Quotes 2015
Emily: “I don’t have any quotes for the quotes.”
Alora: “I need to text my mom, I can’t remember how old I am.”
After Liv asks about allergies.
Gary: “Do you have paranoid delusions, Gary? Why yes, yes I do.”
Gary: “At the end of this, we’re all going to die.”
Monica: “Gary, you’re starting to sound like me.”
About Gary’s new book.
Cora: “Does that smell good?”
Gary: “Yeah, smells like a new book in a dirty box.”
Lilia: “I think vanilla tastes like flowers.”
Talking about Yukon’s face.
Monica: “His cheek crack is bigger.”
Gary: “Watch out everyone I have diseases.”
Monica: “How many?”
Gary: “I don’t know, like six. After four I was like, ‘whatever.’”
After killing a moth then writing a story.
Monica: “Maybe I should kill things more often; it inspires me.”
Anna: “Is there purple dinosaur on my butt?”
Monica: “Why does Mom use the boys’ bathroom?”
Jade: “Welp, no more reading about heroin.”
Cora: “Smoke some crack.”
Gary: “Next year I’ll name the class Creative Writing slash Drugs.”
Trying to give a prompt.
Gary: “Write a story about an older person who walks into a room and needs to get rid of--”
Zoey: “A dead body?”
Gary: “No!”
Cora: “My favorite things aren’t real.”
Zoey: “How do boys’ minds work?”
Gary (laughing): “Slooowly, Sloowly.”
Liv: “I took a nap yesterday and the nap ended with a bear blowing air darts at me.”
Talking about Entre’s limeade.
Cora: “Is it weird to say that this tastes like sunscreen?”
Anna (to Gary): “I think my name is on your foot.”
Liv: “If anyone ever tells me that there’s a special place in Hell for me, I’d tell them it’s
called a throne.”
Cora (to Lilia): “You know, I think that’s a song but I can’t tell since it’s coming out of your mouth.”
As we talked about the podium that Gary uses as a soulsucker.
Abby: “We’re all gingers on the inside.”
Mariah: “Are you from Amster? Cause dam!”
Cora: “You need to read this. It’s short and stupid.’
Anna: “It’s okay. I like short and stupid; I did talk to your brother for a while.”
Cora: “He’s not so short anymore. Sometimes I see him walking and just want to cut his legs off.”
Alivia: “Hey Abby, do you wanna go find a dead body with me?”
Gary: “Or we could get somebody’s flip-flop and use it as a time machine.”
Alora: “My bike decided to kill me.”
Jade: “What do armadillos eat?”
Mariah: “Children’s dreams...”
Lilia: “Jade, just wondering. What’s your opinion on scary movies?”
Jade: “My parents don’t let me watch them because I might get ideas.”
Monica - “I don’t like seafoam green. It’s not a pleasing color.”
Cora - “You’re not a pleasing color.”
Monica - “I’m sorry I’m white.”
Gary: “I use perfume too, but only on my big toe. When people ask, ‘Can I smell your toe?’, I’m
like ‘Oh yeah.’”
Jade: “Babies taste like fish?!”
Zoey: “Is this edible, or I meant, is this legible?”
Gary: “Ahem, I rank people on a 1-100 scale of me liking them; they start at a 40. Cora has
never gotten above a 33.”
Lilia: “When I’m hungry, my stomach gets all wavy like a jellybean.”
Monica: “Jellyfish?”
Lilia: “Yeah…”
Cora: “I think you’re such small children and then I read your writing and I think, you’re such
powerful small children.”
Lilia: “Look, I have Oprah Winfrey arms!”
Liv: “It’s like I’m sitting in a donut!”
Gary: “We all feel so deeply insecure about our Oprah arms.”
Lilia: “I’ve never seen pot.”
Cora: “...but you’ve seen a flowerpot.”
Lilia: “Is that a type of weed?”
Monica: “What is a word that would describe a muscular horse?”
Gary: “Gary.”
Anna: “You’re great at writing constitutions. Thomas Jefferson is having a party in his grave
right now.”
And too many more not suitable for printing...