The Sunday School Teacher

People that work for no money have the hardest jobs of all. They know that they will receive no pay for all of the effort they put in. Sunday school teaching is one of the hardest jobs that I can think of. Most of the kids either think that they know more than you, the teacher, and some use your class just to goof off. There is that tiny percentage that come there to learn. There is one thing common in most of the little “angels.” They don’t pay attention. As you try to rally the wild kids in Group 2, you are overcome by the truth. These kids are just here to have fun. Then you try to make Group 1 shut up, but you remember that you are in a church and that you “like this job” and don't want to be fired. And, because you are in a church, you think it’s best not to swear. You graciously thank the kids in Group 3 and say, “Sorry, but we won't have enough time to finish the lesson, although you were looking forward to it.” There goes Plan A. You had a whole lesson planned about Jesus and his crucifixion, but you always have a backup plan. Time to get over the disappointment and go to Plan B, which is to start a debate and use that debate to get the kids in Group 2 to be quiet. The debate topic is I am better than you. For the kids that are hyper like they have had coffee with 20 shots of espresso, you bring out the one thing that they can touch, feel, smell, lick and eat in a church: LEGOs. You gather in a circle the kids who want to learn the lesson and tell them the plan, a tiny bit of your planned lesson. You barely get in the first eighth of the lesson due to constant screaming. When the class is over, you promise yourself never to come back to teach but you always do. When you arrive you wonder why God is torturing you! Then rinse and repeat.