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Childhood Distress
Childhood Distress
...refers to the stress and emotional upset children feel when they go through difficult or traumatic events . Supporting a distressed child involves providing a stable, loving environment, listening to their concerns, and helping them develop coping strategies. It's important to be patient and empathetic, offering consistent support and reassurance.
...refers to the stress and emotional upset children feel when they go through difficult or traumatic events . Supporting a distressed child involves providing a stable, loving environment, listening to their concerns, and helping them develop coping strategies. It's important to be patient and empathetic, offering consistent support and reassurance.
Why Children experience distress...
Why Children experience distress...
Changes at Home:
Divorce or Separation: Adjusting to new family dynamics can be challenging.
Moving: Adapting to a new environment and leaving behind familiar places and friends.
2. Health Issues:
Chronic Illness: Dealing with ongoing health problems.
Mental Health: Anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions.
3. Social Challenges:
Friendship Issues: Difficulties in making or maintaining friendships.
Peer Pressure: Feeling pressured to fit in or meet expectations.
4. School-Related Stress:
Academic Pressure: Struggling with schoolwork, tests, or grades.
Bullying: Experiencing bullying or social exclusion.
5. Traumatic Events:
Loss of a Loved One: Grieving the death of a family member or friend.
Witnessing Violence: Exposure to violence or traumatic events.
What Parents and Carers Might Notice...
What Parents and Carers Might Notice...
Emotional Signs:
Increased Irritability: Frequent mood swings or outbursts.
Withdrawal: Becoming more isolated and less interested in activities they used to enjoy.
Excessive Worry: Constantly expressing fears or concerns.
2. Behavioural Changes:
Regressive Behaviours: Returning to behaviours they had outgrown, such as bedwetting or thumb-sucking.
Aggression: Acting out aggressively towards others or themselves.
Changes in Sleep or Appetite: Difficulty sleeping or changes in eating habits.
3. Physical Symptoms:
Stomach aches or Headaches: Frequent complaints of physical discomfort without a clear medical cause.
Fatigue: Constant tiredness or lack of energy.
4. Academic Performance:
Decline in Grades: Sudden drop in academic performance.
Lack of Concentration: Difficulty focusing on tasks or schoolwork.
School avoidance:
Understanding Behaviour
Understanding Behaviour
1.Triggers
1.Triggers
Identify Specific Situations or Events: Pay attention to the context in which the behavior occurs. Is it happening at a particular time of day, in specific settings, or around certain people? For example, does your child become distressed before school, during homework, or after interacting with a particular peer?
New Development or Pattern: Determine if the behavior is a recent change or if it has been ongoing. New behaviors might be linked to recent changes in the child's environment or routine, while long-standing behaviors might indicate deeper issues.
3.Patterns
3.Patterns
Consistency: Keep a log of the behavior to identify any patterns. Note the frequency, duration, and intensity of the behavior. This can help in understanding if the behavior is escalating or if there are specific triggers that consistently lead to the behavior.
Persistence Over Time: Distressed behavior that persists over time may indicate an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Consistent patterns can provide clues to the root cause and help in developing strategies to manage the behavior.
2.Communication
2.Communication
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no," use questions that encourage more detailed responses. For example, "Can you tell me more about what happened at school today?" or "How did that make you feel?"
Listen Actively: Show your child that you are fully present and engaged in the conversation. This can be done through nodding, maintaining eye contact, and repeating back what they have said to show understanding. For example, "It sounds like you felt really upset when that happened."
What Parents and Carers can do to help...
What Parents and Carers can do to help...
Stay Calm
Why it matters: Your emotional state sets the tone. Reacting with panic or stress can escalate the child’s distress.
Take deep breaths.
Remind yourself to focus on the child, not the situation.
2. Create a Safe Environment
2. Create a Safe Environment
Physical safety: Ensure they are in a calm, quiet space free of potential harm.
Emotional safety: Let them know they are loved, and you are there to help without judgment.
3. Approach with Empathy and Curiosity
Be present: Sit down with them, maintaining a calm and open demeanour.
4. Use active listening
Avoid interruptions.
Repeat what they say to show you understand. “It sounds like you’re feeling really upset because…”
5.Validate Their Feelings
Acknowledge their emotions without dismissing them.
Good response: “It’s okay to feel sad about this. It’s a big deal to you, and I understand.”
Avoid: “It’s not that big of a deal, don’t cry.”
6. Help Them Identify and Name Emotions
Teach them to articulate what they’re feeling:
“Are you feeling angry, scared, or maybe frustrated?”
Offer tools like a feelings chart for younger children
7 .Problem-Solve Together
Brainstorm solutions and offer guidance:
“What do you think could help?”
Suggest small, manageable steps they can take.
Emphasize teamwork: “We’ll figure this out together.”
8. Teach Healthy Coping Strategies
Deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Physical movement: A walk, stretching, or light exercise.
Creative outlets Drawing, journaling, or listening to calming music.
Positive self-talk: “I can handle this. I am safe.”
and do not forget to ..Take Care of Yourself
and do not forget to ..Take Care of Yourself
Supporting a distressed child can be draining. Prioritise your own well-being by seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals. Remember, taking care of yourself enables you to be the best support for your child.
If in the moment you are needing some advice or support you can contact Children First Parent Support line on 08000 28 22 33
How We can Help:
How We can Help:
Helping your Distress Child Parent Group
Helping your Distress Child Parent Group
‘Distress to Success’ is a six-part programme for parents/carers who would like to help their children regulate their emotions and behaviour, and increase their sense of connection with their children. It is an early intervention programme that is delivered regularly in person by Fit Like Hub staff.
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