Praise for
Echoes of Dreams
"These poems want to be read: They're full of skilled uses of repetition, interesting syntax, and truth. Follow it until the end, you'll be happy you did."
–Tyler Michael Jacobs, 5th year SHP Creative Writing Instructor
For my family, thank you for teaching me what real love is.
Table of Contents
Mirrors
What of a Home?
Home
Happy Birthday Mom
My Shield
To The Person Who Broke my Heart
The Love I Felt
Glasses
They Said
Almost There
Endless Stairs
Stay
Daring
The Gentle Rose
Growing Up Too Fast
Shattered Spirits
Whispers of Loss
One Last Wish
End
Acknowledgments
Thank you, family, I would have never pushed myself to go this far in writing. No matter what you have always been there routing for me.
Thank you Liss for telling me to go for it with summer honors. You have seen me develop from my darkest to my strongest. You never gave up on me or my family.
Thank you to my brother for believing in me and teaching me what it is to fight to live.
Thank you to all the people at Summer Honors who inspired me to do what I want. You all taught me that it’s my story and I get to write it.
Mirrors
Mirrors
Mirrors
All different sizes
Judging me in all different fronts
All around the walls
Taking glimpses of me when I’m not looking
Catching the parts I don’t want seen
Mirrors
Mirrors
Haunt me in my dreams
You’re either too big
Or too small
Too happy
Or too sad
Mirrors
Mirrors
Inside or out
They are everywhere
What of a Home?
Thousand, millions
They all morph together
The zeros in my bank account don’t even matter
I grew up in factories
With my father always telling me stories
Even though most of them were boring
Then one night my father met a tragic end
Just because someone tried to make the laws bend
So a funeral I attend
At this moment on I’m fully alone
My heart a stone
And I can’t even remember what of a home
Home
A hot summer day
With waves crashing against the shore
The sand stuck in between my toes
This is my home
Even when the water is cold
Or the sun has gone astray
I feel at peace here
Away from all my mistakes
The warmth from the sun is nice
But I know without it, it will still feel the same
Here I feel no fears
Here I feel just dreams
Here I feel home
Happy Birthday Mom
Your kindness
Your heart
Your smile
Your laugh
Your everything
You make me want to dream
You make me want to live
You make me want to love
You give everything your all
Even when things are rough
Even when all the odds are against you
Those green eyes
You gave
That red hair
You saved
Those freckles
You shared
46 to this day
My dear mother
Never old
Never gray
Her smile
That will forever
Light up my heart and day
My Shield
Dad, you’re my shield from the strong winds
Dad, you’re my flout from the deep water
Dad, you’re my strength when I need it most
Dad without you I don’t know how life would go.
You make me feel safe when I’m afraid
You make me feel happy when I’m sad
You make me feel protected when there is danger
You gave me your hair
You gave me your skin
You gave me your dimples
Whenever things get rough
Or I don’t feel enough
I remember you
And all you went through
Thank you for being the father you never had
Thank you for making me smile whenever I’m sad
Thank you for providing for me beyond what I need
For I always know that your love is guaranteed
To the Person Who Broke my Heart
All those lost days
Praying you would stay
Praying you’d still love me all the same
Forever you said
But now I lay alone in bed
Hurting and having solemn dread
I thought you loved me
But now I know that will never be
I know we would have never worked out
But I just couldn’t say it out loud
I thought my true love was found
But I ended up being drowned
The Love I Felt
I fell in love with you
The old you
That’s not you anymore
When I see you
I don’t see the bad
I see who you used to be
Even after all you did to me
I wish you never changed
I wish you still loved me the same
Obviously, that’s not the case
When I see you
I see your goofy smile
I see your the kindness you showed me
I see the gold specks in your eyes
I loved you
I really did
I may still love you
But not the now you
The old you
The one who would do anything for me
You said forever
Guess you were joking
Glasses
Oh how you make me see
The truths that lie near to me
On some glass
Sits some brass
My sight in fuzzy and fazed
Warped in new ways
Dizzy I feel without
And headaches it can bring about
But once on I feel
Steady and unshaken
Hopeful and anew
They Said
Choose kindness they said
Yet they choose hate
Be yourself they said
Yet they judge you for it
Do what makes you happy they said
Yet they get mad when I do exactly that
For no matter what I do
For no matter what I say
I’m always the one in the wrong
I’m always the one that’s not true
For I do what they say
Not what they do
But every step I take
Every move I make
Isn’t the way
If I’m different at all
Then apparently I’m the one who needs to fall
What happened to kindness?
What happened to being yourself?
What happened to doing what makes you happy?
