back to hot coffee. I'm in New England, northern New England. Maine. It will be this way for awhile.

T S Eliot's epic poem the Wasteland poetically suggests that April is the cruelest month. I disagree, Tomorrow is March 1st and I know March will be a cruel one, it always is. No breaks , no long weekends, no respite from the wind. March is cruel and it is black ... sunsets early followed by evening: black. Followed by mornings: black. Dressing in the dark: clothing: black. Grabbing the shovel: handle: black. Driving to work ice: black, walking cautiously into school my mood: black. Getting over myself and my situation I say, "Spring will arrive in 21 more days, I take a sip from my coffee: hot and black.

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