Deep Dark Secrets By Amelia Hunter

Praise for

Deep Dark Secrets

"Daring. Honest. Funny. Through repetition, this book of poems doesn't want anything other than to be heard. And it is heard!"

–Tyler Michael Jacobs, 5th year SHP Creative Writing Instructor

To my lovely mother, for always being my number one fan. 

To my father for always being there for me. 

To my older sister for supporting me no matter what. 

To my older brother for keeping me in check. 

To my little sister for being my best friend. 

Table of Contents

Bucket Hat 

Peter 

The “B” Word 

Under the Bridge 

I miss you 

Dark Side Nursery Rhyme 

Freshly Baked Cookies 

The Breakup 

Objects and Actions 

Hot Air Balloons 

Anxiety 

Gummy Bears 

Underwater 

Pretty Girl in Yellow Dress 

Poor 

Trash 

Soul Sucker 

Sleep 

Bucket Hat

Oh bucket hat oh bucket hat

Where are thou bucket hat

My bucket hat flew away 10 years ago

It washed away at sea.

One might ask

Do you miss your bucket hat?

And I would answer

Oh my poor bucket hat

How I miss my bucket hat

Bucket hat, my bucket hat

How I wish my bucket hat would come back

My bucket was my pride and joy 

But the gods took my bucket hat away

Maybe they thought my bucket hat gave me too much power

Or perhaps they just don’t want me to be happy

But my bucket was the only bucket hat that kept me sane. 

Without my bucket hat, I feel lost

I hope the seas return my bucket hat

Because my bucket hat is my other half

Now I go to dinner without my bucket hat

And I don’t know if my bucket hat is hungry

My bucket hat needs food

My bucket hat needs nourishment 

Now I can no longer see

Because my bucket hat was the one to shade me

The sun glares down at me 

And my bucket hat isn’t there to save me

They tell me to use sunglasses

But I cannot replace my bucket hat

My bucket hat fits me quite right

Oh bucket hat oh bucket hat 

How you are so divine

I love my bucket hat

When I lost my bucket hat I was so sad

But then a woman came up to me and said:

It's on your head!

Oh I was so happy

Because my bucket hat is my daddy. 

Peter

It’s better to be in the water with Jesus than on the boat without him. 

The “B” Word

I quit

I am in a writing slump

I can’t come up with any ideas

I just sit here

Waiting for an idea to pop up in my head

I could write about flowers or friends

But don’t feel like I can write good

Everything is BAD

I am not allowed to say bad, though

Let’s just say, it's not good

Anything except good

One might call it weird

And another may call it boring

I’m afraid of correction

Because it makes me feel like less of a person.

Under the Bridge

I killed a man in Vegas

It was because I was riding a pegasus 

I was up high in the sky

And as time went by

My pegasus got tired 

He was going to get fired.

he was too close to the ground

And this was when a body was found

At first, I couldn’t tell who it was 

But when we got closer, I could see it was Buzz.

His legs snapped 

And his lips were chapped

I tried to call the police

But my hands were filled with grease

That’s when I realized

That I wasn’t baptized

And I was the murderer the whole time.

I miss you

I hate how you drive. 

I hate how your voice penetrates my heart

I hate how you made me feel

I hate how you made me cry

I hate how you treat your father

I hate how you made me laugh

I hate how you left me

I hate how I still miss you

I hate how you kept secrets

I hate how you hung out with other girls 

I hate how you made me hate all the other boys

I hate how you made me hate myself

I hate how you made me feel insignificant

I hate how you made me stop caring

I hate how I still love you 

I hate how I’m not over you

I hate you. 

And I hate that the most. 

Dark Side Nursery Rhyme

Row row row your boat, 

Gently down the streams…

of tears rolling down my face.

Dark, right?

I finally figured out that life isn’t all merry,

And also has no dreams. 

This world is cruel,

And it will tear you to shreds.

But you can’t let that show 

Because you have to let that boat 

Flow down that stream 

Even if it's rolling down your face. 

Baa baa black sheep

Have you any will to live? 

No sir, No sir, 

I lost mine a long time ago

The master’s dead 

And the dame’s abandoned.

Only the little boy has hope 

And it's going to get taken 

Hickory dickory dock

The mouse ran up the clock

Not because the clock struck one 

But because he was running from the cat. 

When the clock did strike one

and the mouse ran down

The cat ate him

Because he’s a murderer. 

Little Bo Peep lost her spark

And it wasn’t because her sheep were gone

She can’t find someone to love

And that killed her. 