Almost There
Push Push
You can do it
Just one more
Put your heart into it
Give it your all
I can’t
I can’t
It hurts too much
I’m so tired
Just a little more
My eyes are burning
I feel like I’m crying
Almost there
Done
You’re done
You did it
Endless Stairs
The stairs they chase me
Running from the faces
That haunts me in my sleep
Faster faster
I scream to myself
I can’t let it catch me
Sometimes I face it
Most times I don’t
I think it’ll grab me
Throw me back down the stairs
I sometimes see it in the shadows
Or at night time
People ask me why I run
I’ll say I’m in a rush
But in reality
I’m running from it
Stay
Are you okay?
Hello?
Are you okay?
All I wanted was for you to stay
But you have gone away
So here I am left astray
I ask you why
I ask you to try
Then you go out and lie
All you want is to get high
At one point I wanted to be you
Now I don’t know what I am that is made out to be true
You got stuck in this blue
That got left on your shoes
Day in and day out
I try to see what you are really about
But you shut me out
Now my tears are a drought
Turns out
You took the wrong route
And it wasn’t just for clout
Now I’m too numb to barely shout
Daring
Looking up at me
With your doe eyes
It breaks me heart
To know the tears you cry
You want him back
So do I
We sit in silence
The tears roll down your cheek
I pull you into my arms
I say it’ll be okay
It’ll be alright
You start to shake
Then your voice breaks
I hold you tighter
I know I can’t fix it
And it dearly hurts to admit
We’ll get him back I say
Hoping to get your heartbeat at bay
It may never be true
But I hope for an anew
Your poor cheeks
Stained with tears
But at the moment I don’t hear
You sniffle it in
Take a deep breath
Just know there is nothing we can do that’s left
The Gentle Rose
There once was a princess young and sweet. That had a smile that could light up the world. She was beautiful in every way and her kindness was always on display. She made everyone feel enough even when things were rough. When I see her I feel happiness spring about. Everything she does is never for clout.
Growing Up Too Fast
You were someone who grew up fast
Trying to make the few good moments last
In a world full of expectations, you find yourself a place
Growing up too fast, a delicate grace
Yearning for the simplicity of the days before
Everything you loved began a bore
Demands expand
And everything becomes bland
Where did your baby doll go?
And why do you feel everyday is a new low?
Your dreams become amiss
Even in a solemn abyss
Have you lost your true smile?
Along with your fun style?
Only time will tell
If I will truly be stuck in this well
Shattered Spirits
A lost soul finds a bottle on the darkest of nights
Running from demons they hope to fight
Whispers of the past, haunting every sip
A fragile heartbreaking trying to find a grip
Numbness it brings, a small escape
Stronger the chains grow in a relentless shape
Lost in a daze
The world fades away
Leaving behind
The broken mind
A hope still lingers, a flicker in the dark
A hand reaching out, to ignite a spark
A journey of healing, a path to reclaim
Breaking free from the cycle, to find a new aim
Whispers of Loss
Walking home from school
I see your car
I start to run
It feels like a mile
I haven’t seen you for weeks
Yet there you are standing in the garage
Your hair a mess
Your eyes looking despairing
Your voice cracked
I run into your arms
Dropping my bag to the side
I cry into your shoulder
You hug me tight
You say how you love me
How you will be better for me
I say how I’ve missed you
Then when I walk inside
I ask “you coming”
You say “Summer I’m going back”
What? No
Not now
I need you
“Summer I’m going to get help”
“I need help”
I say my goodbyes
Trying to hold up my smile
But I know how this goes
You leave for months
Then return him again
But slowly I watch you
Fade away back
To the hollow of your soul
To the depths of your sadness
I have to lose you all over again
I know you need help
So that’s what you get
Over and over
Maybe one day it’ll stick
Maybe today is that day
You get in the car to leave
As you close the door
A tear runs down my sleeve
I run inside
Downstairs to your room
There I lay
Tears streaming down my face
Praying you’ll
Really come back to me one day
I pick myself off the ground
Walk to the bathroom and look around
Whenever you hurt
I do too
I turn on the shower
Stand with the water
Burning down my back
The tears come stronger
Then I ask
Oh God, how much longer
One Last Wish
The next I am to be forgotten
So with that, I say
Don’t let me die in vain
Don’t let our memories fray away
And as I lay
Don’t let go
But don’t
Hideaway
Live your life
As if I were cheering you on
As if I were standing by your side
Follow your dreams
But most of all
Follow your heart
End
You can do it
You can do it
Where were you when I did it?
I’ll be there
I’ll be there
Yet you skipped again
I promise
I promise
Then you went out and broke it
I won’t
I won’t
You did
Forever
And ever
Now this is the end