The argument here is that even those Christians who talk about (and model) respect and compassion for homosexuals do not really accept them fully. It is impossible, it is said, to say you accept someone but then disagree with his/her conduct and limit his/her involvement in the church. In other words, even the most open Christian who retains a traditional understanding of the morality of homosexual acts, still actually rejects homosexuals.
The objection makes some logical sense. It is easy to see that disagreement with the conduct is seen as rejection of the person. Christians sometimes talk about loving the sinner but not the sin but homosexuals may not feel that they are loved if their conduct is not approved.
However, it misses some crucial points.
The argument is therefore that Christians must accept the conduct. Otherwise they are not really being loving. We have already argued that accepting the conduct might be the least loving response if that then encourages further sin and the individual misses out on salvation.
It also overlooks the fact that many homosexuals have been genuinely loved by their churches and are grateful that the church did not condone their behaviour. It is through experiencing truth and love that they have come to know the mercy of Christ and they have the support to remain faithful to Him.
Further, it overlooks the fact that many homosexuals who have chosen celibacy (or heterosexual marriage) have leadership positions in churches. In other words, they have been fully accepted.
The issue is not so much about whether the church will accept homosexuals. It is about whether homosexuals can continue in sin and still expect full acceptance. If it is their choice to engage in immoral behaviour, then the church cannot accept that even though it welcomes and cares for the individual. To demand that the church approves of their sexual behaviour, despite the teaching of the Bible, is quite unreasonable.
Christians are being more than reasonable if they say, “We cannot agree with your lifestyle but we will love you.”