Freshly Baked Cookies

It’s different now that you are gone. The smell of you has faded from each room. It no longer smells like baby powder and freshly baked cookies. There’s no longer the sound of your old TV running in the background and I can’t hear the conversations of you and my mother. The sound coming from your clock has seized, and there’s an absence of your love. It’s silent. It’s empty. It’s because you’re gone. 

The Breakup

I want to break up with him. 

He just makes me feel so dim 

The way he drives bothers 

And the way that he treats his father. 

But I love the way he looks at me 

And the way he makes my heart gleam

I just can’t tell if he’s the one 

Because without him I would have none.

Object and Action

She drops her phone

He types on his computer

She hops off the ledge 

He reads a book

She cries at her desk

He laughs at the dog

She shuffles the cards

He walks over to the apple

She picks her nose

He checks his watch

She drinks her drink

He draws on a piece of paper

She eats popcorn

He chokes on water

She taps her shoes 

He fucks his girlfriend

She picks up the phone

He eats his trail mix

She grabs her bag

He hides the body in the bag

She curls her hair

He pets the cat

She points at the board

He squirts the water gun

She falls asleep in her bed 

He lays awake with his eyes open. 

Hot Air Balloon

Perfection is the figment of my imagination. 

No matter how hard I try,

Or how hard I wish,

I can’t seem to find the perfection I am searching for.

I look up toward the sky,

Looking for a little bit of hope 

But I fall short 

Every.

Single.

Time. 

I don’t know how much longer 

I can keep up on this act.

I’m going to slip up.

And everyone is going to find out

That I’m not this girl

Who is perfect.

Anxiety

Air isn't free

on nights like these

my throat won't let anything pass

it feels as if my trachea is a conductor 

waiting for a ticket to let my breath seep out 

I search for this so-called ticket 

looking high and low 

hoping I can find anything to help me 

it's not fair to have to pay the price 

of just being able to live.

Gummy Bears

Hi

My

Name

Is

Amelia

And 

This 

Is 

My

Poem

Thank

You 

For 

Tuning 

In 

See 

You

Next 

Time 

Underwater

I gasp for air as I'm drowning in these thoughts

knowing no one actually cares 

about me or these thoughts

I fall short. 

I don’t know how much longer

I can keep my head above these waters

Because my legs are chained 

To these heavy feelings 

That pull me under

Pretty Girl in Yellow Dress

Loving you is like trying to open a door that is locked

A locked door is just a wall

You can't get through a wall

You can’t go over it, either. 

It’s like trying to give someone a hug

But you are wearing a straitjacket

You can’t extend your hands

In fact, you can hardly move at all.

It’s like trying to fill up a strainer with water

My unending love can never fill you up

No matter what I do or what I say

It somehow, will never be enough.

Poor

It takes me anywhere

From the store to a house

It likes to stay on the dirt 

But is sometimes forced on concrete

It runs fast and walks slow

It leaps over logs 

and walks with style 

This was the main way of transportation back in the day

When someone had it, they were considered poor

But nowadays they are considered rich

Trash

Sometimes, I feel like Forky from Toy Story. I relate to him a lot. I don’t feel important and it seems as if no one actually likes me. I am unsure of almost everything and sometimes I just want to disappear. I know I was made to be wanted, but right now, I feel insignificant. I want to jump into the trash; I want a garbage truck to pick me up, take me to a place where everything is like me, and leave me there forever.

Soul Sucker

I came in happy to tell the world about what I've learned 

But after this trip, I forgot that the world isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows

I realized that people are cruel and will want to bring you down

Acknowledgments

Poor was first published on KUVR. 

Thank you to Anika Scheele, Summer Florell, Benjamin Popple, Alizabeth Mcdermott, Adrianna Seberger, Aspyn Chapin, Jaelyn Trew, Lydia Sikes, Maxine Fickenscher, Hali Knott, and Darbie deFreese. You guys were very inspiring during our time in our creative writing class during Summer Honors. 

Thank you to Tyler Jacobs for being a really cool dude. I am very thankful that I had you as a professor. 

Thank you to everyone in Summer Honors for making this year unforgettable. Everyone was so welcoming and nice. Thank you for making this last year the best year. 

Thank you to the art class for inspiring the poem Bucket Hat.

Thank you to my parents for pushing me to my fullest potential and never letting me down. 

Thank you to my siblings for growing up with me and being my best friends. My siblings are always there for me and always ready to kick some xxx when someone bothers me.